So frustrated husband refuses to go in cub scouts trip and I’m pregnant

[Anonymous]

NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

There are no consequences besides leaving him; you just don’t want to hear that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

There’s nothing really to say to a woman who keeps having sex with such a loser and then whining about the consequences.

[Anonymous]

I think we would have much less anxiety and depression if people did value relaxing and downtime rather than the belief that if you aren’t rushing around nonstop and too busy to eat or sleep…then you are lazy.


+1000

Folks are constantly complaining about how exhausting modern parenting is and how stressed everyone is but they insist on doing the same thing

I was an over scheduled kid and didn’t like it. We are fairly laid back parents, perhaps should have pushed our kids more to stick with activities. They are now 12 and 14 and they have activities (dance and martial arts) but no sports. Their weekends are fairly relaxed. All that being said, DH would have absolutely taken our son on scouts (and he hates scouts) because he cares about me. OP, I’m sorry that your DH is a disappointing parent and partner. I don’t think he’s going to handle the added stress of another child well. What can you do to mitigate things? Do you work? Can you be near family?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless you signed DS up for scouts over DH’s objections or DH has something else very important to do, he sucks. Isn’t it mostly dads going anyway? I think my own DH would embarrassed NOT to attend and even worse- to send his pregnant wife instead…that looks really bad. That is verging into mega-jerk territory. It would be equivalent to sending him to a big mother daughter event with DD while you sit at home and relax, for no apparent reason. Lame.

I’d tell DS you can’t manage due to your pregnancy, and unless dad can take him- he unfortunately cannot attend. Maybe next year. What a lazy arse your DH is.

Op here. Thanks. And to all the women who are asking why I am pregnant that isn’t helpful. A lot of you have presumably been pregnant and know how bad stress is but yet you’re trying to make me feel bad. That’s just really a sh** way to treat another person. Shame on you. You have to be pretty miserable person to insult a stranger online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

She needs to go away for a three day weekend and have him care for the kid the entire time.

[Anonymous]

What a jerk. If you came alone with your kid and pregnant to an overnight camp with our pack, the 5th graders would have carried your things and a dad would have set up your tent for you. I am sorry that your husband is so selfish but also that your fellow scout parents aren’t observant enough to realize you are struggling and pitching in to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

One idea is for OP to go to these things and then come back and gush over the amazing dads. “Oh it was such a fun camping trip. Larlo’s dad taught the kids how to start a fire and make s’mores and Billy’s dad told all the kids the best ghost stories at night. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do the group hike because the trail wasn’t safe for pregnant women, but luckily Jimmy’s dad stepped up and took DS along so he wouldn’t be left out.” Take lots of photos including DS with a group of other involved hands on dads. Try to subtly shame him by highlighting all the things good fathers do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for you OP. And it’s only going to get worse with three. Yet another reason why being a SAHM is a bad idea.

Did OP say she is SAHM?

OP, where is your other child this weekend? Do you have any family in US?

[Anonymous]

Do you have to pee in the woods? If so, i give you permission to go home and kill him after the trip.

[Anonymous]

I’m a mom that had a son in sub scouts for 5 years. In our troop, we camped twice a year and at least one parent required to attend. My husband hates camping so I almost always went but he went once when I had a conflict and there was once or twice my son just didn’t go.
Clearly you should not go — with pelvic girdle pain and some risk factors you should not be camping. (Odds are another dad would step up to set the tent up for you, but still….). Tell your husband that he can step up or son can skip. This will probably mean kid skips it. It won’t be the end of the world but, yeah, it’s too bad. Cub scouts really is the easiest way to camp because they make all the reservations, plan the activities and someone else cooks for you. You just show up and set up your tent and make sure your kid pees before bed. Personally I loved it and the dads were always really nice. (For Pp that suggested talking up the other dads, that never worked for me — my husband was oblivious.). Once they hit 6th grade, parents aren’t expected to go.

[Anonymous]

I’m amazed a boy scout camp site has such amazing cell reception for updating everyone. The ones I’ve been to were pretty remote. Also isn’t the point to be spending 1:1 time with your son? Not griping to strangers about your husband to strangers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom that had a son in sub scouts for 5 years. In our troop, we camped twice a year and at least one parent required to attend. My husband hates camping so I almost always went but he went once when I had a conflict and there was once or twice my son just didn’t go.
Clearly you should not go — with pelvic girdle pain and some risk factors you should not be camping. (Odds are another dad would step up to set the tent up for you, but still….). Tell your husband that he can step up or son can skip. This will probably mean kid skips it. It won’t be the end of the world but, yeah, it’s too bad. Cub scouts really is the easiest way to camp because they make all the reservations, plan the activities and someone else cooks for you. You just show up and set up your tent and make sure your kid pees before bed. Personally I loved it and the dads were always really nice. (For Pp that suggested talking up the other dads, that never worked for me — my husband was oblivious.). Once they hit 6th grade, parents aren’t expected to go.

OP isn’t even in a tent. It’s a cabin. Not exactly the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you signed DS up for scouts over DH’s objections or DH has something else very important to do, he sucks. Isn’t it mostly dads going anyway? I think my own DH would embarrassed NOT to attend and even worse- to send his pregnant wife instead…that looks really bad. That is verging into mega-jerk territory. It would be equivalent to sending him to a big mother daughter event with DD while you sit at home and relax, for no apparent reason. Lame.

I’d tell DS you can’t manage due to your pregnancy, and unless dad can take him- he unfortunately cannot attend. Maybe next year. What a lazy arse your DH is.

Op here. Thanks. And to all the women who are asking why I am pregnant that isn’t helpful. A lot of you have presumably been pregnant and know how bad stress is but yet you’re trying to make me feel bad. That’s just really a sh** way to treat another person. Shame on you. You have to be pretty miserable person to insult a stranger online.

LOL. Lady- your a$$ is losing the argument, don't try and call time out. You wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is apparently heavily pregnant so I don't see the point in all "why are you having a kid with him" tut tutting.

Ok, it's still a fair and valid question and something for her to reflect on nonetheless.