Bumkini

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lady sex offenders don’t go after girls because they have a bikini bottom that is a little cheeky.

You need help

Who are you ? The world's authority on sex offenders? YOU need help. You literally can't ask a question here without some sow like you jumping in and being a jerk

Np retired law enforcement

It’s true

[Anonymous]

I mean I guess I don't care, but I find it a little odd that kids under 18 would wear something super skimpy. But also we have a huge family history of skin cancer, so I reject skimpy suits based on lack of sun protection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay so I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

Across cultures and times, the rules about what is an inappropriate level of skin exposure vary widely. Like, as far as they can possibly vary, from burka to fully nude.

The consistent part is that people object to what girls and women are wearing and blame them for the inappropriate sexual thoughts and behaviors of adult men and women.

So I generally feel that people are responsible for their own behavior, and I’m not going to draw any red lines over swimsuit bottoms. I’m going to focus on behavior, like inappropriate flirting with adult men or something like that. Like any social media posts that risk unwanted communication from adult men. If it’s just that she wants her butt cheeks out for fashion, that’s not the hill I’m going to die on.

Thank you for typing this so I didn't have to, haha.

Keeping your kid from wearing a fashionable bathing suit is not going to keep them safe from the lecherous thoughts of . . . lechers. I prefer to school my kids in the realities of the world - yes, you should be able to wear whatever you want, and I support you in that. But if some gross guy leers at you, you will have to decide what to do. If you're safely in a crowd, you can say, eff off you gross lecher, I'm 12/14/an autonomous human who didn't ask for your opinion on my body. If you're not in a safe place, get to a safe place. That's all. That's all our kids need to know to do.

We need to stop acting like other people's thoughts about our bodies and clothing matter because it makes them feel more secure in their lechery. If you have a pedophilic thoughts when you see half of a tween's butt, that's a you problem.

100%
But at least one poster admitted to this on the other bathing suit thread. They literally said as an adult they would eyef*** a child wearing a thong suit and wouldn’t be able to control their thoughts. Disgusting that these people are out there, but glad they are telling on themselves. Funny how it’s not drag queens…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

Drug murders and street crime are also popular in Miami and Rio - it’s not persuasive to say teens wear thongs there.

Also, if you’ve ACTUALLY been to Brazil, you’d know that most people are not wearing thongs. They just wear normal bathing suits. The men wear more briefs, but even they were board shorts.

Stop projecting your weird fantasies on other countries.

Read the post and tell me where it says teens wear thongs in Brazil.



I hate how small the front has gotten. Women aren’t just standing there posing. They are moving around, swimming, doesn’t take much for that to move

I meant this thong bottom …

This is a micro-bikini and not very common at the public pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find troubling about it is body positivity and fashion and trends always seem to err on the side of girls and women being half naked while men are well covered.


Hmmmm…pretty convenient.

If this is feminism and body positivity and sticking it to the man, well it kind of sucks.

As for OP, I’d just let her wear it but let her know she might get some comments and looks she doesn’t like and how to handle them.

And body positivity doesn't mean you HAVE to display your body, it means you shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Being proud of who you are and what you look like has nothing to do with whether or not you were skimpy clothes.

I agree, but teens and tweens are generally not capable of making independent decisions. All my 13-year old wants to wear is whatever she things everyone else will wear. If that's a baggy shirt, fine. If that's a crop top, fine. I think we're all blinking at reality a little bit when we say that, oh, these girls have agency and are making choices and we should support that. And I agree with PP that it's, to say the least, odd, that boys choices almost uniformly result in them wearing comfortable modest clothes, whereas girls' "choices" result in them wearing stuff that's creeping up their ass into their buttcrack. Maybe they are all choosing that as an empowered body-positive step. Or maybe some creepy old men in charge of the fashion industry have decided that's what to sell them, and they all follow along because they are terrified of being different at that age.

I have another daughter who is borderline autistic and doesn't care much what other people think, and she never chooses the thing that is creeping up her butt.

I'm not OP, and I'm not fighting this battle with my teen, but I am observing that fashion is still selling women and girls an image of themselves that is very tied to the male gaze. I just don't believe that this is the end-goal for feminism.

+1

I mean… think about it. Who are the ultimate winners in the sex positive women, anything goes ladies! movement (ahem anal and choking and all sorts of other ridiculous crap that no one will ever convince me the average woman would ever choose to do if it weren’t for societal pressure), and the birth control revolution, and the “sex work is WORK!” nonsense? Answer: MEN.

Gullible women are taking their BS hook, line, and sinker. There is a huge expanse between virginal prude and whatever is happening these days. But no, if one doesn’t agree with going to one extreme that must mean one is the other extreme.

If woman want to wear ridiculously small things, that's fine and I can see how that's freeing and whatever... but you should not be naive about what men are thinking. And it's nothing you would ever want to do anything to encourage anyone ever to think about your daughter. So, celebrate the freedom that you CAN wear anything, but please, please think twice before you let your daughters do it.

Op here. Thank you. DD is our first child and we are navigating this. She is a cute kid with a muscular body gained through her activities. She likes boys and has been on dates (supervised ) but she still has a baby tooth and still likes to hug her teddy as she falls asleep.
I was hoping that coming here would help and thankfully it has. We were looking for experienced folks to give us insight. I didn't expect to get into a gender battle. I don't even think it is necessary to do so.

She’s 15 and you are treating her like a baby and behaving poorly. Bringing up sex offenders is unreal. Raising her to feel like her clothes demean her and could get her assaulted?!? Yuck

Mom of 14, 18, and 22yr old girls

They could get her assaulted. You are behaving poorly. You could have just shared what you thought without putting me down. But you couldn't huh?

I don't want to get between you two, but you are right, they could get her assaulted.

No, they could assault her. Nothing about her behavior causes her to “get assaulted.”

Yes!
You know what gets someone assaulted? Someone who assaults them.
That’s it. Stop saying that girls who wear clothing you don’t approve of deserve to get assaulted or raped or creeped on by other sexual predators.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Okay so I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

Across cultures and times, the rules about what is an inappropriate level of skin exposure vary widely. Like, as far as they can possibly vary, from burka to fully nude.

The consistent part is that people object to what girls and women are wearing and blame them for the inappropriate sexual thoughts and behaviors of adult men and women.

So I generally feel that people are responsible for their own behavior, and I’m not going to draw any red lines over swimsuit bottoms. I’m going to focus on behavior, like inappropriate flirting with adult men or something like that. Like any social media posts that risk unwanted communication from adult men. If it’s just that she wants her butt cheeks out for fashion, that’s not the hill I’m going to die on.

I have kids who swim year round, and even the competitive swimmers are apparently fine with butt cheeks hanging out as they swim the 200 fly, 400 im, etc. I have sons, so I haven't had to think of this from the same perspective of a mom with daughters, and maybe I would feel otherwise if I did have daughters, but I agree with PP. I am trying to take my own discomfort out of the equation, because what does it matter that it makes me cringe to see a bunch of butt cheeks hanging out as I time behind the block? It used to be (and still is in some places in the US), salacious for women to wear pants instead of skirts.

I have decided to be fine with it. I don't understand it, but I don't think it matters at all if I[b] get it or not. There are a lot of things that I don't understand (yet), but I accept - people who have he/they pronouns, for example, but I am working on it!

[Anonymous]

My wife and I are reading this together and having a bit of a laugh, butt, the other day one of our neighbors 23 year old stunning au pair came to the pool wearing butt floss. I love my wife very much, butt she doesn't look 23 anymore and God knows I don't either. I took a couple of looks and then chilled. My wife is cool and she knows I am probably gonna look, but I respect her and won't push the boundaries.
Little boys, girls, tweens and teens were also taking eye fulls. Some giggled but that was it.
The people who were really complaining were the adult women! Now I get it because what this lady was wearing really was minimal and some people don't want their kids seeing someone's ass on full display, but I think jealousy was also a catalyst for some.
As for our kids (teen twin girls), they wear the more typically American cheeky suits. I am kind of whatever about it and so is my wife, but we have caught people looking at them who shouldn't be. I don't say anything because nobody has ever approached then or gotten close enough to "accidentally" brush up against them, but they do get the looks and they know it. It's there choice but they do have to at least be aware of what is happening around them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is butthurt with anyone who doesn't agree with her. She came in with the intention to ass-whoop rather than getting well-rounded perspectives.

I don't read it that way at all. She just does not like people criticizing her. She is fine with other opinion on cheeky suits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=Anonymous]Okay so I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking about this.

Across cultures and times, the rules about what is an inappropriate level of skin exposure vary widely. Like, as far as they can possibly vary, from burka to fully nude.

The consistent part is that people object to what girls and women are wearing and blame them for the inappropriate sexual thoughts and behaviors of adult men and women.

So I generally feel that people are responsible for their own behavior, and I’m not going to draw any red lines over swimsuit bottoms. I’m going to focus on behavior, like inappropriate flirting with adult men or something like that. Like any social media posts that risk unwanted communication from adult men. If it’s just that she wants her butt cheeks out for fashion, that’s not the hill I’m going to die on.

I have kids who swim year round, and even the competitive swimmers are apparently fine with butt cheeks hanging out as they swim the 200 fly, 400 im, etc. I have sons, so I haven't had to think of this from the same perspective of a mom with daughters, and maybe I would feel otherwise if I did have daughters, but I agree with PP. I am trying to take my own discomfort out of the equation, because what does it matter that it makes me cringe to see a bunch of butt cheeks hanging out as I time behind the block? It used to be (and still is in some places in the US), salacious for women to wear pants instead of skirts.

I have decided to be fine with it. I don't understand it, but I don't think it matters at all if I[b] get it or not. There are a lot of things that I don't understand (yet), but I accept - people who have he/they pronouns, for example, but I am working on it!

Sorry, this formatted strangely. Should have looked like this

I have kids who swim year round, and even the competitive swimmers are apparently fine with butt cheeks hanging out as they swim the 200 fly, 400 im, etc. I have sons, so I haven't had to think of this from the same perspective of a mom with daughters, and maybe I would otherwise if I did have daughters, but I agree with PP. I am trying to take my own discomfort out of the equation, because what does it matter that it makes me cringe to see a bunch of butt cheeks hanging out as I time behind the block? It used to be (and still is in some places in the US), salacious for women to wear pants instead of skirts.

I have decided to be fine with it. I don't understand it, but I don't think it matters at all if I get it or not. There are a lot of things I don't understand (yet), but I accept - people who have he/they pronouns, for example, but I am working on it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are reading this together and having a bit of a laugh, butt, the other day one of our neighbors 23 year old stunning au pair came to the pool wearing butt floss. I love my wife very much, butt she doesn't look 23 anymore and God knows I don't either. I took a couple of looks and then chilled. My wife is cool and she knows I am probably gonna look, but I respect her and won't push the boundaries.
Little boys, girls, tweens and teens were also taking eye fulls. Some giggled but that was it.
The people who were really complaining were the adult women! Now I get it because what this lady was wearing really was minimal and some people don't want their kids seeing someone's ass on full display, but I think jealousy was also a catalyst for some.
As for our kids (teen twin girls), they wear the more typically American cheeky suits. I am kind of whatever about it and so is my wife, but we have caught people looking at them who shouldn't be. I don't say anything because nobody has ever approached then or gotten close enough to "accidentally" brush up against them, but they do get the looks and they know it. It's there choice but they do have to at least be aware of what is happening around them

Why don't you be the parent and tell them to wear better bathing suits? Why are you choosing not to parent your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I are reading this together and having a bit of a laugh, butt, the other day one of our neighbors 23 year old stunning au pair came to the pool wearing butt floss. I love my wife very much, butt she doesn't look 23 anymore and God knows I don't either. I took a couple of looks and then chilled. My wife is cool and she knows I am probably gonna look, but I respect her and won't push the boundaries.
Little boys, girls, tweens and teens were also taking eye fulls. Some giggled but that was it.
The people who were really complaining were the adult women! Now I get it because what this lady was wearing really was minimal and some people don't want their kids seeing someone's ass on full display, but I think jealousy was also a catalyst for some.
As for our kids (teen twin girls), they wear the more typically American cheeky suits. I am kind of whatever about it and so is my wife, but we have caught people looking at them who shouldn't be. I don't say anything because nobody has ever approached then or gotten close enough to "accidentally" brush up against them, but they do get the looks and they know it. It's there choice but they do have to at least be aware of what is happening around them

Why don't you be the parent and tell them to wear better bathing suits? Why are you choosing not to parent your kids?

We have found it better to just let them roam like free range chickens. The butt cheeks don't bug me although admittedly I thought the days of seeing that much of their bodies was in the past. The heroin parties sometimes get out of hand, but what are you gonna do? Chill out Oprah

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

Drug murders and street crime are also popular in Miami and Rio - it’s not persuasive to say teens wear thongs there.

Also, if you’ve ACTUALLY been to Brazil, you’d know that most people are not wearing thongs. They just wear normal bathing suits. The men wear more briefs, but even they were board shorts.

Stop projecting your weird fantasies on other countries.

Read the post and tell me where it says teens wear thongs in Brazil.



I hate how small the front has gotten. Women aren’t just standing there posing. They are moving around, swimming, doesn’t take much for that to move

I meant this thong bottom …

This is a micro-bikini and not very common at the public pool.

But based on the logic deployed here for cheeky bikinis there's no reason 15yos shouldn't be wearing them at public pools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I find troubling about it is body positivity and fashion and trends always seem to err on the side of girls and women being half naked while men are well covered.


Hmmmm…pretty convenient.

If this is feminism and body positivity and sticking it to the man, well it kind of sucks.

As for OP, I’d just let her wear it but let her know she might get some comments and looks she doesn’t like and how to handle them.

And body positivity doesn't mean you HAVE to display your body, it means you shouldn't feel ashamed of your body. Being proud of who you are and what you look like has nothing to do with whether or not you were skimpy clothes.

I agree, but teens and tweens are generally not capable of making independent decisions. All my 13-year old wants to wear is whatever she things everyone else will wear. If that's a baggy shirt, fine. If that's a crop top, fine. I think we're all blinking at reality a little bit when we say that, oh, these girls have agency and are making choices and we should support that. And I agree with PP that it's, to say the least, odd, that boys choices almost uniformly result in them wearing comfortable modest clothes, whereas girls' "choices" result in them wearing stuff that's creeping up their ass into their buttcrack. Maybe they are all choosing that as an empowered body-positive step. Or maybe some creepy old men in charge of the fashion industry have decided that's what to sell them, and they all follow along because they are terrified of being different at that age.

I have another daughter who is borderline autistic and doesn't care much what other people think, and she never chooses the thing that is creeping up her butt.

I'm not OP, and I'm not fighting this battle with my teen, but I am observing that fashion is still selling women and girls an image of themselves that is very tied to the male gaze. I just don't believe that this is the end-goal for feminism.

+1

I mean… think about it. Who are the ultimate winners in the sex positive women, anything goes ladies! movement (ahem anal and choking and all sorts of other ridiculous crap that no one will ever convince me the average woman would ever choose to do if it weren’t for societal pressure), and the birth control revolution, and the “sex work is WORK!” nonsense? Answer: MEN.

Gullible women are taking their BS hook, line, and sinker. There is a huge expanse between virginal prude and whatever is happening these days. But no, if one doesn’t agree with going to one extreme that must mean one is the other extreme.

If woman want to wear ridiculously small things, that's fine and I can see how that's freeing and whatever... but you should not be naive about what men are thinking. And it's nothing you would ever want to do anything to encourage anyone ever to think about your daughter. So, celebrate the freedom that you CAN wear anything, but please, please think twice before you let your daughters do it.

Op here. Thank you. DD is our first child and we are navigating this. She is a cute kid with a muscular body gained through her activities. She likes boys and has been on dates (supervised ) but she still has a baby tooth and still likes to hug her teddy as she falls asleep.
I was hoping that coming here would help and thankfully it has. We were looking for experienced folks to give us insight. I didn't expect to get into a gender battle. I don't even think it is necessary to do so.

She’s 15 and you are treating her like a baby and behaving poorly. Bringing up sex offenders is unreal. Raising her to feel like her clothes demean her and could get her assaulted?!? Yuck

Mom of 14, 18, and 22yr old girls

They could get her assaulted. You are behaving poorly. You could have just shared what you thought without putting me down. But you couldn't huh?

I don't want to get between you two, but you are right, they could get her assaulted.

No, they could assault her. Nothing about her behavior causes her to “get assaulted.”

Yes!
You know what gets someone assaulted? Someone who assaults them.
That’s it. Stop saying that girls who wear clothing you don’t approve of deserve to get assaulted or raped or creeped on by other sexual predators.

They don't deserve to get creeped on, but they will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the fashion and they don't blink an eye at it just like we don't blink an eye at seeing women's ankles when in certain times and cultures it would be horrifying. As for their parents seeing them, they really don't care about that either. Why should they be embarrassed? She doesn't feel like she's flashing people. You do have problems if you find this disturbing.

Go look at a ton of pictures of competitive divers. Go to brazil. This is a you problem and not a her problem. Personally I did a double-take the first few times and now it doesn't even register as a pool norm.

You don’t need to go to Brazil they are becoming common here. Miami beaches are full of topless females with thong bottoms. I wouldn’t want a teen to wear it.

Isn’t a bumkini a wax job in the bum area?

Drug murders and street crime are also popular in Miami and Rio - it’s not persuasive to say teens wear thongs there.

Also, if you’ve ACTUALLY been to Brazil, you’d know that most people are not wearing thongs. They just wear normal bathing suits. The men wear more briefs, but even they were board shorts.

Stop projecting your weird fantasies on other countries.

Read the post and tell me where it says teens wear thongs in Brazil.



I hate how small the front has gotten. Women aren’t just standing there posing. They are moving around, swimming, doesn’t take much for that to move

I meant this thong bottom …

This is a micro-bikini and not very common at the public pool.

But based on the logic deployed here for cheeky bikinis there's no reason 15yos shouldn't be wearing them at public pools.

Why not just let teen girls go to public pools completely naked? It's men's faults if they look!

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe we have this debate every week over a few inches of skin.

Nearly all swim suits in our culture, even the modest ones, even my one piece with cap sleeves, are form fitting and show a lot of skin. You can still see my butt cheeks even though they’re mostly covered. They show the contours of the body and allow one to easily imagine what an individual looks like naked.

Guess what? Unless the teen girls are wearing burkinis, they’re getting male sexual attention. The dads are trying to avert their eyes. The teen boys (and some teen girl peers) are noting who has the great t*ts and big butts and talking about it with their friends. The lecherous pervs are taking mental pictures to crank their hog to later. And someone who aims to sexually assault a teen girl will not be stopped by a more modest swimsuit. It’s just not how it works. Thong, bikini, hipster, it doesn’t matter. Teen girls, in swimsuits or otherwise, get male attention with their bodies. That’s just how the world works.

And the only ones who are judging a teen over whether her whole cheek is out or just part of it are other women, mostly unhappy and middle aged, and maybe a few mean teen girls.