Are you concerned that your adult children are not yet married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 38-year-old son is still single, and actively looking for a wife. He received his BS degree at the age of 22, MS at 24, and a Ph.D. at 28. He spent the last ten years advancing his career in tech at Apple and Nvidia, and he didn't pay much attention to looking for a wife. He has enough money to generate 3M per year in interest, and never has to work again. However, according to him, it is so much harder now because he will never know if a woman will like him for him or because of his money. He has gone on many dates, and most of the women that he goes out with are either divorced, single mothers, or both, and emotionally damaged. In other words, so much baggage. He said his prospect of finding a wife without baggage is almost slim to none. YMMV.

Guess he should have tried when he was much younger. Likely he wanted women way out of his league in looks and thought he could impress them with wealth.

This is exactly what I thought. So many nerds who think they get a seat at the cool kids table because they have money. Unless your Bezos-level wealthy, that's not happening. You still need to be normal.

3M/yr in interest, assuming a 60M net worth with 5% annual return, is not wealthy? LOL…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews who are well educated and have good jobs, but they are not finding partners to marry.

Why are the parents not worried about it? Why is this happening? These are not young adults children either, these are over 35+ years. As they grow older they are looking less attractive also, and they are dating people with more baggage - divorced people, single parents, not a good match in looks, education, SES, red flags.

When do you think is a good age for your kids to get married? How much HHI do you think they should have?

If they are 35+ they are probably more worried about it than they let on, OP. They just aren't telling you the whole story.

I am sure.
I do want to help more. They have progressively become quieter and sadder and it is breaking my heart and it is making me wonder what obligations the parents or elders have in helping them find partners.

It's not your business. You don't understand boundaries and in no way would you be able to help.

I think this post is more Project 2025 trolling.

One o of the main goals of Project 2025 is that we need more young marriages. They want people to get married as young as possible. It keeps them poor and dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 38-year-old son is still single, and actively looking for a wife. He received his BS degree at the age of 22, MS at 24, and a Ph.D. at 28. He spent the last ten years advancing his career in tech at Apple and Nvidia, and he didn't pay much attention to looking for a wife. He has enough money to generate 3M per year in interest, and never has to work again. However, according to him, it is so much harder now because he will never know if a woman will like him for him or because of his money. He has gone on many dates, and most of the women that he goes out with are either divorced, single mothers, or both, and emotionally damaged. In other words, so much baggage. He said his prospect of finding a wife without baggage is almost slim to none. YMMV.

Guess he should have tried when he was much younger. Likely he wanted women way out of his league in looks and thought he could impress them with wealth.

It's obvious he has baggage himself. PP's attitudes toward women are sickening. She is that mom who thinks no woman is good enough and every woman wants to snare her darling little prize. Reality is probably quite different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want your siblings to “worry” that their - checks notes - 35 year old children are not married?

Your siblings must be around 60 yrs old…you don’t think they have more pressing matters to be worried about?? (Health, meds, parents, retirement, whether to downsize/relocate)…I think you are the only one who wants to worry about their marriage prospects. I feel like I’m in Pride & Prejudice reading this…

In my family - all of my siblings worry about our parents, each other's lives, our extended family (spouse side of the family) and the well being and success of our nieces and nephews. We have been successful only because we all are standing with each other.
And no, they are most unhappy about the fact that their children are not well settled and married.

You are an absolute trip. Tell us about yourself. Background, education etc

[Anonymous]

Among my educated, UMC, immigrant American circle, most marriages are stable, supportive and nurturing.


DCUM crowd seems to lack these traits and relationships seem hostile and disposable.

I wonder if first generation American children would find loyal and loving partners to build nurturing relationships or end up like DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want your siblings to “worry” that their - checks notes - 35 year old children are not married?

Your siblings must be around 60 yrs old…you don’t think they have more pressing matters to be worried about?? (Health, meds, parents, retirement, whether to downsize/relocate)…I think you are the only one who wants to worry about their marriage prospects. I feel like I’m in Pride & Prejudice reading this…

In my family - all of my siblings worry about our parents, each other's lives, our extended family (spouse side of the family) and the well being and success of our nieces and nephews. We have been successful only because we all are standing with each other.
And no, they are most unhappy about the fact that their children are not well settled and married.

Family enmeshment has its pros and cons.

[Anonymous]

OP, is there any chance that your nieces and nephews had to act as caregivers for their parents or siblings? I'm not even 35 yet and an only child and have already had to be caregiver for both of my parents on top of working full-time. My mom is dead now (cancer) and my dad's health issues are thankfully improving, but it really takes a toll in every way. Part of my dad's issues stemmed from my mom's death. The thought of having to take care of a romantic partner or baby makes me want to run for the hills to be blunt and honest. Instead of dreaming about wedding dresses and baby snuggles, I'm fantasizing about girls' nights out and solo trips to Europe to blow off steam from these past few years. I know I sound selfish and shallow, but it's my feelings!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Among my educated, UMC, immigrant American circle, most marriages are stable, supportive and nurturing.


DCUM crowd seems to lack these traits and relationships seem hostile and disposable.

I wonder if first generation American children would find loyal and loving partners to build nurturing relationships or end up like DCUM.

It's my biggest fear too. White multi-generational Anglos do not do this entire marriage thing correctly. They've lost the concept of extended family and are on their way to loose the concept of a nuclear family entirely. I wouldn't want the majority of their lives even if it came with a $50 mil cash prize attached.

Second gen american kids should date each other and avoid the multi-gens like the plague.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews who are well educated and have good jobs, but they are not finding partners to marry.

Why are the parents not worried about it? Why is this happening? These are not young adults children either, these are over 35+ years. As they grow older they are looking less attractive also, and they are dating people with more baggage - divorced people, single parents, not a good match in looks, education, SES, red flags.

When do you think is a good age for your kids to get married? How much HHI do you think they should have?

If they are 35+ they are probably more worried about it than they let on, OP. They just aren't telling you the whole story.

I am sure.
I do want to help more. They have progressively become quieter and sadder and it is breaking my heart and it is making me wonder what obligations the parents or elders have in helping them find partners.

It's not your business. You don't understand boundaries and in no way would you be able to help.

I think this post is more Project 2025 trolling.

One o of the main goals of Project 2025 is that we need more young marriages. They want people to get married as young as possible. It keeps them poor and dumb.

Are you an idiot? I want educated and rich singles to get married. Poor and dumb people can remain single and never procreate. In fact, they can leave USA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 38-year-old son is still single, and actively looking for a wife. He received his BS degree at the age of 22, MS at 24, and a Ph.D. at 28. He spent the last ten years advancing his career in tech at Apple and Nvidia, and he didn't pay much attention to looking for a wife. He has enough money to generate 3M per year in interest, and never has to work again. However, according to him, it is so much harder now because he will never know if a woman will like him for him or because of his money. He has gone on many dates, and most of the women that he goes out with are either divorced, single mothers, or both, and emotionally damaged. In other words, so much baggage. He said his prospect of finding a wife without baggage is almost slim to none. YMMV.

Guess he should have tried when he was much younger. Likely he wanted women way out of his league in looks and thought he could impress them with wealth.

It's obvious he has baggage himself. PP's attitudes toward women are sickening. She is that mom who thinks no woman is good enough and every woman wants to snare her darling little prize. Reality is probably quite different.

Well, no parent wants a gold-digger, failure, uneducated, MAGA type person for their adult child. So, it is good to have standards.

It is ok to hope that young, single, educated, accomplished people from stable, intact, functional families find each other and get married. The idea is to have well matched people from similar SES find each other.

Seriously, no one is worried about the marital status of the trashy hos and pimps y'all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there any chance that your nieces and nephews had to act as caregivers for their parents or siblings? I'm not even 35 yet and an only child and have already had to be caregiver for both of my parents on top of working full-time. My mom is dead now (cancer) and my dad's health issues are thankfully improving, but it really takes a toll in every way. Part of my dad's issues stemmed from my mom's death. The thought of having to take care of a romantic partner or baby makes me want to run for the hills to be blunt and honest. Instead of dreaming about wedding dresses and baby snuggles, I'm fantasizing about girls' nights out and solo trips to Europe to blow off steam from these past few years. I know I sound selfish and shallow, but it's my feelings!

Sigh, I would love for you to meet my handsome single relative and marry him. He is not the caregiver for his parents though he is a very nurturing and compassionate person. Does not hurt that he is also pretty wealthy. He will be a perfect match for any girl who is a kind hearted person. Only thing is that he is a trim and good looking man and he will certainly want to marry someone who is also reasonably fit and good looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want your siblings to “worry” that their - checks notes - 35 year old children are not married?

Your siblings must be around 60 yrs old…you don’t think they have more pressing matters to be worried about?? (Health, meds, parents, retirement, whether to downsize/relocate)…I think you are the only one who wants to worry about their marriage prospects. I feel like I’m in Pride & Prejudice reading this…

In my family - all of my siblings worry about our parents, each other's lives, our extended family (spouse side of the family) and the well being and success of our nieces and nephews. We have been successful only because we all are standing with each other.
And no, they are most unhappy about the fact that their children are not well settled and married.

Family enmeshment has its pros and cons.

Agreed. And we have only seen the pros till now. We all are good at boundaries too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FFS, it is 2025. People do not need to perpetuate out-dated patriarchal culture.

Eh, I'm a feminist, and I still think it's nice to have a partner in life, to enjoy during good times and to support during bad. I have single friends who are getting older, and they are starting to get stressed out about living alone when they get old, etc. and just generally being lonely. People should absolutely not settle, but I don't think it's outdated to want love and companionship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 38-year-old son is still single, and actively looking for a wife. He received his BS degree at the age of 22, MS at 24, and a Ph.D. at 28. He spent the last ten years advancing his career in tech at Apple and Nvidia, and he didn't pay much attention to looking for a wife. He has enough money to generate 3M per year in interest, and never has to work again. However, according to him, it is so much harder now because he will never know if a woman will like him for him or because of his money. He has gone on many dates, and most of the women that he goes out with are either divorced, single mothers, or both, and emotionally damaged. In other words, so much baggage. He said his prospect of finding a wife without baggage is almost slim to none. YMMV.

Something sounds off about your post. There are plenty of solidly educated, professional well-paid, never-married women in their 30s looking to settle down. Like your son, they have been focusing on career, friends, travel, etc., rather than finding prince charming up until this point. These women don’t need a meal ticket, they want an equal partner in terms of salary, which it sounds like your son would be. If your son were dating one of these women, there would be no reason for him to worry about if she were only dating him for his money. Also, at 38, he’s young to feel like he needs to only date, divorced women or single mothers. Something is not adding up with what he is saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is typically a better deal for men. Women can take or leave it.

Not anymore. Its a better deal for people of both genders if they are good partners and lucky enough to find good spouses.

Lies, men always benefit more.

Pendulum is moving and nightmare wives[/[b]b] are also becoming a norm so not a given for men to benefit.

What exactly do you mean by this?