ED really has to go!

[Anonymous]

So my DD applied to her dream school. For the past couple of years we've been downplaying this school and hyping up some more reasonable schools. We even toured a few and she claimed how much she liked them. She assured us that she would be fine if she didn't win the ED lottery. Anytime I would mention another school she would quickly shut me down and tell me she has her list and she is good with it.
Part of me always thought she was blowing smoke to get us to back off and i was right.
ED school is announcing today and just got a call from her counselor that she is having a melt down at school triggered by a friend of hers who told her that this school will never accept someone from our high school. Our HS does not have the greatest reputation and although there have been a small handful of kids getting into top 10/Ivy - level schools - its few and far between.
So this comment was the straw that broke her back. The counselor told me that Dd unloaded on her and how hard she has worked (very true) to get straight As and take many AP classes (very true). Our school doesnt rank but she would definitely be top 5. The time she put into her ECs and building relationships with her teachers..... She kept telling me that she was doing all of this because she liked doing this but it turns out, it was because she wants this school this bad.
i am furious at the ED system for the torture this process causes for so many families. I thought it was terrible they announced hen results will come out so everyone can be on pins and needles for days. And why do schools announce before the holidays....similar to how companies announce layoffs before holidays...to ruin them?
And now, with this phone call, I am upset and having trouble focusing on my job.
Yes - I am going off here and mostly because I am her mom and believed her when she said she wouldn't care about not getting into this school. I should have known better.
Counselor said she calmed down and will be staying at school, but I am at a loss as to how to handle this situation when we all get home this afternoon and when we get the decision. This really really sucks.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure the fault lies with ED here. Sounds like your daughter got herself a little wrapped around the axle and would be that way regardless of whether ED was an option.

[Anonymous]

This has zero to do with ED, your kid would not be reacting any different with an RD decision to this college. It sounds like she has anxiety and would benefit from some therapy to address that.

[Anonymous]

This ins't because of ED. If she applied RD she'd feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the issue is with your daughter’s anxiety over the process and not with the actual process. I would suggest getting her to some therapy so she can learn to handle these big emotions because as we all know, it’s gonna get even harder the older she gets and especially in college.

[Anonymous]

Agree. I don’t see where ED is the issue here. Other than perhaps the timing of the notification. I guess?

[Anonymous]

Yet another reason to sigh with relief when your high school freshman gets a C.

[Anonymous]

The worse the high school’s performance, the better your DD’s chances will be.

[Anonymous]

Agree I don’t know that ED is the problem. If anything, it should improve her chances at this school because they know she really wants to be there. That said, I agree 100% rang this high pressure notion that any one school is the only and true best option is something we need to get away from. There are so many schools where any student would thrive. Sorry this is such a challenging time for your daughter.

[Anonymous]

100% agree. Stupid autocorrect

[Anonymous]

They announce before the holidays so that you have a decision before RD applications are due in early January. It is great if you get in, and gives you time if you don't.

[Anonymous]

Exactly, this is not an ED issue. Best of luck to your DD though.

[Anonymous]

It is a double edge sword. If she gets in, you and your daughter will think ED is the greatest thing because it gives her better odds to get in.

[Anonymous]

I am sorry OP, but this is on you as a parent. You failed to get through to your child that if she does not get into this school the world will not end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The worse the high school’s performance, the better your DD’s chances will be.

+1. My kids go to a high school this board uses as an example of bad public schools. At least a couple of ivy admits every year