ED violation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to mention this to the college counseling office. A few years back, a kid walked away from an Ivy ED (wealthy kid so not for financial reasons) at a DC private and the school was punished the next year with zero ED admits with over 20 kids applying that year. This is not a victimless crime when people unethically back out of a commitment.

I heard of this happening to a NYC school too.

[Anonymous]

even a 20k vacation is nothing like 320k for college...

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, it's not a violation. People are allowed to appeal for financial reasons, even if you don't agree with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore the MYOB jerks. They're probably cheating ED or considering it for their kid.

For those who keep making excuses about finances, most private ED schools use CSS to determine FA, and that would have been done Nov/Dec. So, this person is not likely waiting on FAFSA. Private schools w/ ED get numbers back asap via CSS.

So, say the person couldn't afford the FA at the ED school as some claim. Then they should have withdrawn from that agreement. The can't hold on to the ED acceptance and shop other offers per the agreement they signed. They should also have withdrawn all other apps once admitted if the costs were in line with expectations (NPC).

So, here's what you should do. Go to the resource teacher for counseling and/or the counselor for college admissions. Tell them in general terms you suspect a student is holding an ED while surfing other acceptances and that it is hurting other students at the school. Don't name names. Let the counselor look into it. Then move on.

It's frustrating, but not much more you can do unless you want to band a circle of angry parents together around the offending parent, call out "Who violated the ED agreement" and all chant "She did," pointing a la Handmaid's Tale. That could be cathartic.

OP said public flagship. Which ones use CSS?

UVA does. So does UNC, which is the school I immediately thought of when OP mentioned state flagship and low OOS admit rate.

OP says in first post kid in question got into a top private d school ED. Why are you discussing public universities?

Yes, I confused another post with OP as far as the last part of my statement. The first part was in response to state flagships using CSS. Irrelevant to OP, true, but someone asked.

[Anonymous]

ChatGPT response on should you complain about the other kid:

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It's understandable that you may feel frustrated or concerned about what you personally perceive as an unfair. However, dwelling on negative feelings and the desire to complain can be detrimental to your own well-being. Here are some suggestions to help you manage and overcome your obsession:

1. Reflect on your feelings:
Take some time to reflect on why you feel the need to complain. Consider whether your concerns are rooted in jealousy, frustration, or a genuine belief that there is an unfair advantage.

2. Focus on your own goals:
Redirect your energy towards your own academic and personal goals. Concentrate on improving your own skills, knowledge, and study habits rather than comparing yourself to others.

3. Seek support:
Talk to friends, family members, or a counselor about your feelings. They can provide a different perspective, offer support, and help you gain clarity on the situation.

4. Challenge negative thoughts:
Whenever negative thoughts about the situation arise, consciously challenge them. Ask yourself if there's evidence to support your assumptions or if you might be interpreting the situation in a way that's not entirely accurate.

If your obsession persists and negatively impacts your mental health, it might be beneficial to seek the guidance of a mental health professional who can provide personalized support and coping strategies. Remember, focusing on your own growth and well-being is ultimately more rewarding than dwelling on perceived injustices.

=====================================

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m wondering if any action can be taken in this situation. My child is a senior at a MCPS school. Another kid applied and was accepted ED to a top private university. The kid and their parents are refusing to commit to the school and refuse to withdraw other applications.

This week the kid got into an EA school when others didn’t. Do universities share their ED lists? It wasn’t my kid this week, but could easily be later in the cycle.

Family says that it’s for financial reasons but went on an expensive vacation last week.

Another Chat GPT response:

Your feelings about this situation are completely valid. The process surrounding Early Decision (ED) applications is built on trust and the understanding that it's a binding agreement, contingent on financial feasibility. If a family is not honoring this commitment without genuine financial constraints, it could potentially disadvantage other students and undermine the integrity of the application process.

It's understandable that the situation raises concerns not just for your child, but for the fairness and integrity of college admissions as a whole. Universities generally expect students to withdraw other applications once they've been accepted ED, assuming the financial aid package is adequate. While it's true that colleges and universities have different policies regarding the sharing of ED lists, the principle of the ED agreement is meant to be honored by all parties involved.

Given the potential implications for other students, it might be worth bringing this issue to the attention of the school's guidance counselor or administration. They can provide the best advice on how to proceed and may take steps to ensure that all students understand and adhere to the rules of the college application process. This could help protect the integrity of the process and ensure that all students are competing on a fair playing field.

Remember, your concern shows your commitment to fairness and transparency in the college application process, values that are crucial for ensuring that all students have equal opportunities.

[Anonymous]

Of course OP should say something. I don’t see why she wouldn’t send an anonymous email. If the child is not violating the ED agreement, no harm no foul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m wondering if any action can be taken in this situation. My child is a senior at a MCPS school. Another kid applied and was accepted ED to a top private university. The kid and their parents are refusing to commit to the school and refuse to withdraw other applications.

This week the kid got into an EA school when others didn’t. Do universities share their ED lists? It wasn’t my kid this week, but could easily be later in the cycle.

Family says that it’s for financial reasons but went on an expensive vacation last week.

Another Chat GPT response:

Your feelings about this situation are completely valid. The process surrounding Early Decision (ED) applications is built on trust and the understanding that it's a binding agreement, contingent on financial feasibility. If a family is not honoring this commitment without genuine financial constraints, it could potentially disadvantage other students and undermine the integrity of the application process.

It's understandable that the situation raises concerns not just for your child, but for the fairness and integrity of college admissions as a whole. Universities generally expect students to withdraw other applications once they've been accepted ED, assuming the financial aid package is adequate. While it's true that colleges and universities have different policies regarding the sharing of ED lists, the principle of the ED agreement is meant to be honored by all parties involved.

Given the potential implications for other students, it might be worth bringing this issue to the attention of the school's guidance counselor or administration. They can provide the best advice on how to proceed and may take steps to ensure that all students understand and adhere to the rules of the college application process. This could help protect the integrity of the process and ensure that all students are competing on a fair playing field.

Remember, your concern shows your commitment to fairness and transparency in the college application process, values that are crucial for ensuring that all students have equal opportunities.

Does anyone else think this is sad that parents are taking the time to put in Chat GPT? Can anyone just care about their own child and not compete against everyone elses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course OP should say something. I don’t see why she wouldn’t send an anonymous email. If the child is not violating the ED agreement, no harm no foul.

Sidwell had to send out a letter on parents reporting students ie knock it off. Understand OP someone’s financial situation is zero of your business.

[Anonymous]

Maybe they booked this vacation a year ago? A lot of trips are non-refundable. You don't know -and a trip to the Caribbean is a fraction of the cost of college multiplied by four years. Also, a family's financial situation can change. Let it rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they booked this vacation a year ago? A lot of trips are non-refundable. You don't know -and a trip to the Caribbean is a fraction of the cost of college multiplied by four years. Also, a family's financial situation can change. Let it rest.

get real .The ED contract is signed by the parents and the student in front of the high school college counselor whose job it is to make SURE the parents know that ED is BINDING. The colleges don't like it when students violate the contract. The high school doesn't like it. The college counselor doesn't like it and may refuse to help the student with future applications (sending LOC and transcripts) and yes you are hurting the chances of your kids' fellow classmates. To violate the contract does impact upon the school's reputation and may impact - as noted above - on chances for students to get into the university the next year. See mailing that Sidwell had to send around above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they booked this vacation a year ago? A lot of trips are non-refundable. You don't know -and a trip to the Caribbean is a fraction of the cost of college multiplied by four years. Also, a family's financial situation can change. Let it rest.

get real .The ED contract is signed by the parents and the student in front of the high school college counselor whose job it is to make SURE the parents know that ED is BINDING. The colleges don't like it when students violate the contract. The high school doesn't like it. The college counselor doesn't like it and may refuse to help the student with future applications (sending LOC and transcripts) and yes you are hurting the chances of your kids' fellow classmates. To violate the contract does impact upon the school's reputation and may impact - as noted above - on chances for students to get into the university the next year. See mailing that Sidwell had to send around above.

Even so, stay in your own lane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they booked this vacation a year ago? A lot of trips are non-refundable. You don't know -and a trip to the Caribbean is a fraction of the cost of college multiplied by four years. Also, a family's financial situation can change. Let it rest.

get real .The ED contract is signed by the parents and the student in front of the high school college counselor whose job it is to make SURE the parents know that ED is BINDING. The colleges don't like it when students violate the contract. The high school doesn't like it. The college counselor doesn't like it and may refuse to help the student with future applications (sending LOC and transcripts) and yes you are hurting the chances of your kids' fellow classmates. To violate the contract does impact upon the school's reputation and may impact - as noted above - on chances for students to get into the university the next year. See mailing that Sidwell had to send around above.

Even so, stay in your own lane.

I'm in my own lane. I am not OP. I am responding to the idiot talking about booking a vacation and how that somehow excuses the ED contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, it's not a violation. People are allowed to appeal for financial reasons, even if you don't agree with them.

DP. It is a violation. Any appeal should have been done and resolved by now. If still not affordable, the person should have withdrawn from ED. If resolved, they are required to withdraw the other apps. Doesn't seem that any of this happened. They've sat on all the apps, accruing acceptances. They are treating it the same as an EA, which is a violation of ED contract.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is playing by the rules, reporting the situation to the proper offices (admissions and college counseling) will have no impact. If she’s not, the schools will be better informed. No harm, no foul.

I think this is true for the latter (hs counseling), but any word to the college AO could cast doubt. I would not do that. Report what you suspect to school counselor and let them decide best course.