How common is it to not shave legs/underarms...

[Anonymous]

Girls are no more or less virtuous or attractive today because they don't wear stockings or corsets. Trends change. People adapt. It's not a big deal to the young people. It's only a big deal to the dinosaurs.

I'm sure many of our grandparents at some point scratched their heads about young women going around with bare, unstockinged legs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Ick - you were wrong

If no one in middle school or high school are nothing her, do you think adults are going to frown on it. Like WTF cares.

I agree with the PPP. She was not wrong. It is not wrong to tell your kid how others might react and suggest they be prepared for that. That's parenting. I consider it GOOD parenting - guiding, preparing, but not demanding compliance with norms just for the sake of complying with norms. Allowing the child to make informed decisions and being prepared for potential consequences or reactions.
This isn't a matter of life and death. We're not talking about doing drugs or smoking or something.

I agree with you. I am the poster who asked about the future board room. I am curious if the DDs of these prior posters were getting internships in Big Law or Big 4 if they would advise them not to shave. A 16-17 year old girl is 2-3 years away from her first exposure to an office job and I wonder how the “I don’t care attitude “ would serve them. In my experience from observing interns and college hires the “I don’t care what others think “ translates into poor work ethics. Teaching young adults some basic norms of socials behavior is important in my opinion- how to dress and groom appropriately for a professional environment, how to shake hands and look people in the eyes during conversations, how to properly use a fork and knife etc. but I may be old school based on the majority of opinions shared here

I strongly disagree with this and I would encourage you to not to judge others this way. No matter how ingrained your bias is, you really can't tell how smart or hardworking someone is based on their the conventionality of their appearance. The smartest and most innovative, groundbreaking people I know happen not to care that much about their appearance because they spend 99% of their time actually thinking about more important matters. Conventionality may matter in some careers, like sales, but certainly not in all careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Ick - you were wrong

If no one in middle school or high school are nothing her, do you think adults are going to frown on it. Like WTF cares.

I agree with the PPP. She was not wrong. It is not wrong to tell your kid how others might react and suggest they be prepared for that. That's parenting. I consider it GOOD parenting - guiding, preparing, but not demanding compliance with norms just for the sake of complying with norms. Allowing the child to make informed decisions and being prepared for potential consequences or reactions.
This isn't a matter of life and death. We're not talking about doing drugs or smoking or something.

I agree with you. I am the poster who asked about the future board room. I am curious if the DDs of these prior posters were getting internships in Big Law or Big 4 if they would advise them not to shave. A 16-17 year old girl is 2-3 years away from her first exposure to an office job and I wonder how the “I don’t care attitude “ would serve them. In my experience from observing interns and college hires the “I don’t care what others think “ translates into poor work ethics. Teaching young adults some basic norms of socials behavior is important in my opinion- how to dress and groom appropriately for a professional environment, how to shake hands and look people in the eyes during conversations, how to properly use a fork and knife etc. but I may be old school based on the majority of opinions shared here

Also, maybe it's no coincidence that my DD, who is conventionally feminine but does not shave her legs, has zero interest in Big Law or Big 4, though she is very successful in academics and has national level recognition in an EC. Not all careers require you to conform rigidly to conservative social norms. If she did want to work in such a career some day, I'm sure she's smart enough to pick up on the need to fit in, and that some workplaces are more conservative than others. But there are also many desirable careers where you can be at the top of your field and nobody will care if you shave your legs or not, as this has no bearing on how capable or hard working you actually are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls are no more or less virtuous or attractive today because they don't wear stockings or corsets. Trends change. People adapt. It's not a big deal to the young people. It's only a big deal to the dinosaurs.

I'm sure many of our grandparents at some point scratched their heads about young women going around with bare, unstockinged legs.

The majority still shave under their arms. The majority of young women do shave or wax their pubic hair which they would only do for men.

[Anonymous]

The big law thing is so absurd. I don't shave anywhere and worked in big law 10 years ago. Before then i was with a big 3 managment consultancy. It's only gotten more normalized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 16 year old and all her friends shave. Not sure where all these hairy girls are…

Where do you live?

In a nursing home.

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old daughter doesn’t shave. She is gay but traditionally feminine in appearance—make up and dresses and blonde highlights and heels. I wish she would shave her armpits but recognize that is a me problem, not a her problem. Her leg hair is very light and not noticeable fwiw. She is unfussed, which is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Ick - you were wrong

If no one in middle school or high school are nothing her, do you think adults are going to frown on it. Like WTF cares.

I agree with the PPP. She was not wrong. It is not wrong to tell your kid how others might react and suggest they be prepared for that. That's parenting. I consider it GOOD parenting - guiding, preparing, but not demanding compliance with norms just for the sake of complying with norms. Allowing the child to make informed decisions and being prepared for potential consequences or reactions.
This isn't a matter of life and death. We're not talking about doing drugs or smoking or something.

I agree with you. I am the poster who asked about the future board room. I am curious if the DDs of these prior posters were getting internships in Big Law or Big 4 if they would advise them not to shave. A 16-17 year old girl is 2-3 years away from her first exposure to an office job and I wonder how the “I don’t care attitude “ would serve them. In my experience from observing interns and college hires the “I don’t care what others think “ translates into poor work ethics. Teaching young adults some basic norms of socials behavior is important in my opinion- how to dress and groom appropriately for a professional environment, how to shake hands and look people in the eyes during conversations, how to properly use a fork and knife etc. but I may be old school based on the majority of opinions shared here

I don't think this necessarily applies to a girl who doesn't shave. It isn't a general "i don't care" attitude. It's a self-assurance and lack of compulsion to "beautify" one's self according to someone else's standard. They care how they look; they don't care if others think they should shave (or wear make-up, or not use black nail polish, or etc). My daughter cares very much about her schoolwork and her performance in her extracurricular activities. She does not believe she should have to wear make-up or shave. She knows different venues call for different types of dress, though I think most of society is more casual than in the past and many adults as well as kids don't think it's as important to dress up for a lot of things we used to (church, even school - ie, pajamas/sweats/shorts - we would never have been able to wear those things to school. And schools holding official "pajama days" doesn't help!)

Anyway, I don't think you should automatically conflate girls not shaving with poor work ethic. A person can exhibit both behaviors, but can also exhibit one exclusive of the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It common. Shave when you feel like it, or not. It's not a "must-do" part of a shower routine like in the old days

Speak for yourself. It’s a choice but I don’t see too many teens in tank tops with hairy armpits. My niece identifies as non-binary and she doesn’t shave but I don’t think it’s common. It’s so simple to shave underarms in the shower. Legs can be annoying.

Are you bad at math and statistics? Teens who choose to wear tanks are also the ones who choose to shave. Often teens who do not shave do not wear tanks. Though some do. I'm going to take a shave break and let my pits free as an act of resistance.

Why wouldn’t teens who don’t shave not wear tanks?

Because they don't shave but are still self-conscious about it? And by not wearing tanks, they can still avoid the need to shave, something they just don't want to do for some reason.

That doesn’t make sense. If someone is self conscious about not shaving, those are the people who shave underarms. It takes 20 seconds to swipe a razor under your armpits. I doubt people who don’t shave are self conscious about it. Why would they try to hide it? It’s not a big deal.

You're missing the point and the logic. If they don't wear tank tops, they don't need to shave. They don't want to shave; so they don't wear tank tops. It's like my (an old fashioned adult woman) wearing pants to an event instead of a skirt because I don't feel like shaving my legs in the middle of winter. I wear the pants, my hairy legs don't show, I don't need to shave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The big law thing is so absurd. I don't shave anywhere and worked in big law 10 years ago. Before then i was with a big 3 managment consultancy. It's only gotten more normalized.

+1 I’m in tech and only sometimes shave. Never affected my career trajectory which is doing quite well thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It common. Shave when you feel like it, or not. It's not a "must-do" part of a shower routine like in the old days

Speak for yourself. It’s a choice but I don’t see too many teens in tank tops with hairy armpits. My niece identifies as non-binary and she doesn’t shave but I don’t think it’s common. It’s so simple to shave underarms in the shower. Legs can be annoying.

Are you bad at math and statistics? Teens who choose to wear tanks are also the ones who choose to shave. Often teens who do not shave do not wear tanks. Though some do. I'm going to take a shave break and let my pits free as an act of resistance.

Why wouldn’t teens who don’t shave not wear tanks?

Because they don't shave but are still self-conscious about it? And by not wearing tanks, they can still avoid the need to shave, something they just don't want to do for some reason.

That doesn’t make sense. If someone is self conscious about not shaving, those are the people who shave underarms. It takes 20 seconds to swipe a razor under your armpits. I doubt people who don’t shave are self conscious about it. Why would they try to hide it? It’s not a big deal.

You're missing the point and the logic. If they don't wear tank tops, they don't need to shave. They don't want to shave; so they don't wear tank tops. It's like my (an old fashioned adult woman) wearing pants to an event instead of a skirt because I don't feel like shaving my legs in the middle of winter. I wear the pants, my hairy legs don't show, I don't need to shave.

I get the logic for you and me. But teens dgaf if they are seen with unshaven under arms. They’re not about to hide it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls are no more or less virtuous or attractive today because they don't wear stockings or corsets. Trends change. People adapt. It's not a big deal to the young people. It's only a big deal to the dinosaurs.

I'm sure many of our grandparents at some point scratched their heads about young women going around with bare, unstockinged legs.

OK.

But hairy pits are still gross and they stink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The board room is already mostly a thing of the past. My youngest DD shaves, my oldest college-aged DD can't be bothered, although I told her I thought she should shave for her summer job outdoors in customer service (her hair is very dark), so she shaves once a week. I know I probably shouldn't have told her my thoughts, but lots of the general public, and possibly even her supervisors, could look at hairy legs on a girl as not a clean look (same thing as beards on the boys, which she told me they did have some guidelines for beards for the boys). Of course, it's her choice, but I do think as her mom I should prepare her for what people might think, and what type of dress or grooming might be appropriate for different settings. She's a pretty naive young adult who thinks most people are as progressive as her friends are, and that anyone who's not is in the minority or is "wrong". As she transitions into the adult world and leaves her bubble, I am nervous she is in for a rude awakening.

Ick - you were wrong

If no one in middle school or high school are nothing her, do you think adults are going to frown on it. Like WTF cares.

I agree with the PPP. She was not wrong. It is not wrong to tell your kid how others might react and suggest they be prepared for that. That's parenting. I consider it GOOD parenting - guiding, preparing, but not demanding compliance with norms just for the sake of complying with norms. Allowing the child to make informed decisions and being prepared for potential consequences or reactions.
This isn't a matter of life and death. We're not talking about doing drugs or smoking or something.

I agree with you. I am the poster who asked about the future board room. I am curious if the DDs of these prior posters were getting internships in Big Law or Big 4 if they would advise them not to shave. A 16-17 year old girl is 2-3 years away from her first exposure to an office job and I wonder how the “I don’t care attitude “ would serve them. In my experience from observing interns and college hires the “I don’t care what others think “ translates into poor work ethics. Teaching young adults some basic norms of socials behavior is important in my opinion- how to dress and groom appropriately for a professional environment, how to shake hands and look people in the eyes during conversations, how to properly use a fork and knife etc. but I may be old school based on the majority of opinions shared here

I don't think this necessarily applies to a girl who doesn't shave. It isn't a general "i don't care" attitude. It's a self-assurance and lack of compulsion to "beautify" one's self according to someone else's standard. They care how they look; they don't care if others think they should shave (or wear make-up, or not use black nail polish, or etc). My daughter cares very much about her schoolwork and her performance in her extracurricular activities. She does not believe she should have to wear make-up or shave. She knows different venues call for different types of dress, though I think most of society is more casual than in the past and many adults as well as kids don't think it's as important to dress up for a lot of things we used to (church, even school - ie, pajamas/sweats/shorts - we would never have been able to wear those things to school. And schools holding official "pajama days" doesn't help!)

Anyway, I don't think you should automatically conflate girls not shaving with poor work ethic. A person can exhibit both behaviors, but can also exhibit one exclusive of the other.

Just noting that my 16 year old no-shaver daughter received 5's on all of her AP exams. I don't think that reflects poor work ethics.

[Anonymous]

The old woman in here having issues with work ethics or what is gross are unreal lol

Girls and woman do what they want now. Playing by men’s rules no longer applies. The woman that continue to judge like men are the issue. Grow up

[Anonymous]

I have two teen DDs in public schools in Nova and the number of their peers who don't shave is not a big number. When we were growing up there were always the Goth kids or whatever. There are still the "alternative dressers" but there don't seem to be any more of them than there ever were.

All of the "mainstream" teen girls we know shave per usual.