Gender dysphoria; what age?

[Anonymous]

Curious to hear from parents or adults who have direct experience: is it possible for a kid to experience gender dysphoria as young as 3 years old?

I thought that kids don't typically even understand gender as a concept until slightly older than 3 (like around 5 or 6).

Not trying to stir debate. Just curious from those with direct experience.

[Anonymous]

My then 13 yo suffered gender dyphoria with no previous history. I researched and read everything I coukd find on the topic and concluded that being transgender is extremely rare and truly transgendered peopke show signs at a very young age (like 3). I had a gut feeling about my dc, that they were not transgender. I was correct. My child has ocd, which included identity and existential elements. With ERP and iCBT, my dc is doing great and the ocd is well managed. There is no gender dysphoria whatsoever. They are 17 now.

[Anonymous]

I read this book a few months after my first child was born because I am a few degrees separated from the author: https://www.amazon.com/What-We-Will-Become-Transformation/dp/0544965833. In the book she talks about her son's transition and discusses how her son was showing signs of being very distressed about his gender at 2. And it was subtle - around not wanting to wear gendered clothing and wanting to be a dog because he felt uncomfortable with his gender. He wasn't able to fully express himself or even probably on some level totally conceptualize what was distressing him but it was clear he was distressed.

[Anonymous]

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/what-we-will-become-mimi-lemay?variant=39935679234082

Linked above. I think the amazon link I posted was broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear from parents or adults who have direct experience: is it possible for a kid to experience gender dysphoria as young as 3 years old?

I thought that kids don't typically even understand gender as a concept until slightly older than 3 (like around 5 or 6).

Not trying to stir debate. Just curious from those with direct experience.

It depends on how rigid their environment enforces gender stereotypes. “You are a girl, only boys do that”. “ You are a boy, only girls do that.”

[Anonymous]

I know a teenager who was like this at 3. Started dressing as the opposite sex. Still likes to dress like the opposite sex. No clue who they want to be with relationship wise though.

[Anonymous]

Kids learn boy and girl things at a very early age. Definitely by 3. However they are also exploring and figuring themselves out so a lot of feelings and ideas aren't dysphoria and more related to their limited ability to see the big picture. I was desperate to be a boy when I was a child. I hated everything girly or girl stereotyped and loved everything that was more stereotypically boy or masculine.

I am now 50 and still a very masculine woman...but definitely a woman. It was more about acceptance of not fitting stereotypes and not fitting in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear from parents or adults who have direct experience: is it possible for a kid to experience gender dysphoria as young as 3 years old?

I thought that kids don't typically even understand gender as a concept until slightly older than 3 (like around 5 or 6).

Not trying to stir debate. Just curious from those with direct experience.

It depends on how rigid their environment enforces gender stereotypes. “You are a girl, only boys do that”. “ You are a boy, only girls do that.”

Can you elaborate on this? Do you mean to say that enforcing gender roles causes dysmorphia? That if parents allow behaviors not to be labeled as a gendered behavior, there wouldn't be a kid as emphatic about I'm a boy/I'm a girl talk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear from parents or adults who have direct experience: is it possible for a kid to experience gender dysphoria as young as 3 years old?

I thought that kids don't typically even understand gender as a concept until slightly older than 3 (like around 5 or 6).

Not trying to stir debate. Just curious from those with direct experience.

Yes, it’s possible. The language to describe it wasn’t really available until 5-6, but kid has described an experience of gender in which they don’t fit what they are assigned as on paper, and goes back to 3-4.

Interestingly, the focus of the description is not on the kid’s experience of their body but on their experience of being grouped with kids assigned the same way on paper at school.

[Anonymous]

Not real at any age. If you gently model and reinforce normative gender roles the problem will just evaporate.

[Anonymous]

Mine did- DC is now 13 and it continues. We just go with the flow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine did- DC is now 13 and it continues. We just go with the flow.

Sorry- started around 3.5/4 (knew they wanted a certain hair style, clothes style, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious to hear from parents or adults who have direct experience: is it possible for a kid to experience gender dysphoria as young as 3 years old?

I thought that kids don't typically even understand gender as a concept until slightly older than 3 (like around 5 or 6).

Not trying to stir debate. Just curious from those with direct experience.

It depends on how rigid their environment enforces gender stereotypes. “You are a girl, only boys do that”. “ You are a boy, only girls do that.”

100% agree with this.
( mom of a DD who wears clothes marketed to boys with short hair but who knows she’s a girl and is not trans) if you are open about letting your kids play with what they want and wear clothes/shoes/hairstyles without assigning gender to it they are less likely to have gender issues.

[Anonymous]

Mine did as early as the age of three. I had what I thought was a little girl and I dressed my child up as such as I really liked all the cute little girly outfits. At three years old, I was told my kid didn't want to wear a dress because "I am a boy" this is 25 years ago so I was not well first in transgender. So of course I responded. Oh no no, you are a little girl, etc. etc.. Long story short I eventually understood that my child really was a boy and I let him be who he wanted to be. By the age of 13 he had chosen a boy name. He is now a wonderful young man, and I couldn't be happier for him. He is not my only child. But he is my only child who is transgender.

[Anonymous]

In the 1990s and before, most children with significant dysphoria at a young age had it resolve at puberty, though mostly they turned out same-sex attracted.

Current model in the US is to affirm when young, and stop puberty from taking place. Most of Europe, where this was common, has reversed course and no longer prescribe puberty blockers.