Are sleepovers really not a thing anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to think the people who push really hard for sleep overs are sort of nefarious. Why do you need access to other people's kids?!

No, it’s just people who remember them fondly and support that for their kids. It was a really big part of 80s/90s culture. Even my parents, who were extremely overprotective when I was a teen, let me go to basically random people’s houses for slumber parties. I would never do that. I also don’t enjoy the crabby child I need to deal with post sleepover. But I get why other parents like the idea.

[Anonymous]

My middle schooler is all about sleepovers. Most of her friends group is allowed but one kid doesn't like them and another isn't allowed to stay the night but she will come over in the morning to hang out or hang out in the evening until her parents pick her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious what percentage of the “nos” are girl parents. Are people allowing boy sleepovers?

Yes, I have a 10 year old boy and he has gone to a couple of sleepovers this year. Just him and the host kid, not big parties.

[Anonymous]

We have some friends who are very into sleepovers. We have done them but I'm not a fan. Everyone is very tired the next day, I think it creates an environment where I kind behavior can flourish because they are socializing with low supervision for a long period of time, and yes I do worry about creeps or simply giving other adults access to my kids overnight. I would much rather host them, which I realize is a little hypocritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.

As a teen I assume you chose your friends. You chose friends who liked to hang out all night with men. At this age you didn’t have to be friends with those kind of girls, you chose it. How is that trauma?

Hopefully you’ve been able to provide your kids a better standard of living where homes aren’t dirty with bugs and where everyone smokes.

Are you kidding me? The two girls who I am referrring to were nice little church girls and seemed to be so tame. I slept over the one time and I quickly learned they are Dr.Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde and their parents worked nights and left at 10 pm. I was dropped off at 6p. Once the parent left, these dudes showed up with cars and said let's roll. I was completely stunned and not prepared. I did not know what to do and was only 14 years old. I knew these girls from church and was flabbergasted as to how they were outside of church and the youth group for the other girl. Seh turned out to be a closet lesbian and tried to do devious things to me. SCARY! In both instances, I ran to a gas station for the one who was all over towns, and I ran next door to a neighbor in the middle of the night to escape roving hands closet lesbian church girl.

Now, the roach and nasty people I had no say in the matter. They were friends of my Mom's and the MOm asked if I can sleepover and my Mom had a party to go to so she said yes.

If you had any reading comprehension you would see that I said I would absolutely never have my kids go to a sleepover. I do not even let them play at anyone's house unsupervised. And, yes, I am OCD clean and like it that way. No go bug off and evaluate someone else's trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to think the people who push really hard for sleep overs are sort of nefarious. Why do you need access to other people's kids?!

No, it’s just people who remember them fondly and support that for their kids. It was a really big part of 80s/90s culture. Even my parents, who were extremely overprotective when I was a teen, let me go to basically random people’s houses for slumber parties. I would never do that. I also don’t enjoy the crabby child I need to deal with post sleepover. But I get why other parents like the idea.

It’s still part of life for many. There’s always been kids who don’t get to sleep over.

[Anonymous]

Yikes no way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to think the people who push really hard for sleep overs are sort of nefarious. Why do you need access to other people's kids?!

No, it’s just people who remember them fondly and support that for their kids. It was a really big part of 80s/90s culture. Even my parents, who were extremely overprotective when I was a teen, let me go to basically random people’s houses for slumber parties. I would never do that. I also don’t enjoy the crabby child I need to deal with post sleepover. But I get why other parents like the idea.

I agree with this but have also found that the people who like them fall into one of two categories: parents of only children who want them to have the experience of overnights with a same-aged kid (I get this) or people with fairly low standard for supervision who see it as an opportunity to have their kids entertained and get a break. The second category I am basically never letting host my kids. I don't trust people like that to supervise adequately when kids are little like mine are now and I DEFINITELY won't trust them when their kids are old enough to sneak out and drink or hook up. The one family I am thinking of has too many kids, a mean dog, and a DH with a drinking problem. Hell no I'm not giving you overnight access to my 8 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm starting to think the people who push really hard for sleep overs are sort of nefarious. Why do you need access to other people's kids?!

No, it’s just people who remember them fondly and support that for their kids. It was a really big part of 80s/90s culture. Even my parents, who were extremely overprotective when I was a teen, let me go to basically random people’s houses for slumber parties. I would never do that. I also don’t enjoy the crabby child I need to deal with post sleepover. But I get why other parents like the idea.

I agree with this but have also found that the people who like them fall into one of two categories: parents of only children who want them to have the experience of overnights with a same-aged kid (I get this) or people with fairly low standard for supervision who see it as an opportunity to have their kids entertained and get a break. The second category I am basically never letting host my kids. I don't trust people like that to supervise adequately when kids are little like mine are now and I DEFINITELY won't trust them when their kids are old enough to sneak out and drink or hook up. The one family I am thinking of has too many kids, a mean dog, and a DH with a drinking problem. Hell no I'm not giving you overnight access to my 8 year old.

They sound awful. Why do you allow your kid to even be friends with someone from that kind of family?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH will absolutely not allow our children to sleepover anywhere, including extended family’s homes. He was raised in extremely impoverished conditions and thinks it’s such an unnecessary risk to put on your children for very little payoff.

Genuine question, not trying to be snotty. What does DH’s impoverished background have to do with his stance on sleepovers?

His childhood was spent in a bad neighborhood with a lot of crime and absent parents. He went to sleepovers and was definitely exposed to things children should not be.

What was he exposed to at sleepovers that he didn’t see in his everyday impoverished life? And if he saw bad things because he lived in a bad neighborhood what does that have to do with his children sleeping over a friend’s house?

Omg were you dropped on the head as a baby or are you just dumb? Do you understand sleepovers occur at night in another person’s home, not at the corner bodega at 11 am on a Tuesday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My kids are 6 and 8 (boys) and haven't been invited to sleep over yet except with their cousins, which we allow. Otherwise they've received no sleepover invitations, which is fine with me. I think they're a bit young.

They are very young for sleepovers. Mine started with sleepovers with cousins too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.

As a teen I assume you chose your friends. You chose friends who liked to hang out all night with men. At this age you didn’t have to be friends with those kind of girls, you chose it. How is that trauma?

Hopefully you’ve been able to provide your kids a better standard of living where homes aren’t dirty with bugs and where everyone smokes.

Are you kidding me? The two girls who I am referrring to were nice little church girls and seemed to be so tame. I slept over the one time and I quickly learned they are Dr.Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde and their parents worked nights and left at 10 pm. I was dropped off at 6p. Once the parent left, these dudes showed up with cars and said let's roll. I was completely stunned and not prepared. I did not know what to do and was only 14 years old. I knew these girls from church and was flabbergasted as to how they were outside of church and the youth group for the other girl. Seh turned out to be a closet lesbian and tried to do devious things to me. SCARY! In both instances, I ran to a gas station for the one who was all over towns, and I ran next door to a neighbor in the middle of the night to escape roving hands closet lesbian church girl.

Now, the roach and nasty people I had no say in the matter. They were friends of my Mom's and the MOm asked if I can sleepover and my Mom had a party to go to so she said yes.

If you had any reading comprehension you would see that I said I would absolutely never have my kids go to a sleepover. I do not even let them play at anyone's house unsupervised. And, yes, I am OCD clean and like it that way. No go bug off and evaluate someone else's trauma.

I wouldn’t assume someone who goes to church is automatically “nice” as you wrote. By the teen years kids have usually found like minded kids to be friends with so your surprise that your church friends liked men and now you have added one of them was a “closeted lesbian” shouldn’t have been surprising to you.

It’s not your fault your mother was friends with dirty people who filled the house with smoke. Are you repeating the same mistakes? If not and you live in a better neighborhood and have better friends then your kids won’t be repeating your bad experiences. Hopefully you’re doing a better job than your parents and their church friends.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, if your child can't do an occasional sleepover because they're so busy, then your child is overscheduled.

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers are fine and fun. But, I can't believe ppl have such busy weeks that kids need to be picked up early or not... my childhood weekends were never this busy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if your child can't do an occasional sleepover because they're so busy, then your child is overscheduled.

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers are fine and fun. But, I can't believe ppl have such busy weeks that kids need to be picked up early or not... my childhood weekends were never this busy.

Its not over scheduling its just priorities. I dont want my kid sleeping at other people's houses. I want him to be able to participate in activities he enjoys and to compete at a high level for his favorite sport. It doesn't bother me in the least that almost all of our weekends are busy. He is happier and healthier being part of multiple teams and activities than he would be staying awake all night in your basement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, if your child can't do an occasional sleepover because they're so busy, then your child is overscheduled.

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers are fine and fun. But, I can't believe ppl have such busy weeks that kids need to be picked up early or not... my childhood weekends were never this busy.

+1 extracurriculars aren't worth it, if your child misses out on other childhood things