Told my DH to lose weight, it’s affecting everything

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you’re pretty insensitive OP. Part of the poor sex life is now you’ve made him so self conscious he can’t feel attractive. If he’s a doctor, he KNOWS the health issues attached to being overweight. He’s not an idiot!

My mother is obsessed with people’s weight. She’s also extremely anxious and doesn’t get herself therapy or anything. She uses their weight as a reason to try to control everything about them. I think being thin and a former nurse it gives her a sense of superiority (though she hasn’t worked in like 30+ years and still calls herself a nurse). She’s currently working on my brother’s wife. Poor thing can’t even eat in front of my mother anymore. My mom won’t let up and doesn’t realize the wife can’t stand her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The truth hurts, sometimes, but when it's related to health and financial wellbeing, it's really important to say it.

He'll have to get over himself, OP. I have no sympathy for someone like him. You can apologize for hurting his feelings, but do not apologize for trying to save his life.

Why does he have to get over himself. There is no health issue here. His numbers are fine; he works out. No reason to think he has any health issues. As for looks -- of that may be but do not bring health issues into this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My extremely overweight husband with similar family history did have a very serious stroke, and on top of his paralysis and brain damage, it’s just generally absolutely ruined our lives. Your husband is like mine and thinks it won’t happen to him.

It will not in all likelihood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Off topic, but I’m reminded of what my husband said when I went on Wegovy — “hou look beautiful, I love you and you don’t need to do this if that’s why. But I know you want to go on it for you and I’ll support you.”

Yeah, try that tack and get the f- up over yourself, OP. You’re the problem, not him.

Mine said the same. He told me he loved me at any weight, and that he just wanted me to be happy with myself.

If he had talked to me the way OP spoke to her DH, I’d be devastated and don’t know if I’d be able to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’d like to just accept him as he is and move on. But our sex life is dead. And that really matters to me.

Bc he can’t get it up? He needs to see a doctor. That a major sign of heart disease.

No, because she told him she isn’t attracted to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Off topic, but I’m reminded of what my husband said when I went on Wegovy — “hou look beautiful, I love you and you don’t need to do this if that’s why. But I know you want to go on it for you and I’ll support you.”

Yeah, try that tack and get the f- up over yourself, OP. You’re the problem, not him.

Mine said the same. He told me he loved me at any weight, and that he just wanted me to be happy with myself.

If he had talked to me the way OP spoke to her DH, I’d be devastated and don’t know if I’d be able to get over it.

Same. I would never sleep with him again.

[Anonymous]

Tell him he looks dumpy and it's impossible to be sexually excited for him. That will make any man motivated to change

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about women with belly fat? Are they healthy?

Bruh why are you trying to trigger women on a women's forum
You know that women are very sensitive about their look and belly fat in particular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he looks dumpy and it's impossible to be sexually excited for him. That will make any man motivated to change

He’s a doctor who works out daily. He could dump op and replace her with a woman happy to be with him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he looks dumpy and it's impossible to be sexually excited for him. That will make any man motivated to change

He’s a doctor who works out daily. He could dump op and replace her with a woman happy to be with him

And she'll get half. And get to move on with an actually fit, attractive guy without a potbelly. Win win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he looks dumpy and it's impossible to be sexually excited for him. That will make any man motivated to change

He’s a doctor who works out daily. He could dump op and replace her with a woman happy to be with him

Is this a threat or a promise?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow if so many of us married men regular gym attendees moderate to non drinkers diet conscious spoke this way about our wives wow.

There are a lot us. A lot of DWs are not only overweight but a few are obese. But if course women have a repertoire of excuses they can cling on to. It's a minefield for a lot married men. If your wife is fat just shut your mouth.

As a woman who has stayed in shape and had taken great care of herself into middle age, I say this—

If you had to deal with an iota of the hormones that women have to deal with through the course of their life, you’d be in a puddle crying. Pregnancy weight gain and hormonal weight gain are no joke. Not to mention breast-feeding, weaning, weekly shifts due to hormones, and perimenopause. Then there is also bloating, G.I. issues, breast, pain, and a bunch of fun stuff.

My OB told me to gain more weight in my final month of pregnancy because I hadn’t gained much. Guess what? It took me a year and a half to lose that last 7 pounds. And the first round required pure starvation— like eating disorder levels. This was despite working out before, during, and after my pregnancy (and watching my calories). And I’m short so it’s not an insignificant amount on my frame.

And come on we all know it’s easier for men to lose weight. I’m not saying OP could not have been more delicate and what she said, but laying out some facts.

So kindly shut the F up.

Oh, and gotta get all snatched and cute all while bleeding and healing from pushing out a whole human. So F off

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him he looks dumpy and it's impossible to be sexually excited for him. That will make any man motivated to change

He’s a doctor who works out daily. He could dump op and replace her with a woman happy to be with him

And use her alimony payments to pay for her sugar baby. If he’s a cute little hottie, who is fun to hang out with, it’s kind of a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Go on low carb diet together.
Cook low carb cut out all sugar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow if so many of us married men regular gym attendees moderate to non drinkers diet conscious spoke this way about our wives wow.

There are a lot us. A lot of DWs are not only overweight but a few are obese. But if course women have a repertoire of excuses they can cling on to. It's a minefield for a lot married men. If your wife is fat just shut your mouth.

As a woman who has stayed in shape and had taken great care of herself into middle age, I say this—

If you had to deal with an iota of the hormones that women have to deal with through the course of their life, you’d be in a puddle crying. Pregnancy weight gain and hormonal weight gain are no joke. Not to mention breast-feeding, weaning, weekly shifts due to hormones, and perimenopause. Then there is also bloating, G.I. issues, breast, pain, and a bunch of fun stuff.

My OB told me to gain more weight in my final month of pregnancy because I hadn’t gained much. Guess what? It took me a year and a half to lose that last 7 pounds. And the first round required pure starvation— like eating disorder levels. This was despite working out before, during, and after my pregnancy (and watching my calories). And I’m short so it’s not an insignificant amount on my frame.

And come on we all know it’s easier for men to lose weight. I’m not saying OP could not have been more delicate and what she said, but laying out some facts.

So kindly shut the F up.

Oh, and gotta get all snatched and cute all while bleeding and healing from pushing out a whole human. So F off

Was your husband involved in your anorexia or are you blaming men for your girl friends' and your own internalized misogyny?