Should you push young kids in sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - I also don’t understand how kids continue to play, train and practice at a high level and keep their grades up. Kids go to a private school with no retakes on tests. Lots of reading and math already in lower elementary.

I was a pretty decent athlete. Recruited to play in college. But I was a science major at a very hard school and my parents told me grades came first and I had to graduate in 4 years no matter what. I couldn’t do both so I didn’t play sports. Clearly there are people out there smarter than me because I couldn’t maintain a 4.0 and play high level college sports.

Well, elementary and middle school isn’t that demanding. Most kids get relatively no homework until high school. Some of the better private schools give some, but even so, it isn’t that time consuming in middle and elementary yrs

[Anonymous]

Pushing competitive sports is never a good idea in the long run.

[Anonymous]

8 seems very young for travel anything. My kid is older and on a hs team and has zero interest in the sport she played at 8. To me, travel is already pushing at that age. So my short answer is no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. FFS. Let your kid be a kid and enjoy sports.

Right? How is this a question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 seems very young for travel anything. My kid is older and on a hs team and has zero interest in the sport she played at 8. To me, travel is already pushing at that age. So my short answer is no.

In northern Virginia the "pre-travel academies" where you can pay for your kid to have a snobbier rec ball experience, start at 6 for soccer. It's insanity and it's coming for other sports too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she want to be better? It's ok to do something just for the fun of it.

This exactly. I wouldn’t pay for travel sports for an 8 year old unless the money was really no object.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Overscheduling is never a good thing. If you think screens are going to be an issue, you need to limit them or take them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 seems very young for travel anything. My kid is older and on a hs team and has zero interest in the sport she played at 8. To me, travel is already pushing at that age. So my short answer is no.

In northern Virginia the "pre-travel academies" where you can pay for your kid to have a snobbier rec ball experience, start at 6 for soccer. It's insanity and it's coming for other sports too.

I don’t think this is an accurate description of club soccer for a six-year-old. Mine is in a program that at older age is competes at a high level, but the six-year-old group practices twice a week with great coaches and motivated kids and families, and has very few actual games against other teams. Most of their games are small area scrimmages against other kids in the program and it’s been a good experience.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

I didn’t see OP mention “varsity” - she’s really just looking for feedback on pushing a kid. Now more than ever, most successful athletes were pushed to some degree at younger ages, and their own drive takes over (or doesn’t) by ~ 12. It’s fine to try for success in sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on how much she enjoys it. There are so many travel soccer teams. Unless she’s on the top one or two, she won’t play on the hs team.

If you are organizing your 8 year old's life around playing on a high school sports team (do not do this), then just don't play soccer, or volleyball, or baseball, or probably a few other things. Maybe field hockey, softball, get into running young, try crew in middle school.

Planning "oh she has to make VARSITY" in elementary school is so odd to me, but it comes up on this board again and again. Maybe a 5th or 6th grader who loves a sport very much has a sense they want to play school sports. OK. But at 8?

I didn’t see OP mention “varsity” - she’s really just looking for feedback on pushing a kid. Now more than ever, most successful athletes were pushed to some degree at younger ages, and their own drive takes over (or doesn’t) by ~ 12. It’s fine to try for success in sports.

OP didn't bring it up. The PP I quoted did. And it's true - there are some sports where in this area to play in high school at all you have to be on a good club, not just any club. Volleyball springs to mind at some schools. Even making the freshman team is incredibly competitive.

My point was two fold:
1. Anyone who really does actually care about high school sports should maybe push in one of the easier-to-make-the-team sports, but really
2. No one should organize a primary grade kid's life around making a high school team (or a college team, or going pro) except in the rare but probably existent case where that's the kid's own goal.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t do it if she doesn’t want it. If she was concerned about improving and asked for private coaching I would think about it but I wouldn’t push her at all. My 11 year old plays soccer and is one of the better players on her team but she chooses to practice in the backyard a lot. She used to do competitive gymnastics and she also used to practice that in her free time and would want to go to open gym on her off days. If she just wants to have fun and is not worried about improvement, I think pushing her would definitely make it less fun.