Just for laughs - a sex talk with my tween

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

You are just too dumb to keep talking to. I hope your children research things on their own and get the actual information.

Can you please correct where I’m wrong there? With evidence?

from the link YOU provided "Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

that would be very inaccurate to say. There is indeed risk of HIV and a host of other STDs.

There’s no HIV risk to a girl/woman getting oral sex. I realize the paradigm people feel more comfortable with is that oral sex is exclusively about boys forcing themselves on girls though.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

that would be very inaccurate to say. There is indeed risk of HIV and a host of other STDs.

There’s no HIV risk to a girl/woman getting oral sex. I realize the paradigm people feel more comfortable with is that oral sex is exclusively about boys forcing themselves on girls though.

Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

You are just too dumb to keep talking to. I hope your children research things on their own and get the actual information.

Can you please correct where I’m wrong there? With evidence?

from the link YOU provided "Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

“little to no risk.” yep. and much less risk than vaginal or anal. and I think there are basically no documented cases of a woman getting HIV from receiving.

either you want to give your kid accurate info or not.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

You are just too dumb to keep talking to. I hope your children research things on their own and get the actual information.

Can you please correct where I’m wrong there? With evidence?

from the link YOU provided "Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

“little to no risk.” yep. and much less risk than vaginal or anal. and I think there are basically no documented cases of a woman getting HIV from receiving.

either you want to give your kid accurate info or not.

Does it say there is NO or ZERO risk? NO!!! Does it say ulcers, bleeding gum, sores, etc increase the risk? YES IT DOES. Are you incapable of reading and comprehension?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

that would be very inaccurate to say. There is indeed risk of HIV and a host of other STDs.

There’s no HIV risk to a girl/woman getting oral sex. I realize the paradigm people feel more comfortable with is that oral sex is exclusively about boys forcing themselves on girls though.

You scare me. If I were religious, I would be praying for your kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm so, so glad that HIV is the only concern regarding oral sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm so, so glad that HIV is the only concern regarding oral sex.

Seriously!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

that would be very inaccurate to say. There is indeed risk of HIV and a host of other STDs.

There’s no HIV risk to a girl/woman getting oral sex. I realize the paradigm people feel more comfortable with is that oral sex is exclusively about boys forcing themselves on girls though.

You scare me. If I were religious, I would be praying for your kids.

that’s … odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

Here you go: “Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.” https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I agree that talking about the *fact* that women like oral sex isn’t appropriate for an 11 year old. But having the conversation in a way that just makes it seem gross and scary is wrong too. That’s why I think it’s better to just be more general or not at all.

WHICH NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!! Stop with the lies.

Also, you keep coming back to HIV. No one is talking about HIV. There are dozens more STDs that are just as easily transmissible via oral sex. Why are you choosing to ignore those?

so nobody should have oral sex? what is your point?

No, dear. But no one should be having oral sex (least of all teens) without knowing all the facts. That is my point. The poster above kept saying there is little to no risk with oral sex which is wildly untrue.

It’s not wildly untrue, not as long as you get Larla the HPV vax. Sorry to burst your sex-negative bubble.

Are you an adult?

Do you think you can get pregnant or HIV from oral sex?

You can absolutely get HIV from oral sex, you twat.

“Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV.”

https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/hiv-prevention/reducing-sexual-risk/preventing-sexual-transmission-of-hiv

I know reading is not your thing, but try again.

"Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

When the CDC says a risk is very low then you know it is VERY low. This would be accurate information to give in sex ed: oral sex is very risk for HIV compared to vaginal and zero risk for pregnancy. That’s not what OP conveyed.

And who is saying otherwise. The fact that you’re willing to gamble with your child’s life like this is extremely telling. And gross. The risk is not zero!!!

You don't decide whether or when your child has oral sex. Do you get that?

Of course, but I’m not dumb enough to tell them that they can’t get HIV or other STDs from it. The whole point of this thread was to say provide accurate infor action to your kids in order to keep them healthy. I’m not sure what your moronic snickering is about.

I’m not sure why you continue to say that about HIV? the risk is none to minimal; and much less than vaginal or anal sex. Our kids deserve accurate information.

Just because you want to believe that despite CDC saying it’s definitely transmissible thought oral sex, doesn’t make it true. And of course our kids deserve accurate information. Saying it’s “none” is not it.

there’s basically zero risk for a girl receiving oral sex. extremely minimal for a girl giving oral sex to a boy. and in both cases much less risky than other forms of sex. it would be accurate to say: “people have oral sex because it feels good. there is no risk of getting pregnant. a girl getting oral sex has no HIV risk but it could spread other STDs. there’s some risk for a girl giving a bou oral sex, but less than other kinds of sex. We got you the HPV vaccine for one common STD that can spread orally. but the important thing to remember is never to feel like you have to do anything sexual you don’t want to do.”

You are just too dumb to keep talking to. I hope your children research things on their own and get the actual information.

Can you please correct where I’m wrong there? With evidence?

from the link YOU provided "Oral sex carries little to no risk for getting or transmitting HIV. Theoretically, transmission of HIV is possible if an HIV-positive man ejaculates in his partner’s mouth during oral sex. However, the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex. Factors that may increase the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex are oral ulcers, bleeding gums, genital sores, and the presence of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), which may or may not be visible."

But the risk of transmitting an STI through oral sex unprotected is greater if the male is uncircumcised; this is important information she needs to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

I’m a woman. Oral sex is generally less risky than penetration on many levels. People do it because it feels good not because they think it’s less risky (generally). OP didn’t go over any of that accurately.

Saying something over and over again won't make it any less untrue.

what exactly is untrue? that women like oral sex? that oral sex has no pregancy or HIV risk?

It's not less risky other than not causing pregnancy. Stop repeating that nonsense. The conversation on how much women enjoy oral sex is not appropriate for 11 year olds. OP presented the facts in a neutral way which is all that is needed at 11.

It's equally appropriate as talking about the risks of oral sex with a child that has never heard of it or expressed any interest in it. How about you just stop talking about oral sex with children for no reason?

Are you arguing the graphic novel Gender Queer (which depicts oral sex) should be removed from middle school libraries here in FCPS ?

I am not familiar with the book, but oral sex and similar should be talked about when the child is ready, not when the parent is.

So never?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don’t think I scared my child and this is not a “one and done” conversation.

I think the full conversation was basically;

Me: “I’m curious. Did you learn about something called oral sex in your puberty education class?”

Her: “no, what’s that?”

Me: “some people have a type of sex where they use their mouths on their partner’s genitals”

Her: “why?”

Me: “well, I think some people think it is a way to be intimate with each other without risks, since you can’t get pregnant, but it’s important to know that you shouldn’t be pressured to ever do it and that you can still catch diseases from your partner so if you ever choose to do that.”

Her: “no way! I’m never doing that! Did you ever do that? Wait! Don’t answer that!”

Me: something along the lines of “I don’t plan to share any specifics with you about what I have or haven’t done but I can answer questions. More generally, if two adults…. (made comment about consenting adults / cows)

Good job mom. You are raising your daughter right.

Look, I’m not going to bash OP because I think overall openness is a net positive. But this discussion of oral sex basically completely misses the mark - people do it because it feels really good, especially women. And the risks are there, but much less than PIV sex. So at the end of the day, I’m truly not clear what OP hoped to gain from bringing it up (not in response to a question) other than to make it seem vaguely scary.

I know. Because you're a creep and a man. Women get it. See your way out.

ummm no. I am very much a woman. so what exactly is inherently creepy? the fact thay women enjoy oral sex? I agree that would be a weird & inappropriate discussion to have with an 11 year old, which is why I’m on the fence about talking about specific sex acts. Because they are too young to understand. so I think leaving them with the message “there’s this thing called oral sex, it’s bad, don’t let boys force you to do it!” is just kind of counterproductive. Why even go there?

Why do you keep stating your misinterpreted view of what OP said? Nowhere did she say oral sex is good or bad. She just told her daughter that it exists and it carries similar risks to actual sex. It's important in the context of sex education. Your tweens and teens are more likely to engage in oral sex than intercourse so it's even more important to discuss it with your kids (especially your daughter).

And you are very much a man and have a weird fixation on how much your girls should enjoy oral sex. That's why you're a creep.

Oral sex IS "actual sex." The fact that you used the word "actual" means you should be disqualified from talking to children, really anyone, about this.

If you wish to differentiate from sexual intercourse, that's one thing. But suggesting oral sex is anything other than "actual sex" is disinformation.

Please tell me where in the essence of what I said, I didn't state the same as you are stating. You are pissing in the wind arguing semantics.

It ISN'T "semantics." This is core stuff, dude.

Differentiating it by saying it's not "actual" sex fuels a lot of incorrect attitudes and understanding about sex. Or suggests that intercourse is somehow more significant or consequential than oral. It's not.

Oral sex is "actual" sex. It's not "sexual intercourse" but it's absolutely "actual sex."

And that's NOT a semantics issue.

Again. Please tell me where you comprehended anything other than that is my many posts. I’ve been saying that for many pages. But you chose one instance of me using the wrong term to get all huffy about it. Perhaps lecture the dude who things he can’t get HIV from oral. Time much better spent. I promise you.

Again. You don't actually have any credibility because of your use of that phrase. I, and others, have dismissed you out-of-hand for it and your general obstinance. Be gone with you. There's nothing to "comprehend" because you lack standing to express your opinion.