Just for laughs - a sex talk with my tween

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

Do you ever use dental dams? While there is a risk in practice it really isn’t one people pay attention to. HPV vax is probably the important thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

Do you ever use dental dams? While there is a risk in practice it really isn’t one people pay attention to. HPV vax is probably the important thing.

How about herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and even HIV CAN be transmitted through oral sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

Do you ever use dental dams? While there is a risk in practice it really isn’t one people pay attention to. HPV vax is probably the important thing.

How about herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and even HIV CAN be transmitted through oral sex?

per CDC, HIV is extremely low risk. And the point is not that there is no risk, but that it is in fact lower than other types of sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

Do you ever use dental dams? While there is a risk in practice it really isn’t one people pay attention to. HPV vax is probably the important thing.

How about herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and even HIV CAN be transmitted through oral sex?

per CDC, HIV is extremely low risk. And the point is not that there is no risk, but that it is in fact lower than other types of sex.

you are so weirdly fixated on HIV even though there is still a risk of transmitting it through oral. but apparently, the rest are ok for you to contract?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

Oral sex IS "actual sex." The fact that you used the word "actual" means you should be disqualified from talking to children, really anyone, about this.

If you wish to differentiate from sexual intercourse, that's one thing. But suggesting oral sex is anything other than "actual sex" is disinformation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

Oral sex IS "actual sex." The fact that you used the word "actual" means you should be disqualified from talking to children, really anyone, about this.

If you wish to differentiate from sexual intercourse, that's one thing. But suggesting oral sex is anything other than "actual sex" is disinformation.

Please tell me where in the essence of what I said, I didn't state the same as you are stating. You are pissing in the wind arguing semantics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?