Reply to DH Was Called a 'Twink'

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My straight, white, moderate DH works in an extremely diverse office space. Half the employees are POC, a solid third are gay. He has taken plenty of friendly ribbing for the last two years, but on Friday and yesterday one gay male manager (who is a known bully) referred to my DH as a twink. For those not in on gay slang it is a derisive term to describe smaller, clean cut men. Sometimes it is used as a term of sexual interest akin to calling a woman a sexpot. Either way it is wholly offensive.

Does he have a sexual harassment claim?

[/quote]

Employment lawyer here- no. I would, however, seeking to diffuse the matter at the lowest possible level, speak with him privately and tell him that you find the term offensive and to please call you ‘Bob’.[/quote]

Another lawyer here:

While the pp’s advice is the standard guidance in all the mandatory training we’ve all received at work, the reality is a private sidebar where one guy tells a guy in a protected class to cut out the offensive behavior could quickly prompt the name caller to go to HR and claim he was offended.

If it were me, I would want a witness—ideally someone who would have my back and confirm I was calm and polite when I asked the name caller to avoid using that word, etc. [/quote]

That’s over cautious when the person in a protected class called the other a twink! Just document.[/quote]

It is NOT over cautious.  Do not ask me how I know. Always document, always have a witness or multiple witnesses.  [/quote]

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