Should you push young kids in sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Not this poster, but that has nothing to do with it unless the kids are older teens.

[Anonymous]

I have two kids who play baseball.

One practices everyday and is the best player on his team and probably the league. The other couldn't care any less about baseball and won't practice.

What would be the point of pushing the one who doesn't want to practice? He doesn't care and it would only make him resent me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

OP, respectfully, she is 8. She is not a high achiever in soccer, and she also not a high achiever in school. Because she’s 8, and there’s no such thing.

Let her play soccer as much as she wants right now for fun, and after she hits puberty if she seems genuinely talented and athletic and is still into it, THEN you can push her. Nobody cares who the best 9 year old soccer player is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids who play baseball.

One practices everyday and is the best player on his team and probably the league. The other couldn't care any less about baseball and won't practice.

What would be the point of pushing the one who doesn't want to practice? He doesn't care and it would only make him resent me.

No parent wants to pressure a disinterested child, so those situations are straightforward. Help them find something else they enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

I didn’t see OP mention “varsity” - she’s really just looking for feedback on pushing a kid. Now more than ever, most successful athletes were pushed to some degree at younger ages, and their own drive takes over (or doesn’t) by ~ 12. It’s fine to try for success in sports.

The bolded statement is not true. Some parents do follow this model, many don’t. A good example of the two approaches can be seen by looking at Tiger Woods (pushed) vs Roger Federer (not pushed).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

I didn’t see OP mention “varsity” - she’s really just looking for feedback on pushing a kid. Now more than ever, most successful athletes were pushed to some degree at younger ages, and their own drive takes over (or doesn’t) by ~ 12. It’s fine to try for success in sports.

The bolded statement is not true. Some parents do follow this model, many don’t. A good example of the two approaches can be seen by looking at Tiger Woods (pushed) vs Roger Federer (not pushed).

Roger Federer's parents enrolled him at TC Old Boys tennis school at 8 (same age as OP's daughter), and he was nationally successful by 12. His parents are a good counter to Tiger's dad, but Federer's parents still actively supported him in elite training and competition at a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

I didn’t see OP mention “varsity” - she’s really just looking for feedback on pushing a kid. Now more than ever, most successful athletes were pushed to some degree at younger ages, and their own drive takes over (or doesn’t) by ~ 12. It’s fine to try for success in sports.

The bolded statement is not true. Some parents do follow this model, many don’t. A good example of the two approaches can be seen by looking at Tiger Woods (pushed) vs Roger Federer (not pushed).

Roger Federer's parents enrolled him at TC Old Boys tennis school at 8 (same age as OP's daughter), and he was nationally successful by 12. His parents are a good counter to Tiger's dad, but Federer's parents still actively supported him in elite training and competition at a young age.

Successful yes, but did they want to be pushed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

No matter the age, pushing or forcing sports and overscheduling is never a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

I didn’t see OP mention “varsity” - she’s really just looking for feedback on pushing a kid. Now more than ever, most successful athletes were pushed to some degree at younger ages, and their own drive takes over (or doesn’t) by ~ 12. It’s fine to try for success in sports.

The bolded statement is not true. Some parents do follow this model, many don’t. A good example of the two approaches can be seen by looking at Tiger Woods (pushed) vs Roger Federer (not pushed).

Roger Federer's parents enrolled him at TC Old Boys tennis school at 8 (same age as OP's daughter), and he was nationally successful by 12. His parents are a good counter to Tiger's dad, but Federer's parents still actively supported him in elite training and competition at a young age.

Well then we’re discussing whether supporting your kids and pushing your kids are the same thing. I’m all for supporting your kids, but it should be kid-driven. Federer’s parents also allowed/encouraged him to play many sports when he was kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

No matter the age, pushing or forcing sports and overscheduling is never a good thing.

"Forcing" and "pushing" are two different things, and "overscheduling" has been debated ad nauseam on these boards. The only thing we have approaching a conclusion is that keeping your kids busy is only bad if it's too much for your kids. Your family may be super social and like to have downtime to play board games together; another family may be super athletic and like to support each other in athletic pursuits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

All kids are different, yes, but not all will do or be tempted to do the wrong things and are plenty capable of occupying themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pushing competitive sports is never a good idea in the long run.

Maybe to you