Divorced dad looking for a wealthy woman

[Anonymous]

I also think this is a troll post but the responses got me thinking. I’m a middle aged woman, two kids, $10 M net worth and can’t think of a reason to ever remarry. I’ve had the kids, love my life, and can put myself first, plus have all the exciting sex I want. Why buy the cow with all this milk on hand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child-free friend that makes $250k as a pilot. Her DH is also a pilot but makes less. She also received a substantial inheritance from her family. Yet he feels she should do more around the house like his mother and MIL do. She loves him but if something happens to him, he has no intention of remarrying. She has no desire to be some new guy's nurse or purse, particularly one with kids.

A lot of identifying info here.

Haha! She wouldn't be caught dead on here.

Ma’am that’s not the point. Anybody who knows 2 pilots will think this is her situation

You obviously don’t know many pilots.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also think this is a troll post but the responses got me thinking. I’m a middle aged woman, two kids, $10 M net worth and can’t think of a reason to ever remarry. I’ve had the kids, love my life, and can put myself first, plus have all the exciting sex I want. Why buy the cow with all this milk on hand?

And this is what I Don't understand about men as a man myself. A man in your situation would still want to be remarried. Why are men so willing to potentially jeopardize significant wealth by remarrying but women will not do so. Is it that women can live without men and men can't live without women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think this is a troll post but the responses got me thinking. I’m a middle aged woman, two kids, $10 M net worth and can’t think of a reason to ever remarry. I’ve had the kids, love my life, and can put myself first, plus have all the exciting sex I want. Why buy the cow with all this milk on hand?

And this is what I Don't understand about men as a man myself. A man in your situation would still want to be remarried. Why are men so willing to potentially jeopardize significant wealth by remarrying but women will not do so. Is it that women can live without men and men can't live without women?

The answer is simple: men cannot organize themselves to get direction in life (even the most successful ones), and they are testosterone dependent.

[Anonymous]

I think an earlier pp nailed it when they mentioned emotional support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think this is a troll post but the responses got me thinking. I’m a middle aged woman, two kids, $10 M net worth and can’t think of a reason to ever remarry. I’ve had the kids, love my life, and can put myself first, plus have all the exciting sex I want. Why buy the cow with all this milk on hand?

And this is what I Don't understand about men as a man myself. A man in your situation would still want to be remarried. Why are men so willing to potentially jeopardize significant wealth by remarrying but women will not do so. Is it that women can live without men and men can't live without women?

Generally speaking, if you take money out of the equation, men take more than they give in relationships. So, yes - women who dont need financial partnership or support have less to gain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So how do I go about finding one of those wealthy woman? I am divorced 44 2 kids good looking in great shape and work as an Economist. Which App is best for meeting a single lady that earn significantly more than I do ( I make 120k).

Society thinks it’s totally Okay for women to seek wealthy men. Well I am seeking a similarly wealthy single woman.

If you can carry yourself like this museum curator, you might have a chance ---

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2022/06/24/washington-dc-matchmaking-00041387

[Anonymous]

At first I was combative when DW asked for a divorce. But upon reflecting on my marriage I realized she just got exhausted for the same reasons you listed. I am 43 and I am sure many men my generation are going though the same thing.

Men “of your generation” were born in 1980, ffs. I’m sorry you’re getting divorced and not trying to pile on, but if you couldn’t figure this stuff out when the stakes meant losing your marriage, I don’t know what to tell you. Sharing responsibilities in the home, including noticing and taking charge of said tasks, ain’t rocket science. Partners of any gender who claim not to see it, value it, or just won’t do it aren’t good partners period. That’s not a generational thing. That’s a you thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

At first I was combative when DW asked for a divorce. But upon reflecting on my marriage I realized she just got exhausted for the same reasons you listed. I am 43 and I am sure many men my generation are going though the same thing.

Men “of your generation” were born in 1980, ffs. I’m sorry you’re getting divorced and not trying to pile on, but if you couldn’t figure this stuff out when the stakes meant losing your marriage, I don’t know what to tell you. Sharing responsibilities in the home, including noticing and taking charge of said tasks, ain’t rocket science. Partners of any gender who claim not to see it, value it, or just won’t do it aren’t good partners period. That’s not a generational thing. That’s a you thing.

DP. It is a generational thing. I know men born in 1988 who behave the same as my ex husband born in 1972. They expect women to do 2 jobs. Work and do everything at home. A woman who works gets exhausted and has the means to divorce. I know many people in this situation. It did not stop with people being born in 1980.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

At first I was combative when DW asked for a divorce. But upon reflecting on my marriage I realized she just got exhausted for the same reasons you listed. I am 43 and I am sure many men my generation are going though the same thing.

Men “of your generation” were born in 1980, ffs. I’m sorry you’re getting divorced and not trying to pile on, but if you couldn’t figure this stuff out when the stakes meant losing your marriage, I don’t know what to tell you. Sharing responsibilities in the home, including noticing and taking charge of said tasks, ain’t rocket science. Partners of any gender who claim not to see it, value it, or just won’t do it aren’t good partners period. That’s not a generational thing. That’s a you thing.

DP. It is a generational thing. I know men born in 1988 who behave the same as my ex husband born in 1972. They expect women to do 2 jobs. Work and do everything at home. A woman who works gets exhausted and has the means to divorce. I know many people in this situation. It did not stop with people being born in 1980.

Oh I believe you. Men have every reason to perpetuate this believe as they benefit immensely. My point is that today, there is now enough cultural awareness of these issues that hiding behind an "oopsy I didn't know it's just my generation" defense as a man in 2023 is as wink/wink/nod intentional as walking by the overflowing trash and claiming not to see it. If you don't want to take out said trash, yes, it's to your benefit not to look. But unless you're visually impaired, it's visible to you. TLdr, blaming "your generation" as a reason to not do chores as a 43 yo man is like me as a 41 yo woman wondering aloud if I could get a job and make money. Both genders have more choices, and thus more responsibility to each other, as partners. Claiming not to is, well, a pretty good way to ignore the overflowing garbage in marriage #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also think this is a troll post but the responses got me thinking. I’m a middle aged woman, two kids, $10 M net worth and can’t think of a reason to ever remarry. I’ve had the kids, love my life, and can put myself first, plus have all the exciting sex I want. Why buy the cow with all this milk on hand?

And this is what I Don't understand about men as a man myself. A man in your situation would still want to be remarried. Why are men so willing to potentially jeopardize significant wealth by remarrying but women will not do so. Is it that women can live without men and men can't live without women?

The answer is simple: men cannot organize themselves to get direction in life (even the most successful ones), and they are testosterone dependent.

This. Men want someone to do all the invisible free labor their wives and previously mothers did to enrich their lives. Even if there are housecleaners and cooks, someone has to organize that, plan trips, make sure the house is cozy etc. women can just do all that themselves or pay for it and manage it and not manage an extra persons mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH you sound fine but are probably not going to be able to attract such a woman….if you don’t make a lot of $ they are going to want someone with some level of prestige or influence (local celebrity type, probably). Most will not want to deal with your kids either- whether they have their own or not.

This. An attractive, wealthy woman is not going to settle for a man who makes $120k AND has kids. You're time and attention is divided and you can't carry your own weight. That's just a nonstarter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to hear women’s opinion regarding the point I am making below.

If out of every 100 Bachelor degrees 74 are awarded to women and since college degree earners earn more than non college degree earners then how are those men with only a high school education supposed to climb the ladder. Soon women will make more than men and if we go by the attitude of the women on here regarding men who earn less than women then our society is in trouble. Some of the assumptions that these men will offer *nothing* yet expect the higher earning women to still cook, clean, shop, plan etc is not necessarily accurate. Men today know that women expect them to take on an increasing share of household responsibilities and most are doing so but somehow it is dismissed. The patriarchy does not benefit all men. It benefits a few men who are at the top of the economic ladder. So I think higher earning women should be more open minded about dating men who earn less.

Men are still overrepresented in higher level positions and many make more money than women at their level. Even if women were to achieve parity in earnings they would still be expected to shoulder the burden of household chores. If this is rectified and we actually have equality, how does this mean that society is in "trouble"? Because women will have equal power and authority in their homes and leverage to leave a bad situation??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TBH you sound fine but are probably not going to be able to attract such a woman….if you don’t make a lot of $ they are going to want someone with some level of prestige or influence (local celebrity type, probably). Most will not want to deal with your kids either- whether they have their own or not.

This. An attractive, wealthy woman is not going to settle for a man who makes $120k AND has kids. You're time and attention is divided and you can't carry your own weight. That's just a nonstarter.

Yeah, you might actually need to bring something else to the table, like a personality.

[Anonymous]

So I think higher earning women should be more open minded about dating men who earn less.

Sure. As soon as those lower-earning men are willing to do more at home.

Sounds like a stalemate, huh?