Should you push young kids in sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

OK sure, fair. My oldest is easy. My youngest will absolutely someday try and find the wrong clouds.

[Anonymous]

She sounds like our family, generally. Competent and athletic enough with sports, but not some obvious superstar phenom and the priority is academics. Wasn't pushed and won't push my kids unless something changes and we discover some major talent and passion. I guess in that situation maybe we would push? Or at least try to meet their needs, but frankly, I'm not expecting to have a Michael Phelps on our hands. They can do whatever they want and we will support but if they decide it's not their thing, that's fine too. We're not gunning for college scholarships in the athletic sphere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

OK sure, fair. My oldest is easy. My youngest will absolutely someday try and find the wrong clouds.

It's not about being smug. Not all kids are going to do the wrong things and it shouldn't be assumed that they will. Overscheduling will do nothing, if kids really want to do the wrong things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So, overscheduling is ok because it might keep kids out of trouble? Don't you think that could also be detrimental?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Kids need to have a life outside of school, homework and activities. Will some kids not use their time wisely? Yes, but that doesn't mean you should treat all kids like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So, overscheduling is ok because it might keep kids out of trouble? Don't you think that could also be detrimental?

You’re taking a weird all-or-nothing stance on this. It comes down to knowing your kid. Two of mine can easily occupy themselves in productive (or at a minimum not actively harmful) ways, but the third? Yeah, we’ll keep that kid as busy as we possibly can for as long as we can. If nothing else, the structure is good for this particular child.

[Anonymous]

“Worth it” in what sense?

[Anonymous]

I don't think you can push a kid who doesn't want to be pushed. You can offer opportunities and encourage her but she either loves it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Op your post reads like you are judging the families who are "pushing" their kids by questioning the end goal. At the same time, you are seemingly wondering if you should join them. And your line about you and DH and your academics seems weird and competitive.

Reading between the lines, I think you want her to be a superstar and are bummed she doesn't have the drive to do it. But remember.. she is very young. I wouldn't let her quit so she can have sleepovers with her friends but she should be choosing to go all in on a sport, not being forced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So, overscheduling is ok because it might keep kids out of trouble? Don't you think that could also be detrimental?

You’re taking a weird all-or-nothing stance on this. It comes down to knowing your kid. Two of mine can easily occupy themselves in productive (or at a minimum not actively harmful) ways, but the third? Yeah, we’ll keep that kid as busy as we possibly can for as long as we can. If nothing else, the structure is good for this particular child.

I don't think my stance is all or nothing. An above commenter has an all or nothing stance imo. They said they'd rather overschedule their kid rather than them being bored and causing trouble. To me, that's an all or nothing stance.

[Anonymous]

Op save your time and effort and let your kid focus on academics .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Op your post reads like you are judging the families who are "pushing" their kids by questioning the end goal. At the same time, you are seemingly wondering if you should join them. And your line about you and DH and your academics seems weird and competitive.

Reading between the lines, I think you want her to be a superstar and are bummed she doesn't have the drive to do it. But remember.. she is very young. I wouldn't let her quit so she can have sleepovers with her friends but she should be choosing to go all in on a sport, not being forced.

Why wouldn't you let her quit to have sleepovers and free play/hang out time with friends? Why does that have no value anymore? Do you think organized activities trump unorganized or something?

[Anonymous]

DH's nieces and nephews were all heavily involved in travel basketball and soccer, to the point where it consumed their families lives and they traveled all over the greater west coast for them. Only 1 continued to play in college and it's for a DIII school that she could have easily been accepted to without soccer. To think of all those thousands of dollars and hours wasted...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Op your post reads like you are judging the families who are "pushing" their kids by questioning the end goal. At the same time, you are seemingly wondering if you should join them. And your line about you and DH and your academics seems weird and competitive.

Reading between the lines, I think you want her to be a superstar and are bummed she doesn't have the drive to do it. But remember.. she is very young. I wouldn't let her quit so she can have sleepovers with her friends but she should be choosing to go all in on a sport, not being forced.

Why wouldn't you let her quit to have sleepovers and free play/hang out time with friends? Why does that have no value anymore? Do you think organized activities trump unorganized or something?

Well specifically re: sleepovers, I personally dislike them and think they aren't really age appropriate for an eight year olds. My kid is very social and has never come home drama free.

I personally would not let my kid do no organized activities to just sit around and have playdates. Sports are good for learning teamwork and getting exercise, and yes, keeping them off screens or out of trouble. If she wanted to do something in lieu of soccer, totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Op your post reads like you are judging the families who are "pushing" their kids by questioning the end goal. At the same time, you are seemingly wondering if you should join them. And your line about you and DH and your academics seems weird and competitive.

Reading between the lines, I think you want her to be a superstar and are bummed she doesn't have the drive to do it. But remember.. she is very young. I wouldn't let her quit so she can have sleepovers with her friends but she should be choosing to go all in on a sport, not being forced.

Why wouldn't you let her quit to have sleepovers and free play/hang out time with friends? Why does that have no value anymore? Do you think organized activities trump unorganized or something?

Well specifically re: sleepovers, I personally dislike them and think they aren't really age appropriate for an eight year olds. My kid is very social and has never come home drama free.

I personally would not let my kid do no organized activities to just sit around and have playdates. Sports are good for learning teamwork and getting exercise, and yes, keeping them off screens or out of trouble. If she wanted to do something in lieu of soccer, totally different.

DP and +1.

That said, I think that organized team sports are good for certain things and like my kids to do them. I also think unorganized hangout time with friends is good and I like my kids to get that too. I wouldn't want to completely eliminate either.