DH Was Called a 'Twink'

[Anonymous]

They have Gaydar and know he is curious

[Anonymous]

I recently completed my firm's sexual harassment training that this 100% fits into the category of: discuss with HR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My straight, white, moderate DH works in an extremely diverse office space. Half the employees are POC, a solid third are gay. He has taken plenty of friendly ribbing for the last two years, but on Friday and yesterday one gay male manager (who is a known bully) referred to my DH as a twink. For those not in on gay slang it is a derisive term to describe smaller, clean cut men. Sometimes it is used as a term of sexual interest akin to calling a woman a sexpot. Either way it is wholly offensive.

Does he have a sexual harassment claim?

Employment lawyer here- no. I would, however, seeking to diffuse the matter at the lowest possible level, speak with him privately and tell him that you find the term offensive and to please call you ‘Bob’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My straight, white, moderate DH works in an extremely diverse office space. Half the employees are POC, a solid third are gay. He has taken plenty of friendly ribbing for the last two years, but on Friday and yesterday one gay male manager (who is a known bully) referred to my DH as a twink. For those not in on gay slang it is a derisive term to describe smaller, clean cut men. Sometimes it is used as a term of sexual interest akin to calling a woman a sexpot. Either way it is wholly offensive.

Does he have a sexual harassment claim?

Employment lawyer here- no. I would, however, seeking to diffuse the matter at the lowest possible level, speak with him privately and tell him that you find the term offensive and to please call you ‘Bob’.

Another lawyer here:

While the pp’s advice is the standard guidance in all the mandatory training we’ve all received at work, the reality is a private sidebar where one guy tells a guy in a protected class to cut out the offensive behavior could quickly prompt the name caller to go to HR and claim he was offended.

If it were me, I would want a witness—ideally someone who would have my back and confirm I was calm and polite when I asked the name caller to avoid using that word, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My straight, white, moderate DH works in an extremely diverse office space. Half the employees are POC, a solid third are gay. He has taken plenty of friendly ribbing for the last two years, but on Friday and yesterday one gay male manager (who is a known bully) referred to my DH as a twink. For those not in on gay slang it is a derisive term to describe smaller, clean cut men. Sometimes it is used as a term of sexual interest akin to calling a woman a sexpot. Either way it is wholly offensive.

Does he have a sexual harassment claim?

Employment lawyer here- no. I would, however, seeking to diffuse the matter at the lowest possible level, speak with him privately and tell him that you find the term offensive and to please call you ‘Bob’.

Another lawyer here:

While the pp’s advice is the standard guidance in all the mandatory training we’ve all received at work, the reality is a private sidebar where one guy tells a guy in a protected class to cut out the offensive behavior could quickly prompt the name caller to go to HR and claim he was offended.

If it were me, I would want a witness—ideally someone who would have my back and confirm I was calm and polite when I asked the name caller to avoid using that word, etc.

That’s over cautious when the person in a protected class called the other a twink! Just document.

[Anonymous]

The demographic mix of this office sounds like it’s a perfect place for all sorts of HR lawsuits waiting to happen. Tell husband to gtfo.

[Anonymous]

I find this story hard to swallow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My straight, white, moderate DH works in an extremely diverse office space. Half the employees are POC, a solid third are gay. He has taken plenty of friendly ribbing for the last two years, but on Friday and yesterday one gay male manager (who is a known bully) referred to my DH as a twink. For those not in on gay slang it is a derisive term to describe smaller, clean cut men. Sometimes it is used as a term of sexual interest akin to calling a woman a sexpot. Either way it is wholly offensive.

Does he have a sexual harassment claim?

Oh come one now..perhaps your DH needs to work on his charisma. Not a big deal. He can privately tell the person who called him a twink that he doesn't appreciate that. In moat cases that's enough for the offense to stop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gays cannot say whatever they want just because they're gay . Sexual harassment rules apply to them too, as well as everyone else. No one is exempt from the rules.

That’s not how they behave in the work place

Once too many of them are in one place, they terrorize institutions

People seem to think gay men in professional settings are all Pete Buttigieg

I assure you, Pete is a massive outlier

In fact, gays don’t even like Pete that much because Pete doesn’t exude “queen energy”

You clearly have not worked with a lotta gays

OP’s husband needs to look for a new job asap

[Anonymous]

This is the kind of trolling that I come on here for!

[Anonymous]

Adverse action not required for sex discrimination. Yes, he has a claim

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Adverse action not required for sex discrimination. Yes, he has a claim

No he doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My straight, white, moderate DH works in an extremely diverse office space. Half the employees are POC, a solid third are gay. He has taken plenty of friendly ribbing for the last two years, but on Friday and yesterday one gay male manager (who is a known bully) referred to my DH as a twink. For those not in on gay slang it is a derisive term to describe smaller, clean cut men. Sometimes it is used as a term of sexual interest akin to calling a woman a sexpot. Either way it is wholly offensive.

Does he have a sexual harassment claim?

Employment lawyer here- no. I would, however, seeking to diffuse the matter at the lowest possible level, speak with him privately and tell him that you find the term offensive and to please call you ‘Bob’.

Another lawyer here:

While the pp’s advice is the standard guidance in all the mandatory training we’ve all received at work, the reality is a private sidebar where one guy tells a guy in a protected class to cut out the offensive behavior could quickly prompt the name caller to go to HR and claim he was offended.

If it were me, I would want a witness—ideally someone who would have my back and confirm I was calm and polite when I asked the name caller to avoid using that word, etc.

That’s over cautious when the person in a protected class called the other a twink! Just document.

It is NOT over cautious. Do not ask me how I know. Always document, always have a witness or multiple witnesses.

[Anonymous]

Timothée Chalamet is the most famous twink currently.

[Anonymous]

Is Twinkee ok