Does your community pool have a dress code?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It awkward for families. My kids say things like - I can see her butt. I tell them to move along, but I wish they wore bathing suits that covers their butts. It’s the same at Whole Foods. Why are some shoppers in a bra and hot pants? It’s not a gym. People don’t wear clothes anymore.

Thank you. The emperor has no clothes in this situation (literally), and children are the only ones who will point it out. People are showing parts of their body that are not socially acceptable to show anywhere else in our culture.

Kids will also say, hey they are fat or why is that kid in a wheelchair or her hair is purple.

So what, your the one the puts some insane meaning to those children's observations.

NP here. My kids never say those things bc they know it’s inappropriate and unkind to comment on body size, disabilities, and/or differences in physical appearance. They do comment on people exposing themselves in public.

Great so they haven’t learned to generalize. That’s not uncommon and why you keep parenting. If your kid was capable of learning the former they could learn the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no desire to police girls’ bodies but privately, viscerally, I don’t like it. I don’t think it is great. And of course it is about sexuality/attention for girls.

I find that the older I get the less I have even a private reaction to it. It could be because my own kids are small and I'm just in a very de-sexualized bodies place, so maybe when they're older I'll care again. But when I'm at the pool I'm just happy if people are happy. I don't care if they wear thongs. I knew their butts were in there the whole time! I'm also happy for them that it's about sexuality/attention - of course it is! That's a very important part of life. Go nuts, girlies. Stay safe but enjoy. Honestly I mostly love watching teens flirting with each other at the pool. If the older men at our pool are thinking anything inappropriate, they're doing a good job hiding it and I've never seen anyone behave inappropriately. And of course if they were going to do that, a one piece would not stop them and a thong does not make the wearer responsible for anyone else's actions.

This thread is making me grateful that this is not my hang up. I used to be so stressed about my own body at the pool, and for right now I am not really stressed about anyone's. It is a very happy pool season for me. I really hope I don't start to get irritated by bikinis. I'm already irritated by so much, I don't have room.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Cheeky bottoms are one thing. THe suit that made me write the post was a bikini bottom thong showing two full cheeks that looked like underwear. She looked good but I have two boys, one a teenager. If I'm supposed to be keeping him safe from explicit images on the internet why is he seeing near-nudity at the pool?

[Anonymous]

OP stop being such a prude. *Yawns*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Cheeky bottoms are one thing. THe suit that made me write the post was a bikini bottom thong showing two full cheeks that looked like underwear. She looked good but I have two boys, one a teenager. If I'm supposed to be keeping him safe from explicit images on the internet why is he seeing near-nudity at the pool?

This does not help your case, op. Why don’t you teach your teen son that staring is rude, and when talking to a girl, keep his eyes on her face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It awkward for families. My kids say things like - I can see her butt. I tell them to move along, but I wish they wore bathing suits that covers their butts. It’s the same at Whole Foods. Why are some shoppers in a bra and hot pants? It’s not a gym. People don’t wear clothes anymore.

Why is this awkward for you? Your kid says “I can see her butt” and you say “Yes, I expect she likes that style of swimsuit. Don’t comment on other people’s appearances and style choices.”

"Yeah son, her entire @sshole is hanging out."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Cheeky bottoms are one thing. THe suit that made me write the post was a bikini bottom thong showing two full cheeks that looked like underwear. She looked good but I have two boys, one a teenager. If I'm supposed to be keeping him safe from explicit images on the internet why is he seeing near-nudity at the pool?

Is the pool a necessity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Cheeky bottoms are one thing. THe suit that made me write the post was a bikini bottom thong showing two full cheeks that looked like underwear. She looked good but I have two boys, one a teenager. If I'm supposed to be keeping him safe from explicit images on the internet why is he seeing near-nudity at the pool?

I think you can relax about anything he can see in person that wasn’t illegal.

[Anonymous]

omg if this poor OP ever finds out what her teen sons have seen on the internet

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omg if this poor OP ever finds out what her teen sons have seen on the internet

Do you really want your daughters being associated with the images you seen on the internet when boys go surfing for wanking material?

Therein lies the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It awkward for families. My kids say things like - I can see her butt. I tell them to move along, but I wish they wore bathing suits that covers their butts. It’s the same at Whole Foods. Why are some shoppers in a bra and hot pants? It’s not a gym. People don’t wear clothes anymore.

Thank you. The emperor has no clothes in this situation (literally), and children are the only ones who will point it out. People are showing parts of their body that are not socially acceptable to show anywhere else in our culture.

Kids will also say, hey they are fat or why is that kid in a wheelchair or her hair is purple.

So what, your the one the puts some insane meaning to those children's observations.

NP here. My kids never say those things bc they know it’s inappropriate and unkind to comment on body size, disabilities, and/or differences in physical appearance. They do comment on people exposing themselves in public.

Wow you let them comment on people's clothing? Thats bizarre - do they point out headscarfs? people that wear gender non-conforming clothes?

I said nothing about clothing. They comment on people exposing themselves in public.

No one is "exposing themselves in public" while they are wearing a swimsuit at a pool. Why do you hate women? And think they should wear clothing that only you (and apparently your children) deem as appropriate? Instead of just teaching your children respect?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Cheeky bottoms are one thing. THe suit that made me write the post was a bikini bottom thong showing two full cheeks that looked like underwear. She looked good but I have two boys, one a teenager. If I'm supposed to be keeping him safe from explicit images on the internet why is he seeing near-nudity at the pool?

Cheeks are not explicit, and he is definitely, definitely seeing these pictures. Every victorias secret billboard shows this or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no desire to police girls’ bodies but privately, viscerally, I don’t like it. I don’t think it is great. And of course it is about sexuality/attention for girls.

I find that the older I get the less I have even a private reaction to it. It could be because my own kids are small and I'm just in a very de-sexualized bodies place, so maybe when they're older I'll care again. But when I'm at the pool I'm just happy if people are happy. I don't care if they wear thongs. I knew their butts were in there the whole time! I'm also happy for them that it's about sexuality/attention - of course it is! That's a very important part of life. Go nuts, girlies. Stay safe but enjoy. Honestly I mostly love watching teens flirting with each other at the pool. If the older men at our pool are thinking anything inappropriate, they're doing a good job hiding it and I've never seen anyone behave inappropriately. And of course if they were going to do that, a one piece would not stop them and a thong does not make the wearer responsible for anyone else's actions.

This thread is making me grateful that this is not my hang up. I used to be so stressed about my own body at the pool, and for right now I am not really stressed about anyone's. It is a very happy pool season for me. I really hope I don't start to get irritated by bikinis. I'm already irritated by so much, I don't have room.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Cheeky bottoms are one thing. THe suit that made me write the post was a bikini bottom thong showing two full cheeks that looked like underwear. She looked good but I have two boys, one a teenager. If I'm supposed to be keeping him safe from explicit images on the internet why is he seeing near-nudity at the pool?

If your son is a pervert then you've failed as a parent. Maybe you should work on this instead of policing other girls/women.

[Anonymous]

Do you really want your daughters being associated with the images you seen on the internet when boys go surfing for wanking material?

I do not think about how my choices, fashion or otherwise, compare to 'wanking material' of some random people.

However, dividing women into 'wanking material types' and 'nice wives and daughters' really rubs me the wrong way.