Are sleepovers really not a thing anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH will absolutely not allow our children to sleepover anywhere, including extended family’s homes. He was raised in extremely impoverished conditions and thinks it’s such an unnecessary risk to put on your children for very little payoff.

Genuine question, not trying to be snotty. What does DH’s impoverished background have to do with his stance on sleepovers?

His childhood was spent in a bad neighborhood with a lot of crime and absent parents. He went to sleepovers and was definitely exposed to things children should not be.

What was he exposed to at sleepovers that he didn’t see in his everyday impoverished life? And if he saw bad things because he lived in a bad neighborhood what does that have to do with his children sleeping over a friend’s house?

[Anonymous]

We definitely do not do sleepovers.

Sleep unders are perfect. All the fun parts of the sleepover with much less risk and the kids can actually sleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In many social circles, sleepovers have gone the way of prank calls. It's something fun you did as a kid, but now you know better and technology changes have made everything very very different from when you were a kid.

Excellent point.

If I knew the parents very well and knew they had no electronics and that they could put their foot down and get the kids to sleep, I would. My 9 year old boy hasn’t received any invites for sleepovers so far though. If I were hosting, it would be lights out, quiet and open door by 10 and hopefully they’d be asleep by 10:30, or I’d move the guest to the guest room so they could sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter wants to have a sleepover with 5 friends for her birthday coming up (turning 9, friends are 8-9). I’ve already talked with the mom of her best friend and that mom said no to sleeping over. I’ll offer to do a sleep under I guess but are sleepovers really not a thing? I remember doing them much earlier growing up.

Should we scrap the sleepover plan and do something else?

My kids do sleepovers, both at our home and at their friends houses, nbd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter wants to have a sleepover with 5 friends for her birthday coming up (turning 9, friends are 8-9). I’ve already talked with the mom of her best friend and that mom said no to sleeping over. I’ll offer to do a sleep under I guess but are sleepovers really not a thing? I remember doing them much earlier growing up.

Should we scrap the sleepover plan and do something else?

My kids do sleepovers, both at our home and at their friends houses, nbd

Same. Everyone is asleep before 11. Nobody is a wreck the next day. They all have fun watching movies and eating popcorn after dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In many social circles, sleepovers have gone the way of prank calls. It's something fun you did as a kid, but now you know better and technology changes have made everything very very different from when you were a kid.

Agree completely. I’m a PP that mentioned enjoying them as a child, but times are different. We also enjoyed prank calls from random numbers out of the phone book.

[Anonymous]

They are definitely an occasional thing with our suburban ES and MS kids (I only know one family who doesn’t allow them at all). A kid with an early something the following morning might get picked up late and yes, even come back for breakfast the next morning.

At our house, we make it clear that screens end by midnight, so they chat for a bit, then end up getting a reasonable amount of sleep.

[Anonymous]

Yes scrap it. No one wants to leave their kid overnight. Especially if you are not close to the other family for obvious reasons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH will absolutely not allow our children to sleepover anywhere, including extended family’s homes. He was raised in extremely impoverished conditions and thinks it’s such an unnecessary risk to put on your children for very little payoff.

Genuine question, not trying to be snotty. What does DH’s impoverished background have to do with his stance on sleepovers?

His childhood was spent in a bad neighborhood with a lot of crime and absent parents. He went to sleepovers and was definitely exposed to things children should not be.

What was he exposed to at sleepovers that he didn’t see in his everyday impoverished life? And if he saw bad things because he lived in a bad neighborhood what does that have to do with his children sleeping over a friend’s house?

I'm not op but really? You can't think of anything that a child might be exposed to in a bad neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

I think 5 8-9 year olds is young. We started doing sleepover parties around 10. we always off a 'sleep under' option which is a 10pm pick up and you can drop your kid back off at my house the next morning for breakfast in PJs from 8-10am. We live in a small neighborhood where everyone is just 1-2 miles away, the morning re-drop off option is always a hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes scrap it. No one wants to leave their kid overnight. Especially if you are not close to the other family for obvious reasons

Speak for yourself. I can understand people delaying sleeping over until middle school or even high school, especially if you’re a fearful type of person. But to ban them completely is over the top controlling and suffocating. These kids will go from being over protected to being on their own in a college dorm or just being out on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are definitely an occasional thing with our suburban ES and MS kids (I only know one family who doesn’t allow them at all). A kid with an early something the following morning might get picked up late and yes, even come back for breakfast the next morning.

At our house, we make it clear that screens end by midnight, so they chat for a bit, then end up getting a reasonable amount of sleep.

That doesn't sound like a reasonable amount of sleep to me. My kids are usually in bed by 9:30. Even the 13 year old.

[Anonymous]

I have two kids, the older has been invited to a sleepover once, but wasn't able to spend the night due to a 9am basketball game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are definitely an occasional thing with our suburban ES and MS kids (I only know one family who doesn’t allow them at all). A kid with an early something the following morning might get picked up late and yes, even come back for breakfast the next morning.

At our house, we make it clear that screens end by midnight, so they chat for a bit, then end up getting a reasonable amount of sleep.

That doesn't sound like a reasonable amount of sleep to me. My kids are usually in bed by 9:30. Even the 13 year old.

Under normal circumstances, so are mine (9-9:30). With a sleepover, they end up sleeping until 7:30-8am, so not their normal amount, but enough that a single night doesn’t make them a wreck the following day. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I am still traumatized by the sleepovers I went to as a kid. Some of them had older brothers and fathers who were "weird" and creepy. I did not feel safe. One house was full of smokers and was dirty and had roaches. When I got to be a teen, it was a whole new level of trauma as my sweet "friends" knew older boys or men with cars and had us out and around town all night and we ended up in precarious situations.
When I was a kid, my parents often sent me to sleepovers so they could go to adult parties or out on the town. I had no say in the matter.

I refuse to allow my daughters to go to sleepovers.