Just for laughs - a sex talk with my tween

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

You are so utterly uninformed, I don't even know where to begin. I'm guessing you're a guy who just doesn't have a clue.

- look it up. oral sex is a much lower risk for STIs.
- look it up. many/most women find oral sex to be integral to their enjoyment of sex
- the “emotional impact” thing is entirely subjective and depends mainly on people being pressured to do something they don’t want to do (oral or otherwise).

LOOK IT UP: herpes, HPV, yeast infections, UTIs just to name a few. There is virtually no difference between the risk of oral and intercourse other than pregnancy, BRO. You sound like a sexual predator, actually.

they’ve researched it - there’s basically no HIV risk in oral sex. of course you CAN get other STDs but the rate is really low. how many among us actually use dental dams, lol. HPV is probably the biggest risk but you’re getting your kid vaccinated, right?

Never mentioned HIV. And no the rate is not very low. Again, you keep coming back with more and more dumb stuff. Not sure if you're advocating that 11 year old girls should have oral sex at this point because it's safer or that they shouldn't learn about it at all. Either way, you sound like a creep.

So the only way to be non-creepy here is to talk to your daughter in a very negative way about oral sex at a young age? I truly believe that kind of approach is actually a way to make girls/young women less secure and knowledgeable about sex, not more.

It’s a fact that women enjoy oral sex. Also a fact that in many respects oral sex is less risky. Now I am not saying *at all* that this is the kind of discussion to have with an 11 year old girl. But I also think it’s wrong to just couch it in scare tactic one-sides terms (“oral sex means boys will try to force you to give gross blow jobs!!!”)

If I had a daughter (I only have a DS) I would probably at 11 be more focused on bodily autonomy and on a very general level that “sex is supposed to feel good” and that people have sex in different ways. The main thing I’d want her to know is that she has a right to say no to anything.

Who is talking negatively about sex? Educating them about STDs, pregnancy, emotional risks, etc is your job as a parent. It's your duty. Presenting the facts is the opposite of being negative.

I guess you're right that it's less risky in one respect which is that it doesn't result in pregnancy. Everything else is pretty equal.

Presenting inaccurate or one-sided facts isn’t “educating.” Your facts are not actually facts.

No idea what you're talking about. OP didn't misrepresent or misstate anything. She did an excellent job presenting facts in an age-appropriate way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old had “puberty education” recently and was pretty open to discussing things she’d learned. In our district they then do additional sex Ed in eighth grade.

I decided she should know about oral as well since I’ve read about that being a thing some middle schoolers engage in and - while she has zero interest in any sexual activity now - I know things can change.

After telling her about this her reaction was horrified / “what?!? Why would anyone do that?!?”

I said that, as far as I’m concerned, if two adults consent to behavior where it’s respectful and safe and no one is hurt they can “dress up in cow costumes and moo at each other and I wouldn’t care.”
My DD’s reaction was “well that at least sounds like it would actually be fun!”

That the wins the “most awesome response of the year” award.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

You are so utterly uninformed, I don't even know where to begin. I'm guessing you're a guy who just doesn't have a clue.

- look it up. oral sex is a much lower risk for STIs.
- look it up. many/most women find oral sex to be integral to their enjoyment of sex
- the “emotional impact” thing is entirely subjective and depends mainly on people being pressured to do something they don’t want to do (oral or otherwise).

LOOK IT UP: herpes, HPV, yeast infections, UTIs just to name a few. There is virtually no difference between the risk of oral and intercourse other than pregnancy, BRO. You sound like a sexual predator, actually.

they’ve researched it - there’s basically no HIV risk in oral sex. of course you CAN get other STDs but the rate is really low. how many among us actually use dental dams, lol. HPV is probably the biggest risk but you’re getting your kid vaccinated, right?

Never mentioned HIV. And no the rate is not very low. Again, you keep coming back with more and more dumb stuff. Not sure if you're advocating that 11 year old girls should have oral sex at this point because it's safer or that they shouldn't learn about it at all. Either way, you sound like a creep.

So the only way to be non-creepy here is to talk to your daughter in a very negative way about oral sex at a young age? I truly believe that kind of approach is actually a way to make girls/young women less secure and knowledgeable about sex, not more.

It’s a fact that women enjoy oral sex. Also a fact that in many respects oral sex is less risky. Now I am not saying *at all* that this is the kind of discussion to have with an 11 year old girl. But I also think it’s wrong to just couch it in scare tactic one-sides terms (“oral sex means boys will try to force you to give gross blow jobs!!!”)

If I had a daughter (I only have a DS) I would probably at 11 be more focused on bodily autonomy and on a very general level that “sex is supposed to feel good” and that people have sex in different ways. The main thing I’d want her to know is that she has a right to say no to anything.

Who is talking negatively about sex? Educating them about STDs, pregnancy, emotional risks, etc is your job as a parent. It's your duty. Presenting the facts is the opposite of being negative.

I guess you're right that it's less risky in one respect which is that it doesn't result in pregnancy. Everything else is pretty equal.

Presenting inaccurate or one-sided facts isn’t “educating.” Your facts are not actually facts.

+1
OP scared her clueless 11yo and thinks that this talk is going to be a major point of reference for her daughter as she becomes sexually active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my 11 yo kid got the same talk and had the same reaction, lol. Don't listen to the people who want kids to be ignorant until it's too late. She has 12 yos in her class and there are unfortunately kids watching porn or even sexually active at that age.

A couple years ago, my 11-12 year old cried actual tears and screamed "I didn't need to know all of this! I will never be the same!" when his dad told him. I hope he finds it disgusting for several more years.

Why is your husband sexually abusing your child?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

You are so utterly uninformed, I don't even know where to begin. I'm guessing you're a guy who just doesn't have a clue.

- look it up. oral sex is a much lower risk for STIs.
- look it up. many/most women find oral sex to be integral to their enjoyment of sex
- the “emotional impact” thing is entirely subjective and depends mainly on people being pressured to do something they don’t want to do (oral or otherwise).

LOOK IT UP: herpes, HPV, yeast infections, UTIs just to name a few. There is virtually no difference between the risk of oral and intercourse other than pregnancy, BRO. You sound like a sexual predator, actually.

they’ve researched it - there’s basically no HIV risk in oral sex. of course you CAN get other STDs but the rate is really low. how many among us actually use dental dams, lol. HPV is probably the biggest risk but you’re getting your kid vaccinated, right?

Never mentioned HIV. And no the rate is not very low. Again, you keep coming back with more and more dumb stuff. Not sure if you're advocating that 11 year old girls should have oral sex at this point because it's safer or that they shouldn't learn about it at all. Either way, you sound like a creep.

So the only way to be non-creepy here is to talk to your daughter in a very negative way about oral sex at a young age? I truly believe that kind of approach is actually a way to make girls/young women less secure and knowledgeable about sex, not more.

It’s a fact that women enjoy oral sex. Also a fact that in many respects oral sex is less risky. Now I am not saying *at all* that this is the kind of discussion to have with an 11 year old girl. But I also think it’s wrong to just couch it in scare tactic one-sides terms (“oral sex means boys will try to force you to give gross blow jobs!!!”)

If I had a daughter (I only have a DS) I would probably at 11 be more focused on bodily autonomy and on a very general level that “sex is supposed to feel good” and that people have sex in different ways. The main thing I’d want her to know is that she has a right to say no to anything.

Who is talking negatively about sex? Educating them about STDs, pregnancy, emotional risks, etc is your job as a parent. It's your duty. Presenting the facts is the opposite of being negative.

I guess you're right that it's less risky in one respect which is that it doesn't result in pregnancy. Everything else is pretty equal.

Presenting inaccurate or one-sided facts isn’t “educating.” Your facts are not actually facts.

+1
OP scared her clueless 11yo and thinks that this talk is going to be a major point of reference for her daughter as she becomes sexually active.

nice sock puppeting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

You are so utterly uninformed, I don't even know where to begin. I'm guessing you're a guy who just doesn't have a clue.

- look it up. oral sex is a much lower risk for STIs.
- look it up. many/most women find oral sex to be integral to their enjoyment of sex
- the “emotional impact” thing is entirely subjective and depends mainly on people being pressured to do something they don’t want to do (oral or otherwise).

LOOK IT UP: herpes, HPV, yeast infections, UTIs just to name a few. There is virtually no difference between the risk of oral and intercourse other than pregnancy, BRO. You sound like a sexual predator, actually.

they’ve researched it - there’s basically no HIV risk in oral sex. of course you CAN get other STDs but the rate is really low. how many among us actually use dental dams, lol. HPV is probably the biggest risk but you’re getting your kid vaccinated, right?

Never mentioned HIV. And no the rate is not very low. Again, you keep coming back with more and more dumb stuff. Not sure if you're advocating that 11 year old girls should have oral sex at this point because it's safer or that they shouldn't learn about it at all. Either way, you sound like a creep.

So the only way to be non-creepy here is to talk to your daughter in a very negative way about oral sex at a young age? I truly believe that kind of approach is actually a way to make girls/young women less secure and knowledgeable about sex, not more.

It’s a fact that women enjoy oral sex. Also a fact that in many respects oral sex is less risky. Now I am not saying *at all* that this is the kind of discussion to have with an 11 year old girl. But I also think it’s wrong to just couch it in scare tactic one-sides terms (“oral sex means boys will try to force you to give gross blow jobs!!!”)

If I had a daughter (I only have a DS) I would probably at 11 be more focused on bodily autonomy and on a very general level that “sex is supposed to feel good” and that people have sex in different ways. The main thing I’d want her to know is that she has a right to say no to anything.

Who is talking negatively about sex? Educating them about STDs, pregnancy, emotional risks, etc is your job as a parent. It's your duty. Presenting the facts is the opposite of being negative.

I guess you're right that it's less risky in one respect which is that it doesn't result in pregnancy. Everything else is pretty equal.

Presenting inaccurate or one-sided facts isn’t “educating.” Your facts are not actually facts.

+1
OP scared her clueless 11yo and thinks that this talk is going to be a major point of reference for her daughter as she becomes sexually active.

Her DD learned that it's okay to talk to Mom about these things. Guess who she's going to come to when she needs help?

Not like the "don't ask, don't tell" parents. How is your kid going to talk to you? Oh, wait. Maybe that was the idea. To prove you're not a helicopter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

You are so utterly uninformed, I don't even know where to begin. I'm guessing you're a guy who just doesn't have a clue.

- look it up. oral sex is a much lower risk for STIs.
- look it up. many/most women find oral sex to be integral to their enjoyment of sex
- the “emotional impact” thing is entirely subjective and depends mainly on people being pressured to do something they don’t want to do (oral or otherwise).

LOOK IT UP: herpes, HPV, yeast infections, UTIs just to name a few. There is virtually no difference between the risk of oral and intercourse other than pregnancy, BRO. You sound like a sexual predator, actually.

they’ve researched it - there’s basically no HIV risk in oral sex. of course you CAN get other STDs but the rate is really low. how many among us actually use dental dams, lol. HPV is probably the biggest risk but you’re getting your kid vaccinated, right?

Never mentioned HIV. And no the rate is not very low. Again, you keep coming back with more and more dumb stuff. Not sure if you're advocating that 11 year old girls should have oral sex at this point because it's safer or that they shouldn't learn about it at all. Either way, you sound like a creep.

So the only way to be non-creepy here is to talk to your daughter in a very negative way about oral sex at a young age? I truly believe that kind of approach is actually a way to make girls/young women less secure and knowledgeable about sex, not more.

It’s a fact that women enjoy oral sex. Also a fact that in many respects oral sex is less risky. Now I am not saying *at all* that this is the kind of discussion to have with an 11 year old girl. But I also think it’s wrong to just couch it in scare tactic one-sides terms (“oral sex means boys will try to force you to give gross blow jobs!!!”)

If I had a daughter (I only have a DS) I would probably at 11 be more focused on bodily autonomy and on a very general level that “sex is supposed to feel good” and that people have sex in different ways. The main thing I’d want her to know is that she has a right to say no to anything.

Who is talking negatively about sex? Educating them about STDs, pregnancy, emotional risks, etc is your job as a parent. It's your duty. Presenting the facts is the opposite of being negative.

I guess you're right that it's less risky in one respect which is that it doesn't result in pregnancy. Everything else is pretty equal.

Presenting inaccurate or one-sided facts isn’t “educating.” Your facts are not actually facts.

+1
OP scared her clueless 11yo and thinks that this talk is going to be a major point of reference for her daughter as she becomes sexually active.

Her DD learned that it's okay to talk to Mom about these things. Guess who she's going to come to when she needs help?

Not like the "don't ask, don't tell" parents. How is your kid going to talk to you? Oh, wait. Maybe that was the idea. To prove you're not a helicopter.

What things? DD wanted to talk about her class and her mother pushed her on agenda, despite clearly recognizing that child had no interest in it. Maybe she will want to talk to her mom, maybe she will try to avoid getting TMI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

You are so utterly uninformed, I don't even know where to begin. I'm guessing you're a guy who just doesn't have a clue.

- look it up. oral sex is a much lower risk for STIs.
- look it up. many/most women find oral sex to be integral to their enjoyment of sex
- the “emotional impact” thing is entirely subjective and depends mainly on people being pressured to do something they don’t want to do (oral or otherwise).

LOOK IT UP: herpes, HPV, yeast infections, UTIs just to name a few. There is virtually no difference between the risk of oral and intercourse other than pregnancy, BRO. You sound like a sexual predator, actually.

they’ve researched it - there’s basically no HIV risk in oral sex. of course you CAN get other STDs but the rate is really low. how many among us actually use dental dams, lol. HPV is probably the biggest risk but you’re getting your kid vaccinated, right?

Never mentioned HIV. And no the rate is not very low. Again, you keep coming back with more and more dumb stuff. Not sure if you're advocating that 11 year old girls should have oral sex at this point because it's safer or that they shouldn't learn about it at all. Either way, you sound like a creep.

So the only way to be non-creepy here is to talk to your daughter in a very negative way about oral sex at a young age? I truly believe that kind of approach is actually a way to make girls/young women less secure and knowledgeable about sex, not more.

It’s a fact that women enjoy oral sex. Also a fact that in many respects oral sex is less risky. Now I am not saying *at all* that this is the kind of discussion to have with an 11 year old girl. But I also think it’s wrong to just couch it in scare tactic one-sides terms (“oral sex means boys will try to force you to give gross blow jobs!!!”)

If I had a daughter (I only have a DS) I would probably at 11 be more focused on bodily autonomy and on a very general level that “sex is supposed to feel good” and that people have sex in different ways. The main thing I’d want her to know is that she has a right to say no to anything.

Who is talking negatively about sex? Educating them about STDs, pregnancy, emotional risks, etc is your job as a parent. It's your duty. Presenting the facts is the opposite of being negative.

I guess you're right that it's less risky in one respect which is that it doesn't result in pregnancy. Everything else is pretty equal.

Presenting inaccurate or one-sided facts isn’t “educating.” Your facts are not actually facts.

+1
OP scared her clueless 11yo and thinks that this talk is going to be a major point of reference for her daughter as she becomes sexually active.

Her DD learned that it's okay to talk to Mom about these things. Guess who she's going to come to when she needs help?

Not like the "don't ask, don't tell" parents. How is your kid going to talk to you? Oh, wait. Maybe that was the idea. To prove you're not a helicopter.

What things? DD wanted to talk about her class and her mother pushed her on agenda, despite clearly recognizing that child had no interest in it. Maybe she will want to talk to her mom, maybe she will try to avoid getting TMI.

When a parent talks to a child, there is no "agenda" What a strange word to use in a parent child relationship? Do I have an "agenda" to make sure my kids eat more vegetables?

When her kid needs to talk about sex, she knows mom isn't going to be upset. What's so hard for you to understand?

[Anonymous]

Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

CRINGE

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

CRINGE

Are you 11 also? Or hoping that WWJD bracelet will do all the heavy lifting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

Wait, so parents aren’t supposed to talk to their kids about sex in more than basic general terms, but kids are supposed to instinctually understand that oral sex is sex and comes with many of the same risks, emotional or otherwise, as intercourse?

what are the risks of oral sex? weird take.

Many STDs are transmitted through oral sex, it carries the same emotional and physical risks as intercourse. Are you really this dumb?

Oral sex is in fact much lower risk of disease. As for “emotional” risk - that’s pretty subjective and I’m not sure I agree. The real issue is being pressured into anything you don’t want. This also ignores that many women enjoy oral sex.

If it comes down to scaring your 11 year old about blow jobs - no, I do not think that is age-appropriate, accuate sex ed.

Ha. Speak to dentists. Lots of diseases can come from oral

They know who’s having tons of oral sex just by the tissues in the back of the throat, and dentists often report lots of SA as well for abused kids . They are unsung heroes of SA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.