Bill Splitting Etiquette (Happy Hour)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Hold on....
I hear it!
Do you hear it?......
(Cheap...Cheap...Cheap...Cheap).
The little birdies all are calling out your names! 😂

Oh here's the DB who orders a ton of drinks and doesn't want to pay their own bill. Who's the cheap one? It's you. Pay for your own food and drink, why is it cheap of that other person to not want to fund your addiction?

Meh, NP and I tend to agree (and I’m not cheap! I’m the one who usually just picks up the check to avoid discomfort for the party and trouble for the server when I sense this kind of situation is brewing, and I like treating my friends when I can)

Like, I get that OP and everyone is well within their right to order a Diet Coke and a salad and pay only for that. I’m not going to talk crap or anything or insist you cough up more money. But causing complications at the end of the evening is a buzzkill and makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s gauche to me. Maybe it’s just that I come from a family/culture where it’s not polite to talk about money like this and people perform ridiculous stunts fighting to pick up the check. It’s also strange and frankly somewhat rude to sip water or a soda when everyone else came to have drinks and apps. If I wasn’t going to partake in a social event involving food and drinks like happy hour or couldn’t afford it I would decline the invitation, and if for some reason I ended up not eating or drinking much like OP I wouldn’t balk at paying more than my share. It’s just part of being out with friends. This seems to be a very unpopular opinion though.

In any case, the best way to handle this is ahead of time; either let the server know you’ll be on a separate check or pay for your drinks at the bar. Or stop caring what people think of you and decline the venmo request and send only what you owe. Throwing down just enough cash or venmoing the host doesn’t work if everyone else decided to split it, and then everyone will be annoyed at you for causing a headache.

I agree with this. If you were only planning to sip water why did you agree to come to a happy hour / drink situation? Did you think you were there to workout?

Because she wanted to see her friends?

They don’t sound like friends.

Actually they are a great group of friends, but I can understand you questioning this based on what I wrote - or really what I didn't write. I didn't provide a great deal of background or context re the dynamics of the group or how long we've been a "friend group".

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:DCUM unanimous! hardly ever happens!

Just pay get your own tab and pay for yours before you leave. If anybody has a problem with this, I wouldn't care.

I also wouldn't have paid the original $40 request. I would say I had one drink, here's my $15.

+1

Here is your dissenting voice. I don't hang out with people like you. I am grown and so are my friends. If you are still crying over a $15 drink and not paying for others, I have no time for you. That's ridiculous. I pick up the tab all the time. I don't care. It's not that big of a deal. If I can only afford to buy my drink, I don't go out.

I'm surprised that people still invite you.

I was wondering when the moocher would show up.

I am the moocher. I am a grown a$$ woman. This is not an issue in my friend set.

Well, that we do agree on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's only the drunks who want free booze that are having a problem saying it's cheap. No one should have to pay for anyone else's liver poison.

This!!!! It's the full on alcoholics that are the cheap ones!

[Anonymous]

My friends always split the check, if you are in a split the check group and do not plan to drink more order more food and enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hold on....
I hear it!
Do you hear it?......
(Cheap...Cheap...Cheap...Cheap).
The little birdies all are calling out your names! 😂

FOUND THE DRUNK!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's only the drunks who want free booze that are having a problem saying it's cheap. No one should have to pay for anyone else's liver poison.

This!!!! It's the full on alcoholics that are the cheap ones!

Ugh this is such an annoying issue. I’m not a huge drinker. I will go out sometimes with friends who are ordering drinks #2 and 3 while I’m still on my first one. I’m a light weight and don’t drink that often. When these cocktails start approaching $15-20 a pop it really adds up.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I hate the whole "split it equally concept.

I don't drink anything harder than Diet Coke and due to severe food allergies, I rarely eat anything more than a salad when I go out to eat. One of my groups of colleagues drinks multiple drinks and eat multi-course meals when we go out. They always want to split the bill equally, which can easily be $75+/person. Usually, my portion is more like $10-$15, so even with a tip, I cost no more than $20. I resent paying an extra $50+ to subsidize them.

I get that it's annoying to pay for someone's lobster if you're ordering an appetizer, but if an adult makes bill time complicated by stating they should pay less, that person won't be invited out much longer. It reads as cheap and overly complicated. You might not want to go out with groups for dinner if you're just going to order salad and be all annoyed about it?

They are colleagues who want to have a working dinner. How do I avoid that?

It's one thing to pay an extra $10 or so. It's another thing to pay an extra $50.

The "cheap" ones are the ones who are perfectly content to allow someone else to subsidize them. When you order $100 worth of drinks and food and only have to pay $60-$70, who is the cheap one?

Someone expenses it. That one is easy.

Not everyone has expense accounts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate the whole "split it equally concept.

I don't drink anything harder than Diet Coke and due to severe food allergies, I rarely eat anything more than a salad when I go out to eat. One of my groups of colleagues drinks multiple drinks and eat multi-course meals when we go out. They always want to split the bill equally, which can easily be $75+/person. Usually, my portion is more like $10-$15, so even with a tip, I cost no more than $20. I resent paying an extra $50+ to subsidize them.

I get that it's annoying to pay for someone's lobster if you're ordering an appetizer, but if an adult makes bill time complicated by stating they should pay less, that person won't be invited out much longer. It reads as cheap and overly complicated. You might not want to go out with groups for dinner if you're just going to order salad and be all annoyed about it?

They are colleagues who want to have a working dinner. How do I avoid that?

It's one thing to pay an extra $10 or so. It's another thing to pay an extra $50.

The "cheap" ones are the ones who are perfectly content to allow someone else to subsidize them. When you order $100 worth of drinks and food and only have to pay $60-$70, who is the cheap one?

Someone expenses it. That one is easy.

Not everyone has expense accounts.

How exactly would any company agree to pay for this? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay your portion before you leave. Why is this a question?

Leave cash with organizer.
Or get your drink separately at the bar and pay, tip, out.

Your friends did you wrong. No wonder the organizer did not want your $15 on the way out. They count on someone being the lightweight and funding their boozy night.

Back in the day, pre zelle etc., whoever was there last got stuck with a whopping bill, and a few $10s or $20s from people who had been there hours. Friends of friends of friends, post college out for an afternoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do your own tan and pay it and close it before you leave. Better yet, order your drink and whatever you else’s and then pay for it on the spot. Meaning don’t leave a tab ipen, just ask for the bill. Say, “I’d like X on a separate tab and if you could bring me the bill for that as well that would be great.”

Thanks this makes sense to just ask for the bill as soon as I order, so basically close out my bill immediately as I know I won't be having more than one drink.

YES. Or go to the bar directly, order, pay, tip. Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

The whole thing seems weird to me. If a friend got one $15 drink and offered to Venmo me for it, I would say "don't worry about it," and cover it for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate those people who expect others to pay for their excess. Throw down a $20 and skedaddle. $40 is ridiculous.

This. 100%

[Anonymous]

If you can't afford or do not want to subsidize people when you go out in large groups, don't go. Seriously. Everybody will be much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. When I arrived, 4 of the 7 were already there and had just gotten their initial drinks at the the bar before being seated - so I greeted everyone and headed to the bar to do the same. Shortly thereafter more drinks were ordered at the table, followed by a 3 bottles of wine. I was actually hungry so ordered an $18 salad, asked the server to give me a seperate check. Thankfully three of the other women who were also "one and done drinkers" did the exact same thing so I didn't feel out of place. Thanks again for the suggestions - it worked out perfectly!

Great news and thanks for the update.

You dodged [others'] big bill that night!!!

[Anonymous]

It’s fine to pay for only what you ordered/consumed, just don’t be that guy who orders an $18 entree and throws in a $20 without regard for tax, tip, or partaking in the apps somebody ordered for the table.