So frustrated husband refuses to go in cub scouts trip and I’m pregnant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

She needs to go away for a three day weekend and have him care for the kid the entire time.

Three days is too short - POS DH can put everything on hold, not run a single load of laundry, not drive the kid anywhere, and feed the kid shit for three days. She needs to go for three weeks.

OP, you need to go somewhere for three weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

One idea is for OP to go to these things and then come back and gush over the amazing dads. “Oh it was such a fun camping trip. Larlo’s dad taught the kids how to start a fire and make s’mores and Billy’s dad told all the kids the best ghost stories at night. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do the group hike because the trail wasn’t safe for pregnant women, but luckily Jimmy’s dad stepped up and took DS along so he wouldn’t be left out.” Take lots of photos including DS with a group of other involved hands on dads. Try to subtly shame him by highlighting all the things good fathers do.

YES!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom that had a son in sub scouts for 5 years. In our troop, we camped twice a year and at least one parent required to attend. My husband hates camping so I almost always went but he went once when I had a conflict and there was once or twice my son just didn’t go.
Clearly you should not go — with pelvic girdle pain and some risk factors you should not be camping. (Odds are another dad would step up to set the tent up for you, but still….). Tell your husband that he can step up or son can skip. This will probably mean kid skips it. It won’t be the end of the world but, yeah, it’s too bad. Cub scouts really is the easiest way to camp because they make all the reservations, plan the activities and someone else cooks for you. You just show up and set up your tent and make sure your kid pees before bed. Personally I loved it and the dads were always really nice. (For Pp that suggested talking up the other dads, that never worked for me — my husband was oblivious.). Once they hit 6th grade, parents aren’t expected to go.

+ 1. Great post.

- Quartermaster of a close in Troop, T-XXXX

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Liking or willing to go camping is not a redeeming quality.

More of you need to become better people with a broader view of what might make a good parent.

so obtuse. I don't think OP likes camping, either, but since their kid is in the Scouts, and they are camping, and I'm sure he wanted to go, the dad should just suck it up. It's not like they go every weekend.

Op here. We aren’t camping in tents. We are in cabins. The beds aren’t super comfortable but it’s definitely a different experience than camping. My husband can sleep on the floor. He’s not here because he think it will be uncomfortable. I have no idea why because he wouldn’t give any reason except he wasn’t going. We have never been to a soccer game together . It’s so frustrating because I constantly need to do stuff independently from dh. He’s not interested. If it were up to him our kids would be at the ymca childcare once a week and outside playing some other days. He would never sign them up for sports. We are from a different country. I sign them up for activities so they aren’t watching tv, learning how to make friends. Living in the US is very different. It’s hard for kids to make friends in the neighborhood. We don’t have street soccer here or anything like that.

Why are you living here instead of back home where you have more community support?

She's got DCUM community support here and that's priceless, son.

[Anonymous]

Obviously you need to stop procreating with this person

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need more information. Is a parent required?

Yes he’s only 8. DHs won’t do anything he doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to drive the kids to soccer? Sounds good to him so better never to sign up the kids for anything. If he won’t enjoy it he won’t do it. Wants to go to the gym so he can work out? That’s fine and they can go to childcare. Ymca childcare is the only thing he will do and he makes a big deal about it. He thinks he’s the most amazing dad ever because he takes them to the y once a week for 2 hours so they can go to babysitting. Apparently the 5 min trip in the car with them is brutal according to him and he’s sacrificing a lot. I’m on the trip now and really feeling mad at him. I have to push some heavy cart with our stuff and I’m other men are needing to help. What kind of man sends a pregnant wife and young kid to go on a trip alone? We aren’t staying in a hotel.

Cmon you can’t be serious. Why are you having a second child with this man?

This was the first thing that I thought, too. Did you think a second kid would change things?

Sounds like a 3rd child actually, which is insane!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-scouts-reach-850-million-settlement-tens-thousands-sexual-abuse-n1272955

I particpated in Scouts for two decades and never saw a single hint of any abuse. But, I guess you would forbid your daughter gymnastics because of Larrty Nassar.

Oh lucky you! Must be everyone else is imagining it. Including the courts.

Scouts is declining because 1) Anti-LGBT stuff 2) Molesters and 3) Bankruptcy due to child molester settlements makes it hard for the organization to function.

I was also involved with Scouting for a dozen years. It was really impressive. Much better than my Girl Scout experience.

Boy Scouts was the most valuable thing we did with our kids. Far superior to sports.

And the reason parents accompany Cub Scouts is for safety. it's family camping with Scouts until they cross over into Boy Scouts.

In order to earn ranks and advance they take safety training annually and must pass tests on youth protection about how to keep safe. They are never alone with an adult other than a parent. Adults also take the training.


Unlike the Catholic Church, Boy Scouts has taken the issue seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a mom that had a son in sub scouts for 5 years. In our troop, we camped twice a year and at least one parent required to attend. My husband hates camping so I almost always went but he went once when I had a conflict and there was once or twice my son just didn’t go.
Clearly you should not go — with pelvic girdle pain and some risk factors you should not be camping. (Odds are another dad would step up to set the tent up for you, but still….). Tell your husband that he can step up or son can skip. This will probably mean kid skips it. It won’t be the end of the world but, yeah, it’s too bad. Cub scouts really is the easiest way to camp because they make all the reservations, plan the activities and someone else cooks for you. You just show up and set up your tent and make sure your kid pees before bed. Personally I loved it and the dads were always really nice. (For Pp that suggested talking up the other dads, that never worked for me — my husband was oblivious.). Once they hit 6th grade, parents aren’t expected to go.

+ 1. Great post.

- Quartermaster of a close in Troop, T-XXXX

+2 Take care of yourself and your unborn baby OP. That means skipping the camping. You are not responsible for your husband's unwillingness to attend. Your kid will be fine skipping it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-scouts-reach-850-million-settlement-tens-thousands-sexual-abuse-n1272955

I particpated in Scouts for two decades and never saw a single hint of any abuse. But, I guess you would forbid your daughter gymnastics because of Larrty Nassar.

Oh lucky you! Must be everyone else is imagining it. Including the courts.

Scouts is declining because 1) Anti-LGBT stuff 2) Molesters and 3) Bankruptcy due to child molester settlements makes it hard for the organization to function.

I was also involved with Scouting for a dozen years. It was really impressive. Much better than my Girl Scout experience.

Boy Scouts was the most valuable thing we did with our kids. Far superior to sports.

And the reason parents accompany Cub Scouts is for safety. it's family camping with Scouts until they cross over into Boy Scouts.

In order to earn ranks and advance they take safety training annually and must pass tests on youth protection about how to keep safe. They are never alone with an adult other than a parent. Adults also take the training.


Unlike the Catholic Church, Boy Scouts has taken the issue seriously.

I was with you until the end. But now, what a turn off. Boy Scouts can stay a dying activity with dwindling members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-scouts-reach-850-million-settlement-tens-thousands-sexual-abuse-n1272955

I particpated in Scouts for two decades and never saw a single hint of any abuse. But, I guess you would forbid your daughter gymnastics because of Larrty Nassar.

Oh lucky you! Must be everyone else is imagining it. Including the courts.

Scouts is declining because 1) Anti-LGBT stuff 2) Molesters and 3) Bankruptcy due to child molester settlements makes it hard for the organization to function.

I was also involved with Scouting for a dozen years. It was really impressive. Much better than my Girl Scout experience.

Boy Scouts was the most valuable thing we did with our kids. Far superior to sports.

And the reason parents accompany Cub Scouts is for safety. it's family camping with Scouts until they cross over into Boy Scouts.

In order to earn ranks and advance they take safety training annually and must pass tests on youth protection about how to keep safe. They are never alone with an adult other than a parent. Adults also take the training.


Unlike the Catholic Church, Boy Scouts has taken the issue seriously.

I was with you until the end. But now, what a turn off. Boy Scouts can stay a dying activity with dwindling members.

I don't care what you approve of. DH was Carholic. He hates it now because he feels they are still hiding bad priests and doesn't trust it for our family.

But we are impressed with Scouting and how they have handled the issue.

[Anonymous]

You and your child didn't have to go on this trip.

[Anonymous]

Whose idea was cub scouts? Yours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

You have no clue what you are talking about.

Scouting is declining because more and more people are raising prissy little boys that have never spent a moment in the woods, much less slept in them by a fire. It's the pussification of an entire generation.

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/boy-scouts-reach-850-million-settlement-tens-thousands-sexual-abuse-n1272955

I particpated in Scouts for two decades and never saw a single hint of any abuse. But, I guess you would forbid your daughter gymnastics because of Larrty Nassar.

Oh lucky you! Must be everyone else is imagining it. Including the courts.

Scouts is declining because 1) Anti-LGBT stuff 2) Molesters and 3) Bankruptcy due to child molester settlements makes it hard for the organization to function.

I was also involved with Scouting for a dozen years. It was really impressive. Much better than my Girl Scout experience.

Boy Scouts was the most valuable thing we did with our kids. Far superior to sports.

And the reason parents accompany Cub Scouts is for safety. it's family camping with Scouts until they cross over into Boy Scouts.

In order to earn ranks and advance they take safety training annually and must pass tests on youth protection about how to keep safe. They are never alone with an adult other than a parent. Adults also take the training.


Unlike the Catholic Church, Boy Scouts has taken the issue seriously.

I was with you until the end. But now, what a turn off. Boy Scouts can stay a dying activity with dwindling members.

I don't care what you approve of. DH was Carholic. He hates it now because he feels they are still hiding bad priests and doesn't trust it for our family.

But we are impressed with Scouting and how they have handled the issue.

You and your paranoid ignoramus husband can have your scouting. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.