ED really has to go!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has zero to do with ED, your kid would not be reacting any different with an RD decision to this college. It sounds like she has anxiety and would benefit from some therapy to address that.

This. My kid doesn't even know what ED is.

[Anonymous]

My ds goes to a high FARMS. I think being a high achiever in these schools is very attractive to T20 schools.

Also, many more kids get bad news from their ED notifications than kids who get good news. If you don't get in you are far from alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has zero to do with ED, your kid would not be reacting any different with an RD decision to this college. It sounds like she has anxiety and would benefit from some therapy to address that.

This. My kid doesn't even know what ED is.

Well that’s weird, unless your kid isn’t in high school yet.

My kid may end up not ED’ing (we need merit, and while it’s early still there’s currently no absolute #1 choice), but they are still aware of the option and what it is. You’d have to be under a rock not to have heard about it from a college counselor or friends.

By all means make an informed decision to opt out of the craziness, but a uniformed head-in-the-sand approach isn’t really the best choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This ins't because of ED. If she applied RD she'd feel the same way.

No, it's ED. Kids at our HS are seeing kids get into some of the schools and they are rejected or deferred (where they will probably be rejected). But now they have to wait for the second round of considerations if deferred. And then you're stuck full pay or whatever meager package they give. So ED def benefits those with money.

I say this as someone whose kid is already in college and did so via ED.

My did didn't ED and was in this same boat. Deferred on first set of EAs and had to wait for next set. Sucks but thats just how it is and nothing to do with ED. Tons of waiting around.

[Anonymous]

If she didn't get in, she's in good company.

https://www.dukechronicle.com/article/2024/12/duke-university-early-decision-class-of-2029-12-8-percent-acceptance-rate-increased-applications-admitted-north-carolina-questbridge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teenagers are dramatic. They freak out. That's what they do. An entire system affecting millions of people doesn't need to change just because your Lil' Schmoopsie got upset. She could be happy at dozens of colleges. If she decides that she can ONLY be happy at one, then that's just her poor decision making.

+1000
It's on the parents for not guiding their teenager better. Yes, having a ED1 and ED2 choice is great. But make sure your kid knows they are still lottery (for T25-50) so be realistic and dont' fall massively in love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ED needs to go because it favors the wealthy. Not because kids are falling in love with schools they likely are not getting admitted to.

Anyone can do ED, as long as you are fine with the NPC for that school. If they say "you owe 90K and you are not willing, that is not any fault except your own". You either decide to pay it or say, okay EA/RD it is, we need to search merit. However, for T25 schools, they do NOT give any merit really, so if you can't afford it for ED well nothing is going to change for RD/EA. And if you think you can afford it but don't want to spend that much, then you don't get to play the ED game

[Anonymous]

Blah, blah, blah from the rich person trying to justify her privilege. ED needs to go because of the privilege it affords rich people (the ED admits are definitely lower quality admits). It also shows desperation on the part of the schools. Which is why truly elite schools like Harvard Princeton, Yale, mit, Caltech, Stanford don’t do it.

All of which is irrelevant to OP’s assertion. Her kid is anxious and it sounds like she is, too. None of that is the result of ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. I don’t see where ED is the issue here. Other than perhaps the timing of the notification. I guess?

The challenge with ED is that often kids are only getting one decision during the ED timeframe and then have to wait months for other decisions. While when RD time rolls around, they are hearing from multiple schools so hopefully there is something to be excited about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my DD applied to her dream school. For the past couple of years we've been downplaying this school and hyping up some more reasonable schools. We even toured a few and she claimed how much she liked them. She assured us that she would be fine if she didn't win the ED lottery. Anytime I would mention another school she would quickly shut me down and tell me she has her list and she is good with it.
Part of me always thought she was blowing smoke to get us to back off and i was right.
ED school is announcing today and just got a call from her counselor that she is having a melt down at school triggered by a friend of hers who told her that this school will never accept someone from our high school. Our HS does not have the greatest reputation and although there have been a small handful of kids getting into top 10/Ivy - level schools - its few and far between.
So this comment was the straw that broke her back. The counselor told me that Dd unloaded on her and how hard she has worked (very true) to get straight As and take many AP classes (very true). Our school doesnt rank but she would definitely be top 5. The time she put into her ECs and building relationships with her teachers..... She kept telling me that she was doing all of this because she liked doing this but it turns out, it was because she wants this school this bad.
i am furious at the ED system for the torture this process causes for so many families. I thought it was terrible they announced hen results will come out so everyone can be on pins and needles for days. And why do schools announce before the holidays....similar to how companies announce layoffs before holidays...to ruin them?
And now, with this phone call, I am upset and having trouble focusing on my job.
Yes - I am going off here and mostly because I am her mom and believed her when she said she wouldn't care about not getting into this school. I should have known better.
Counselor said she calmed down and will be staying at school, but I am at a loss as to how to handle this situation when we all get home this afternoon and when we get the decision. This really really sucks.

This has less to do with ED and more to do with bad parenting. If your emotional balance is as your post suggests, you possibly have transmitted this to your DD. Get a grip. Deal with the knocks in life without pointing fingers at others. Take some personal responsibility for your outcomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So my DD applied to her dream school. For the past couple of years we've been downplaying this school and hyping up some more reasonable schools. We even toured a few and she claimed how much she liked them. She assured us that she would be fine if she didn't win the ED lottery. Anytime I would mention another school she would quickly shut me down and tell me she has her list and she is good with it.
Part of me always thought she was blowing smoke to get us to back off and i was right.
ED school is announcing today and just got a call from her counselor that she is having a melt down at school triggered by a friend of hers who told her that this school will never accept someone from our high school. Our HS does not have the greatest reputation and although there have been a small handful of kids getting into top 10/Ivy - level schools - its few and far between.
So this comment was the straw that broke her back. The counselor told me that Dd unloaded on her and how hard she has worked (very true) to get straight As and take many AP classes (very true). Our school doesnt rank but she would definitely be top 5. The time she put into her ECs and building relationships with her teachers..... She kept telling me that she was doing all of this because she liked doing this but it turns out, it was because she wants this school this bad.
i am furious at the ED system for the torture this process causes for so many families. I thought it was terrible they announced hen results will come out so everyone can be on pins and needles for days. And why do schools announce before the holidays....similar to how companies announce layoffs before holidays...to ruin them?
And now, with this phone call, I am upset and having trouble focusing on my job.
Yes - I am going off here and mostly because I am her mom and believed her when she said she wouldn't care about not getting into this school. I should have known better.
Counselor said she calmed down and will be staying at school, but I am at a loss as to how to handle this situation when we all get home this afternoon and when we get the decision. This really really sucks.

Is this a private school? Curious which school would "not have a great reputation" and "noone gets into that college"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that this is an ED issue. Yes, she would be very bummed RD, but she'd have other schools sending news simultaneously. She'd be able to pivot much more quickly. ED rejections make kids wallow in the disappointment for months.

Nah. So many schools have EA now that many kids are getting multiple decisions in December. My kid got two acceptances the week after his ED rejection last year.

What schools are these? All the EA schools to which DS applied had notification dates in late January (which I thought was useless because you want to know the EA outcomes before you apply RD).

[Anonymous]

I feel like OP would have come back to post if her DD had gotten in.

[Anonymous]

Erectile dysfunction?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has zero to do with ED, your kid would not be reacting any different with an RD decision to this college. It sounds like she has anxiety and would benefit from some therapy to address that.

This. My kid doesn't even know what ED is.

Um