Are you concerned that your adult children are not yet married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews who are well educated and have good jobs, but they are not finding partners to marry.

Why are the parents not worried about it? Why is this happening? These are not young adults children either, these are over 35+ years. As they grow older they are looking less attractive also, and they are dating people with more baggage - divorced people, single parents, not a good match in looks, education, SES, red flags.

When do you think is a good age for your kids to get married? How much HHI do you think they should have?

If they are 35+ they are probably more worried about it than they let on, OP. They just aren't telling you the whole story.

I am sure.
I do want to help more. They have progressively become quieter and sadder and it is breaking my heart and it is making me wonder what obligations the parents or elders have in helping them find partners.

They usually push advice and help away and see it as intrusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is typically a better deal for men. Women can take or leave it.

Not anymore. Its a better deal for people of both genders if they are good partners and lucky enough to find good spouses.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Getting married is not an accomplishment. It is not worth it either. Your spouse will either die or abandon you. I saw it with my parents and both sets of grandparents. You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak when you marry.

Ok. The unstated premise of the OP was a good, strong, functional marriage for life. Of course 50% of all marriages end in divorce, however, the divorce rate among college educated and UMC people are low. So, lets assume that my nieces and nephews are well to do (good career paths), no student debt etc, and college educated. Also assume that they have invested wisely and have house, cars, IRA etc.

Sweetie, you know single people can have all that too, right?

Sweetie, yes, talking about single people only. Single people, well educated, house, cars, IRA etc. But not married and no kids.

Not everyone wants marriage and kids. Being tied down sucks ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is not for everyone. It's optional. Kids are optional.

I agree with this. But, would rather that the uneducated, unhealthy and poor not have more children because they cannot give them a good future in today's world instead of the educated, healthy and not poor.

Even if kids are optional, it is good for people to be in a marriage or be a part of a multi-gen family so that they can be looked after in their old age. After all this country does not have any strong security net left for most people.

Your kids are not your servants! They have no obligation to take care of you. That expectation is really unfair to them.

[Anonymous]

I had a happy marriage until I didn't. Married at 25. Kids in early 30s. Divorced at 42.

Husband was a good partner until he wasnt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews who are well educated and have good jobs, but they are not finding partners to marry.

Why are the parents not worried about it? Why is this happening? These are not young adults children either, these are over 35+ years. As they grow older they are looking less attractive also, and they are dating people with more baggage - divorced people, single parents, not a good match in looks, education, SES, red flags.

When do you think is a good age for your kids to get married? How much HHI do you think they should have?

Imho 25-30 is ideal and $100K HHI is good enough though both should finish undergrad first, marrying while in grad/professional school is fine if one spouse is employed.

+1 You seem to find your best matches in the mid-20s.

+ 1
And frankly even after you find the perfect person, if you are not cohabiting with then, then by the time you figure out the logistics of your wedding, jobs, living situation etc, you can easily spend a year or two in just organizing every thing before you will tie the knot.

No one should marry anyone without cohabiting with them, at least for one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is not for everyone. It's optional. Kids are optional.

I agree with this. But, would rather that the uneducated, unhealthy and poor not have more children because they cannot give them a good future in today's world instead of the educated, healthy and not poor.

Even if kids are optional, it is good for people to be in a marriage or be a part of a multi-gen family so that they can be looked after in their old age. After all this country does not have any strong security net left for most people.

Your kids are not your servants! They have no obligation to take care of you. That expectation is really unfair to them.

They don't need to be servants or caregivers but they can watch out for your interests when you aren't able to do it yourself. Not out of obligation but out of love if it exists.

[Anonymous]

Loneliness pandemic says otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Getting married is not an accomplishment. It is not worth it either. Your spouse will either die or abandon you. I saw it with my parents and both sets of grandparents. You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak when you marry.

It is indeed a risk and more so for people from broken families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS, it is 2025. People do not need to perpetuate out-dated patriarchal culture.

FFS, We have an unelected foreigner (not even a naturalized citizen)President Musk destroying the country. We are even more backwards and outdated than people who lived a century ago.

So, yeah, it is a world dominated with patriarchy and will remain so. And the richest and most democratic country is a communist country.

What? How on earth is this a response to the pp, or on topic at all?

Come on PP. It must be Trump’s fault that the nieces aren’t married 😃

No trump wants to give women fewer options, married with lots of kids. Bye DEI hello poverty and diapers.

As long as he is not grabbing them by their pu$$eees or raping them - I don't care. Frankly Musk and his dad are more scary. Multiple baby mamas and children.

But…he did do that. By his own admission, and by finding of the court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Marriage is not for everyone. It's optional. Kids are optional.

I agree with this. But, would rather that the uneducated, unhealthy and poor not have more children because they cannot give them a good future in today's world instead of the educated, healthy and not poor.

Even if kids are optional, it is good for people to be in a marriage or be a part of a multi-gen family so that they can be looked after in their old age. After all this country does not have any strong security net left for most people.

Your kids are not your servants! They have no obligation to take care of you. That expectation is really unfair to them.

They don't need to be servants or caregivers but they can watch out for your interests when you aren't able to do it yourself. Not out of obligation but out of love if it exists.

+1

[Anonymous]

Find your person in mud 20's, take an year or two to get to know them, don't ignore red flags because you are infatuated with their looks or desperate for the wedding pictures. Older you marry, heavier is your mutual emotional baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a whole bunch of nieces and nephews who are well educated and have good jobs, but they are not finding partners to marry.

Why are the parents not worried about it? Why is this happening? These are not young adults children either, these are over 35+ years. As they grow older they are looking less attractive also, and they are dating people with more baggage - divorced people, single parents, not a good match in looks, education, SES, red flags.

When do you think is a good age for your kids to get married? How much HHI do you think they should have?

Hell no
Women should not be having sex and bringing children into this crap
Women should not allow men to now control them! Project 2025 “ men head of household “.

If my daughters marry I failed if my sons marry right now I failed?

They just fired Nuclear arms guys, they just installed Mr antivax women on anti depressants should go to farms and work the fields .
The US is now owned by Putin if you think your children are safe to marry you a completely useless person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS, it is 2025. People do not need to perpetuate out-dated patriarchal culture.

FFS, We have an unelected foreigner (not even a naturalized citizen)President Musk destroying the country. We are even more backwards and outdated than people who lived a century ago.

So, yeah, it is a world dominated with patriarchy and will remain so. And the richest and most democratic country is a communist country.

What? How on earth is this a response to the pp, or on topic at all?

Come on PP. It must be Trump’s fault that the nieces aren’t married 😃

No trump wants to give women fewer options, married with lots of kids. Bye DEI hello poverty and diapers.

As long as he is not grabbing them by their pu$$eees or raping them - I don't care. Frankly Musk and his dad are more scary. Multiple baby mamas and children.

But…he did do that. By his own admission, and by finding of the court.

I know that. I mean as long as my nieces or other unwilling females do not come near Trump and get harrassed or raped by Trump, I am fine. Hopefully, since he is old and he will die soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FFS, it is 2025. People do not need to perpetuate out-dated patriarchal culture.

FFS, We have an unelected foreigner (not even a naturalized citizen)President Musk destroying the country. We are even more backwards and outdated than people who lived a century ago.

So, yeah, it is a world dominated with patriarchy and will remain so. And the richest and most democratic country is a communist country.

What? How on earth is this a response to the pp, or on topic at all?

Come on PP. It must be Trump’s fault that the nieces aren’t married 😃

No trump wants to give women fewer options, married with lots of kids. Bye DEI hello poverty and diapers.

As long as he is not grabbing them by their pu$$eees or raping them - I don't care. Frankly Musk and his dad are more scary. Multiple baby mamas and children.

But…he did do that. By his own admission, and by finding of the court.

I know that. I mean as long as my nieces or other unwilling females do not come near Trump and get harrassed or raped by Trump, I am fine. Hopefully, since he is old and he will die soon.

As much as I despise Trump, I think JD Vance as President would be even worse.