Should you push young kids in sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say I think downtime is bad. But never doing anything structured isn't good either. Just my opinion.

I have two very different kids - oldest is very active and social. Loves organized activities and is into a sport. She will never be a superstar at it unless something changes but she doesn't care. She loves it!!

My youngest is ADHD/ASD. Holding it together at school all day is very hard for him and he needs downtime. So he does a lot less than she does. We still have him in one thing a season because structured social opportunities are vital for him and at his age, a lot of it is life skills - swimming for example.

Why do you think not doing anything structured or organized isn't good? I respect your opinion, but some kids arent joiners.

I think it teaches them to be a part of something, have a commitment to a team/group, explore interests and gain skills. And for kids like my DS, it is almost impossible for him to play unstructured with true peers (for now, he is young) so an art or swim class is a great way for him to interact with kids outside of school in an unstructured setting. Also the reality of our neighborhood and this point in time is the vast majority of elementary kids do some activity so finding those spontaneous playdates on a weeknight is rare. We do a lot of that on weekend afternoons.

What do you mean it’s impossible for him to play in an unstructured way. Here’s a ball, here’s a yard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

OP, with all due respect, I find this whole post a bit off-putting. It sounds like one way or another there's going to be pressure put on your DD, be it academic pressure based on you and your DH's high academic achievements, or in sports. Your DD is 8 years old and it sounds like she's doing fine at soccer for a girl that age, and you also state that she is doing well in school. I know this will likely fall on deaf ears, but please just let her enjoying play sports she likes at her own pace, and exploring academics and learning while she's excelling without parental intervention. Not everything in life is about goals and achievement, especially at age 8, and it sounds like she's on her way to figuring that out.

- A mom who has two sons who are both on high school honor role and play high school sports, but never did travel leagues.

I agree with this. The OP sounds like someone who no matter what their DD does, they will want her to be the best at it as opposed to doing it for the fun of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

OP, with all due respect, I find this whole post a bit off-putting. It sounds like one way or another there's going to be pressure put on your DD, be it academic pressure based on you and your DH's high academic achievements, or in sports. Your DD is 8 years old and it sounds like she's doing fine at soccer for a girl that age, and you also state that she is doing well in school. I know this will likely fall on deaf ears, but please just let her enjoying play sports she likes at her own pace, and exploring academics and learning while she's excelling without parental intervention. Not everything in life is about goals and achievement, especially at age 8, and it sounds like she's on her way to figuring that out.

- A mom who has two sons who are both on high school honor role and play high school sports, but never did travel leagues.

I agree with this. The OP sounds like someone who no matter what their DD does, they will want her to be the best at it as opposed to doing it for the fun of it.

Other than balance, what's missing with these sports/activities, or at least lacking, is fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

OP, with all due respect, I find this whole post a bit off-putting. It sounds like one way or another there's going to be pressure put on your DD, be it academic pressure based on you and your DH's high academic achievements, or in sports. Your DD is 8 years old and it sounds like she's doing fine at soccer for a girl that age, and you also state that she is doing well in school. I know this will likely fall on deaf ears, but please just let her enjoying play sports she likes at her own pace, and exploring academics and learning while she's excelling without parental intervention. Not everything in life is about goals and achievement, especially at age 8, and it sounds like she's on her way to figuring that out.

- A mom who has two sons who are both on high school honor role and play high school sports, but never did travel leagues.

I agree with this. The OP sounds like someone who no matter what their DD does, they will want her to be the best at it as opposed to doing it for the fun of it.

Other than balance, what's missing with these sports/activities, or at least lacking, is fun.

Not just fun but problem solving, creativity, diffusing disagreements. There’s always an adult there smoothing things over. Filling the time. It’s awful really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say I think downtime is bad. But never doing anything structured isn't good either. Just my opinion.

I have two very different kids - oldest is very active and social. Loves organized activities and is into a sport. She will never be a superstar at it unless something changes but she doesn't care. She loves it!!

My youngest is ADHD/ASD. Holding it together at school all day is very hard for him and he needs downtime. So he does a lot less than she does. We still have him in one thing a season because structured social opportunities are vital for him and at his age, a lot of it is life skills - swimming for example.

Why do you think not doing anything structured or organized isn't good? I respect your opinion, but some kids arent joiners.

I think it teaches them to be a part of something, have a commitment to a team/group, explore interests and gain skills. And for kids like my DS, it is almost impossible for him to play unstructured with true peers (for now, he is young) so an art or swim class is a great way for him to interact with kids outside of school in an unstructured setting. Also the reality of our neighborhood and this point in time is the vast majority of elementary kids do some activity so finding those spontaneous playdates on a weeknight is rare. We do a lot of that on weekend afternoons.

What do you mean it’s impossible for him to play in an unstructured way. Here’s a ball, here’s a yard.

If you read the whole thread, he is autistic. He is not capable of sustaining age appropriate play with peers yet. But thanks for questioning me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Advice from the other side- my kids are in high school and college this is what I’ve learned.

1. Sports (especially competitive sports) are the best and easiest way to make sure your child gets the exercise, socialization and screen free time that your kids need. There’s lots of ways to make sure they get all that but having a set schedule and plan is way easier than doing it yourself.

2. The bad stuff about sports (overuse injuries, pressure, stress etc.). Is almost always a product of the parent’s attitude.

3. Sports are an excellent window in your child’s world. You will see how they interact with friends, authority, how they handle stree and even if they have developmental issues.

4. Sports will give you and your child a joint project (ie their sports career) that will deepen your relationship and give you plenty of opportunities to reinforce lessons and values.

5. You may find your best friends on those fields. I have friends from school and work but the guys that I coached with and put together teams with are some of my favorite people.

6. In my experience sports always helped with academics because practices and games structured thier time. Their worst grades always came when they were off-season.

On big caveat- all of this depends on you and your child. If he really is drawn to dance or robotics or something else you should do that thing (in my experience parents have a large roll in determining what there kids are into) also if you can not stand sports it will be miserable for both of you.

Good luck!

All that sounds good, but a kid doesn't need sports for that.

Sports just makes it way easier and more fun. But you can freehand all of that if you want

The above is where the poster gets that ppl think are more fun.

That’s because the poster doesn’t understand that the previously stated caveat extends to this follow up post. This woman is saying “sports” and implying “literally any structured activities that your kids find fun” as opposed to “freehand” which implies mom and dad imposing all of this structure and discipline 100% on their own.

This is obvious. I swear reading comprehension even amongst highly educated adults is abysmal.

If the kids didn't find organized sports or activities fun, would you push them?

Yes. We keep trying activities until they find something that clicks. It ain’t rocket surgery.

Wut is rocket surgery ma am

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Advice from the other side- my kids are in high school and college this is what I’ve learned.

1. Sports (especially competitive sports) are the best and easiest way to make sure your child gets the exercise, socialization and screen free time that your kids need. There’s lots of ways to make sure they get all that but having a set schedule and plan is way easier than doing it yourself.

2. The bad stuff about sports (overuse injuries, pressure, stress etc.). Is almost always a product of the parent’s attitude.

3. Sports are an excellent window in your child’s world. You will see how they interact with friends, authority, how they handle stree and even if they have developmental issues.

4. Sports will give you and your child a joint project (ie their sports career) that will deepen your relationship and give you plenty of opportunities to reinforce lessons and values.

5. You may find your best friends on those fields. I have friends from school and work but the guys that I coached with and put together teams with are some of my favorite people.

6. In my experience sports always helped with academics because practices and games structured thier time. Their worst grades always came when they were off-season.

On big caveat- all of this depends on you and your child. If he really is drawn to dance or robotics or something else you should do that thing (in my experience parents have a large roll in determining what there kids are into) also if you can not stand sports it will be miserable for both of you.

Good luck!

All that sounds good, but a kid doesn't need sports for that.

Sports just makes it way easier and more fun. But you can freehand all of that if you want

The above is where the poster gets that ppl think are more fun.

That’s because the poster doesn’t understand that the previously stated caveat extends to this follow up post. This woman is saying “sports” and implying “literally any structured activities that your kids find fun” as opposed to “freehand” which implies mom and dad imposing all of this structure and discipline 100% on their own.

This is obvious. I swear reading comprehension even amongst highly educated adults is abysmal.

If the kids didn't find organized sports or activities fun, would you push them?

Yes. We keep trying activities until they find something that clicks. It ain’t rocket surgery.

Wut is rocket surgery ma am

It’s a joke, dummy.

[Anonymous]

My answer to the general question is no even before knowing academics come first.

I wonder about the significant time commitment of any heavily coached and structured activity. To push an average child to be a bit better comes at a cost. There would be so little time and space for other brain development at that critical age (think creativity and flexible thinking).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My answer to the general question is no even before knowing academics come first.

I wonder about the significant time commitment of any heavily coached and structured activity. To push an average child to be a bit better comes at a cost. There would be so little time and space for other brain development at that critical age (think creativity and flexible thinking).

I agree with you, academics are important, but so is time to just be a kid. Which, depending on the activity and the intensity is alot harder, time wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer to the general question is no even before knowing academics come first.

I wonder about the significant time commitment of any heavily coached and structured activity. To push an average child to be a bit better comes at a cost. There would be so little time and space for other brain development at that critical age (think creativity and flexible thinking).

I agree with you, academics are important, but so is time to just be a kid. Which, depending on the activity and the intensity is alot harder, time wise.

When an activity is highly structured, kids aren’t being kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer to the general question is no even before knowing academics come first.

I wonder about the significant time commitment of any heavily coached and structured activity. To push an average child to be a bit better comes at a cost. There would be so little time and space for other brain development at that critical age (think creativity and flexible thinking).

I agree with you, academics are important, but so is time to just be a kid. Which, depending on the activity and the intensity is alot harder, time wise.

When an activity is highly structured, kids aren’t being kids.

They are kids, but they don't have as much unstructured, unorganized kid time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer to the general question is no even before knowing academics come first.

I wonder about the significant time commitment of any heavily coached and structured activity. To push an average child to be a bit better comes at a cost. There would be so little time and space for other brain development at that critical age (think creativity and flexible thinking).

I agree with you, academics are important, but so is time to just be a kid. Which, depending on the activity and the intensity is alot harder, time wise.

When an activity is highly structured, kids aren’t being kids.

With school, homework, activities these days, not much time for much else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My answer to the general question is no even before knowing academics come first.

I wonder about the significant time commitment of any heavily coached and structured activity. To push an average child to be a bit better comes at a cost. There would be so little time and space for other brain development at that critical age (think creativity and flexible thinking).

I agree with you, academics are important, but so is time to just be a kid. Which, depending on the activity and the intensity is alot harder, time wise.

When an activity is highly structured, kids aren’t being kids.

With school, homework, activities these days, not much time for much else.

You can replace “activities” with free time. I feel like we are raising a generation of kids who have no problem solving skills, no creativity and no internal drive. It’s really sad.