Bumkini

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's hilarious that the "enlightened" DCUM consensus is that parents should let their daughters go around in public with their entire butt hanging out. Setting reasonable limits on teen behavior is good parenting. I get that some parents will decide this is a battle they don't want or care to fight, but saying it's misogynistic to set reasonable standards of modesty for a 15 year old is ridiculous.

+1.

+2

+3

Except it's not hilarious, it's sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not get assaulted by what they wear or what they say or what they do.

They get assaulted because men think they own woman. That’s it

Stop putting in Brazilian thong bikinis and comparing it to the cheeky bikini bottoms teens are wearing.

Girls wear most things to impress girls and peers. Not about men

LOLZ - not true at all, but believe that if it makes you feel better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not get assaulted by what they wear or what they say or what they do.

They get assaulted because men think they own woman. That’s it

Stop putting in Brazilian thong bikinis and comparing it to the cheeky bikini bottoms teens are wearing.

Girls wear most things to impress girls and peers. Not about men

Huh? Disagree with this completely. I was very pretty when I was young. I wore what I did to get male attention. I loved male attention. I could care less what other women thought.

Just being honest here.

I wore stuff for male attention and to show off to my peers. It kind of went hand in hand.

[Anonymous]

But "male attention " was your peers..teen boys. I'll bet it never occurred to you that creepy adult men were looking, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are pretty trashy.

+1 NP

I hate the word "trashy." To imply another human being is refuse says more about the judger than the person being judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are pretty trashy.

+1 NP

I hate the word "trashy." To imply another human being is refuse says more about the judger than the person being judged.

Ok.

It's still trashy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are pretty trashy.

+1 NP

I hate the word "trashy." To imply another human being is refuse says more about the judger than the person being judged.

But some things are actually trashy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But "male attention " was your peers..teen boys. I'll bet it never occurred to you that creepy adult men were looking, too.

When I was 16-22, I wouldn't have cared. I had a great body and loved to show it off. Now in my 30s it seems much creepier but back then? Wouldn't have cared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not get assaulted by what they wear or what they say or what they do.

They get assaulted because men think they own woman. That’s it

Stop putting in Brazilian thong bikinis and comparing it to the cheeky bikini bottoms teens are wearing.

Girls wear most things to impress girls and peers. Not about men

LOLZ - not true at all, but believe that if it makes you feel better

Right? So dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really concerned by op commenting that she told her daughter she has deep rooted issues for wanting to wear these bottoms.

Exactly. She is just trying to pass along her deep rooted issues to her poor kids. It’s disgusting. She needs therapy

Op here. I tried to relate a real issue and got flamed by NOw psychos. Thanks to the people who answered kindly. The rest of you need more therapy than you are already getting. Hubby and I are laughing our covered butt's off at ya

If you are actually the OP, you need to leave your poor daughter alone and get yourself and your “hubby” to therapy. Hopefully you are not OP or not for real.

Therapy is for lovers. Sit there and listen to someone you don't know give you advice about you! Lol. If I was a therapist, I would keep telling people they are screwed up. What's my incentive not to? So I lose business?
I had a concern about my kid and brought it up. This place is just toxic though. It's a few great and honest people amongst a plethora of trolls and lovers who have made nothing of themselves and want to bring others down.
Sad, because the idea of the forum is so good. It is people who screw it up.
If you think me being concerned of how much skin my 15 year old is showing is somehow playing into a misogynistic mindset you are nuts. I live in the real world and have concerns about it. Once again, thanks to the honest and kind replies and the rest of you can take a long walk off a short pier.
I had no idea this would become so acrimonious

I don’t even think you have kids. You sound like a straight up troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

A) just because it happens in Brazil doesn't make it right

B) it's not at all like women showing ankles, it's showing almost all of a body part that is sexually arousing regardless of cultural norms

C) she's not responsible for the disturbing thoughts of others, but others are having disturbing thoughts, she is being objectified, she is being disrespected, she is being thought less of and given social media habits of her male peers, photos of her doing something she views as quite innocent may well be winding up in some weird and creepy places.

The point is that cultural norms change. Ankles showing used to be against cultural norms. It was considered sexually inappropriate to show. It’s literally the exact same. You and some other old fogies telling girls and women what to wear ‘or else’ (get attacked by a sex offender apparently)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find troubling about it is body positivity and fashion and trends always seem to err on the side of girls and women being half naked while men are well covered.


Hmmmm…pretty convenient.

If this is feminism and body positivity and sticking it to the man, well it kind of sucks.

As for OP, I’d just let her wear it but let her know she might get some comments and looks she doesn’t like and how to handle them.

And body positivity doesn't mean you HAVE to display your body, it means you shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Being proud of who you are and what you look like has nothing to do with whether or not you were skimpy clothes.

I agree, but teens and tweens are generally not capable of making independent decisions. All my 13-year old wants to wear is whatever she things everyone else will wear. If that's a baggy shirt, fine. If that's a crop top, fine. I think we're all blinking at reality a little bit when we say that, oh, these girls have agency and are making choices and we should support that. And I agree with PP that it's, to say the least, odd, that boys choices almost uniformly result in them wearing comfortable modest clothes, whereas girls' "choices" result in them wearing stuff that's creeping up their ass into their buttcrack. Maybe they are all choosing that as an empowered body-positive step. Or maybe some creepy old men in charge of the fashion industry have decided that's what to sell them, and they all follow along because they are terrified of being different at that age.

I have another daughter who is borderline autistic and doesn't care much what other people think, and she never chooses the thing that is creeping up her butt.

I'm not OP, and I'm not fighting this battle with my teen, but I am observing that fashion is still selling women and girls an image of themselves that is very tied to the male gaze. I just don't believe that this is the end-goal for feminism.

Oh, I mean 1000%, yeah. I think they’re wearing the thongs to compete with each other for a very male-centric thing I want my daughter to want no part in. But I’m not going to pile on by a) making her feel ashamed of wanting to fit in or be attractive b) expecting her to solve this puzzle and materialize the end-goal of feminism in bathing suit form c) telling her she’s responsible for pervs.

We’re all balancing all this stuff as parents and for me, the bathing suit is one I would just say you can pick your swimsuit and be safe and no diving in the shallow end, ever.

You sound like a great parent, I appreciate this measured approach.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Somehow some lonely old harpies turn every discussion in here into men bashing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teens do not get assaulted by what they wear or what they say or what they do.

They get assaulted because men think they own woman. That’s it

Stop putting in Brazilian thong bikinis and comparing it to the cheeky bikini bottoms teens are wearing.

Girls wear most things to impress girls and peers. Not about men

LOLZ - not true at all, but believe that if it makes you feel better

Right? So dumb.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are pretty trashy.

+1 NP

I hate the word "trashy." To imply another human being is refuse says more about the judger than the person being judged.

Ok.

It's still trashy.

+1