Just for laughs - a sex talk with my tween

[Anonymous]

Beginning to understand why some elect to home-school their kids if 6 year olds are being exposed to sex acts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

What is the point of this post ?

Just let young kids know about good touch/bad touch. No need to teach 6 year olds about specific sexual acts.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

but all this would be prevented if only parents talked to their 4 year olds about oral sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

Oh my lord you could not be more wrong on this point. There is VERY GOOD data that thorough and clear education on all things frisky helps keep kids safe. It's the exact same way every other subject in education works. If kids don't learn about money, they don't know how to handle it and at some point feel ashamed they don't understand and will not ask. If kids don't learn about how to cross the street safely, they can get hit. You don't "let their friend teach them" those things. THIS IS THE SAME. It also opens dialogue with parents which is incredibly important. Other children are a terrible source of accurate biological information. Many adults don't even understand the menstrual cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beginning to understand why some elect to home-school their kids if 6 year olds are being exposed to sex acts.

Children have a much higher change of being abused in their own home than at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

Oh my lord you could not be more wrong on this point. There is VERY GOOD data that thorough and clear education on all things frisky helps keep kids safe. It's the exact same way every other subject in education works. If kids don't learn about money, they don't know how to handle it and at some point feel ashamed they don't understand and will not ask. If kids don't learn about how to cross the street safely, they can get hit. You don't "let their friend teach them" those things. THIS IS THE SAME. It also opens dialogue with parents which is incredibly important. Other children are a terrible source of accurate biological information. Many adults don't even understand the menstrual cycle.

Sure but you don’t actually have to teach your child about all the different sex acts … 11 is young for that. As they are a bit older (maybe 13-14) seems more appropriate to discuss in terms of different risk levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

What is the point of this post ?

Just let young kids know about good touch/bad touch. No need to teach 6 year olds about specific sexual acts.

The point is that OP wasn’t “pushing oral sex” on her 11 year old; she’s educating her child in an age appropriate way and making sure the lines of communication are open, so that her child knows they can come to her with questions. It’s a bad idea to pretend an 11 year old won’t know anything about oral sex as long as parents keep it a secret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

What is the point of this post ?

Just let young kids know about good touch/bad touch. No need to teach 6 year olds about specific sexual acts.

The point is that OP wasn’t “pushing oral sex” on her 11 year old; she’s educating her child in an age appropriate way and making sure the lines of communication are open, so that her child knows they can come to her with questions. It’s a bad idea to pretend an 11 year old won’t know anything about oral sex as long as parents keep it a secret.

is it keeping it a secret or just not talking about explicit things with your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

What is the point of this post ?

Just let young kids know about good touch/bad touch. No need to teach 6 year olds about specific sexual acts.

The point is that OP wasn’t “pushing oral sex” on her 11 year old; she’s educating her child in an age appropriate way and making sure the lines of communication are open, so that her child knows they can come to her with questions. It’s a bad idea to pretend an 11 year old won’t know anything about oral sex as long as parents keep it a secret.

according to OP, her child has no interest in sex, she pushed the topic on her because "she she read some middle schoolers are doing it". i sure hope she cover threesomes, choking etc as well, because someone somewhere is doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

if you are kids are so dumb to believe stuff like this, no lectures are not going to help them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

Really, REALLY NOT. Parents who choose to pretend their kids are not curious, don't explore, and don't look up stuff on the internet are the problem. Parents who openly talk with their children about HEALTH stuff are not the problem. But keep sticking your head in the sand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

Part of parenting is to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids. Feel free to call it lecturing but it is my job as a parent. As the parent of MS aged girls it is important for them to know that sex encompasses multiple activities so they understand when someone tries to clumsily talk them into something by saying “it’s not really sex, so it’s fine”. But I’m sure burying your head in the sand about what tweens should know about sex will work out great for you.

Weird take on female sexuality. What girls actually should know about oral sex is that it is a way that many women find sex the most satisfying; and that it is comparatively low risk. As for being pressured to give boys oral sex - that seems like part of a larger conversation about how to not be pressured into anything you don’t want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

You are a moron. I hope your teen doesn't get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

Really, REALLY NOT. Parents who choose to pretend their kids are not curious, don't explore, and don't look up stuff on the internet are the problem. Parents who openly talk with their children about HEALTH stuff are not the problem. But keep sticking your head in the sand.

So are you telling your 11 year old that oral sex is enjoyable and lower risk? I’m still confused by what this particular conversation is supposed to be about. Seems like a lot for 11.