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Gender dysphoria; what age?
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Anonymous
According to you. According to them, they have. Who should we believe? |
Anonymous
How is top surgery not a mastectomy? |
Anonymous
Who should define the criteria for that person? |
Anonymous
You are spokesperson for every single person who has or may detransition? |
Anonymous
How many letters do teens need for breast reduction surgery? |
Anonymous
No, they are their own spokespersons. If you listen to them you will understand. I have been listening. You should try it. |
Anonymous
when the person is a child, then the medical (and legal) profession decide whether the child can consent to such risks. I believe those risks were covered up and are now becoming better understood; and the relative lack of benefits as well. Imagine someone deciding for you at 9 or 10 that you would never be able to have sex or children!!! |
Anonymous
those are two totally different things, as you know. you just sound like a dishonest person when you try to claim a nose job is the same as top surgery. |
Anonymous
By about 18 months, I could have told you that my child, who was AFAB, gravitated towards things that are stereotypically associated with boys. They wanted balls, and trucks, and dinosaurs, and to be moving every second of the day. There a marked difference between what he chose compared and what his close in age sister chose, and even a difference between what he chose and what his close in age male friends and cousins chose, because his male cousins were more likely to push the baby doll stroller, or pretend to cook than he was. By two this preference he was also expressing strong preferences in terms of wanting his hair short, and wanting to wear clothing from the boy's section. But at that age, there was dysphoria, because while he knew that he liked some things more than other things, or that he liked different things from his sister, he didn't have any sense that he wasn't supposed to like those things, or that those things were associated with being a boy or a girl. When he started preschool at three that began to change. I regret not choosing his preschool more carefully, because he was definitely in an environment where he got the message that some things were more for boys or more for girls, and that's when we started to see more unhappiness. At school, he consistently chose things like the block corner, or the vehicles, over things like housekeeping. He consistently chose male playmates too. But sometimes little boys told him he couldn't play because they didn't want to play with girls, and that hurt. Or if a parent would have a party that was all boys, he would feel so excluded. Conversely by 4, if he was invited to a party he'd ask "Is Jack going?" as a way to make sure it wasn't all girls. If it was all girls, he'd insist that he didn't want to go. He also was very insistent on boys clothing, rejecting even gender neutral things. But, he still clearly identified as a girl, although by 5 or so he would say "I'm a girl who likes boy things." or "I'm a girl but I don't like girl things." and "I wish I was a boy so I could go to that party" or "I wish I was a boy so that Henry would let me play." I would say his dysphoria from 3 - 5 wasn't constant. He'd get very upset any time he felt like people were putting him a "girl" box. But when that wasn't happening, he would seem to forget about it. In late elementary, he switched from saying "I'm a girl who likes boy things" and "I wish I was a boy so I could . . . " to "I wish I was a boy!" and "it's not fair that I'm not a boy". There was a lot of anger at not being a boy, and at knowing that his male friends were going to change in different ways than he would. But that didn't switch to "I think I am a boy" or "I want you to call me he/him" until 11. When he asked we immediately allowed him to start changing social markers, so he got a haircut that reads 100% boy. We changed his name, and his bathing suit, and what he wore for fancy occasions, from slacks and a gender neutral shirt/blouse to a suit. We also changed his school so he could be with people who had not known him as a girl. I would say that from 9 - 11 his dysphoria was constant, and now it's back to being intermittent, coming up when there is a situation that is challenging. He is definitely a happier kid at 13 than he was at 10, but 10 - 11 can be really rough for kids with female hormones. He's also in a better school for him now, and getting therapy. So, who knows the cause. So far, we have not allowed puberty blockers. I would also say that I agree with a lot of the Cass report. I think that it's really easy to see gender diverse kids solely through the lens of gender, and to lose sight of their development as a whole, and that kids need comprehensive care that looks at all aspects of their development together. I think that can be an issue in the states, although it sounds like it was a bigger issue in England because of how NHS structured care. I also think that the problem of lack of evidence is a big one, although I know from another kid with a severe medical issue that people give medical treatments to children that haven't been studied through adulthood all the time. Because any new treatment given to children is going to be without evidence on adult outcomes, until the first kids receiving it grow up! So, to me the issue isn't so much that the evidence doesn't exist, it's been that there's been a hesitance to look for evidence, or develop research protocols because it's become such a political issue. I also think it's important to note that there's not a lot of evidence to support either early medical transition, or waiting for medical transition, so while people say "we shouldn't medically transition young kids due to lack of evidence", it's possible that in the end the evidence will show that we should transition them. I would also say that I agree with this key finding from the Cass report
But I'm not convinced my kid isn't one of those kids for whom a medical pathway might be clinically indicated. At this point, we have been diligent about looking for and addressing other developmental, mental health, and psychosocial challenges, but I am not sure if that's enough. So, our decision about puberty suppression may change in the future. |
Anonymous
Wut? Leave the science to the professionals. |
Anonymous
How are they different? Very telling how some people are “concerned” about certain teen surgeries but not others. |
Anonymous
How many 9-10 year olds are getting bottom surgery? 
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Anonymous
You have listened to every single one? And they all agree 100%? Impressive. You must have spent a lot of time down those rabbit holes on your “research”. |
Anonymous
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My FTM nephew has been saying he was a boy since around age 3 or 4.
When he was that young my BIL & SIL played along like "haha so cute, yes you're a 'boy!'" They really started taking things more seriously when he was maybe around age 6 or 7 and became more vocal about his preferences related to clothing, shoes, and hairstyles. He didn't want jeans and plain tees from the girl's section at Target, he wanted clothes from the little boy's section. Same with shoes. He didn't want neutral-looking shoes from the girl's section and instead wanted shoes from the boy's section. He never wore his long hair down and always pulled it back in a ponytail. After he cut it twice on his own, they finally took him to a barber to get a traditional boy's haircut that he wanted. They also took him to a therapist that specialized in dysmorphia in pre-adolescents. Then they went the route of hormone blockers and puberty blockers when appropriate. He's now 25 and lives his life as a male. He has a fiancee and they are planning a wedding for 2025. Those outside of our family or his close circle of friends do not know that he transitioned from female. |
Anonymous
| Does his fiancee know? |