Just for laughs - a sex talk with my tween

[Anonymous]

My then 10 yr old DC came home one day after learning about family life, and said to me with a totally serious face, "Mom, I survived puberty." I looked at DC, and said very seriously, "DC, I also survived puberty". And DC said, "You did?"

LOL We had the birds and bees talk when they were 8 but didn't delve too deeply about puberty, only about how babies are made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

Really they are supposed to "learn" from other kids? Sure those kids have your child"s best interest in mind

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

Educating your child is not "pushing sex." Not discussing it leaves your child ignorant, unprepared and vulnerable. Good job OP! I am shocked by the parents with their heads in the sand who think, "if I don't talk about sex to my child, it won't exist in their world."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of my strongest memories of 2nd grade is the indoor recess when a bunch of kids gathered in the corner and started talking about sex. What we heard, what we’d seen— and the misinformation was wild.

+1 I had heard that "sleeping with a boy" got you pregnant, so I thought if you literally slept on the same bed under the same covers, you could get pregnant.

I am a huge advocate of having that talk with your kids when they are in ES because kids hear stuff. My parents never talked to us about any of this stuff. I don't want my children to learn false information; they do enough of that in other areas thanks to friends and the internet -- they are late teens now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old had “puberty education” recently and was pretty open to discussing things she’d learned. In our district they then do additional sex Ed in eighth grade.

I decided she should know about oral as well since I’ve read about that being a thing some middle schoolers engage in and - while she has zero interest in any sexual activity now - I know things can change.

After telling her about this her reaction was horrified / “what?!? Why would anyone do that?!?”

I said that, as far as I’m concerned, if two adults consent to behavior where it’s respectful and safe and no one is hurt they can “dress up in cow costumes and moo at each other and I wouldn’t care.”
My DD’s reaction was “well that at least sounds like it would actually be fun!”

Be very careful. I've read about middle schoolers who identify as cats and use litter boxes in school bathrooms.








(THAT WAS SARCASM, PEOPLE. DON'T COME AT ME.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old had “puberty education” recently and was pretty open to discussing things she’d learned. In our district they then do additional sex Ed in eighth grade.

I decided she should know about oral as well since I’ve read about that being a thing some middle schoolers engage in and - while she has zero interest in any sexual activity now - I know things can change.

After telling her about this her reaction was horrified / “what?!? Why would anyone do that?!?”

I said that, as far as I’m concerned, if two adults consent to behavior where it’s respectful and safe and no one is hurt they can “dress up in cow costumes and moo at each other and I wouldn’t care.”
My DD’s reaction was “well that at least sounds like it would actually be fun!”

why are you pushing oral on your child?

So she knows how to react when you predator of a son shoves his dick in her face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My then 10 yr old DC came home one day after learning about family life, and said to me with a totally serious face, "Mom, I survived puberty." I looked at DC, and said very seriously, "DC, I also survived puberty". And DC said, "You did?"

LOL We had the birds and bees talk when they were 8 but didn't delve too deeply about puberty, only about how babies are made.

oops I told the story wrong.. DC said, "I met someone who survived puberty..", not that DC did. DC didn't start puberty till they were like 14.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

If you don’t want your kid learning from other kids, educate them yourself. I realize that would involve unclutching the pearls and removing the giant stick from your a$$, but I have faith PP. You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My then 10 yr old DC came home one day after learning about family life, and said to me with a totally serious face, "Mom, I survived puberty." I looked at DC, and said very seriously, "DC, I also survived puberty". And DC said, "You did?"

LOL We had the birds and bees talk when they were 8 but didn't delve too deeply about puberty, only about how babies are made.

oops I told the story wrong.. DC said, "I met someone who survived puberty..", not that DC did. DC didn't start puberty till they were like 14.

That’s hilarious. My DS is on the early side of puberty and tends to take things really seriously. I actually felt like people make puberty seem too scary and dramatic so I’ve been kind of playing it down!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

I mean … I don’t think what OP did is wrong, but I also don’t think there’s some kind of imperative to teach kids about every possible sex act. STDs from oral sex are really quite rare unless you’re in the gay community; and oral is lower risk than penetrative sex. So I can see it being part of an overall discussion about STDs but actually as a way to talk about lower-risk activities. Which yeah, seems like a lot for an 11 yr old.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your child is going to school with kids who have phones, it's a race to see who gets explain "things" to your kid. Either you can do it in a loving way or have Jimmy thrust a video of 69 in her face with her having no context about what she's seeing.
Which is more trauma? You choose.

Don't care how upright of a school your kid goes to. This is how it goes down with phones or older siblings doing the educating. Don't stick your head in the sand and leave your kid defenseless.

actually, your parents pushing sex on you is more "trauma". kids are supposed to "learn" this from other kids.

According to whom and why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I told her there was another type of sex I didn’t know if she’d learned about, but that she shouldn’t ever do it if she’s pressured and if someday she chooses to do it she should know you can still catch diseases and need to protect yourself. I’d rather have that conversation when it’s not something she’d consider than wish I had told her later.

yeah, thanks. now your child is going to break the news to my child about all that stuff my child doesn't care about. i am sure she will focus on the exact elements you emphasized and flawlessly relay your perspective.

I would so much rather my kid's friends shared what they learned about this from their parents than from older siblings or TV. If you think your 11 year old isn't going to be hearing about this anyway whether OP educated her daughter or not, then you are part of the problem.

no, parents eager to talk oral sex with their uninterested 11 year olds are the problem.

You know that if you wait until your kid is interested it may already be too late, right?

you know that lectured don't work? that your child doesn't need more more charts and more information?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is the assistant to a school superintendent in the Midwest. There was an older child who had been molested by an uncle. That older child then molested his 6 year old brother. This younger brother then got other first graders to play his secret game (give him oral sex) in the back of the school bus. There were 3 or 4 kids who tried it. This didn’t come to light until one little boy who had been pressured to do it, but had refused, talked to his mom about what he’d been asked to do and how it made him uncomfortable.

There are 11 year olds watching porn. Just because you don’t talk to your kid about oral sex doesn’t mean they aren’t hearing about it.

OP, good for you for empowering your child with information and letting her know she can talk to you about anything.

What is the point of this post ?

Just let young kids know about good touch/bad touch. No need to teach 6 year olds about specific sexual acts.