Bill Splitting Etiquette (Happy Hour)
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Anonymous
| “I had a separate bill. I paid at the bar.” Come on, folks. It’s not hard. |
Anonymous
I was wondering when the moocher would show up. |
Anonymous
Wow. Are you 12? And actually, the “cheap” people here are the ones trying to get OP to subsidize what THEY chose to eat and drink. |
Anonymous
| It's only the drunks who want free booze that are having a problem saying it's cheap. No one should have to pay for anyone else's liver poison. |
Anonymous
I can't read your post cause it's just too long. I have been burned by someone wanting to split the check before. I start before we order by asking the wait staff for separate checks. There is no logical reason why checks can't be split, even if there are 25 of us. If not, I want no parts of it. Think what you want. Anything other than this stresses me out. |
Anonymous
Meh, NP and I tend to agree (and I’m not cheap! I’m the one who usually just picks up the check to avoid discomfort for the party and trouble for the server when I sense this kind of situation is brewing, and I like treating my friends when I can) Like, I get that OP and everyone is well within their right to order a Diet Coke and a salad and pay only for that. I’m not going to talk crap or anything or insist you cough up more money. But causing complications at the end of the evening is a buzzkill and makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s gauche to me. Maybe it’s just that I come from a family/culture where it’s not polite to talk about money like this and people perform ridiculous stunts fighting to pick up the check. It’s also strange and frankly somewhat rude to sip water or a soda when everyone else came to have drinks and apps. If I wasn’t going to partake in a social event involving food and drinks like happy hour or couldn’t afford it I would decline the invitation, and if for some reason I ended up not eating or drinking much like OP I wouldn’t balk at paying more than my share. It’s just part of being out with friends. This seems to be a very unpopular opinion though. In any case, the best way to handle this is ahead of time; either let the server know you’ll be on a separate check or pay for your drinks at the bar. Or stop caring what people think of you and decline the venmo request and send only what you owe. Throwing down just enough cash or venmoing the host doesn’t work if everyone else decided to split it, and then everyone will be annoyed at you for causing a headache. |
Anonymous
Tell me you’ve never waited tables without telling me you’ve never waited tables….the logical reason is that this is a horrible thing to do to your poor server. |
Anonymous
Agreed. This just isn’t an issue in my circles. |
Anonymous
"If you can't afford more than one drink, you should sit home and hide your head in shame." "this just isn't an issue in my [wealthy] circles." |
Anonymous
The danger with this is that Little Miss Olivia Organizer knew full well that you offered to pay $15 as you were leaving last time, but still invoiced you later for $40. How do you know that she won’t still include you in a split invoice later??? |
Anonymous
So what if she does? OP can say she had a separate tab and paid it before she left. Organizer can send invoices to whoever she wants, but OP is under no obligation to pay anything if she paid for all her own food and drink already. |
Anonymous
Yep—there’s always one! But to be fair, I can understand this viewpoint if everyone had drinks and dinner—but OP wanted to pay separately bc she opted for the cheaper chicken Caesar salad and a glass of wine while her friend had Chilean sea bass and a cosmopolitan. Or refusing to chip in for the appetizer crab dip that was ordered “for the table” because you didn’t really feel like having any. That’s kind of nickel and diming the situation. When everyone is having dinner and drinks, you just divide the bill by the number of guests and everyone ante’s up! (That is—assuming you’re over the age of like 25!) Sometimes this means paying $10-12 more than if the bill had been separate. But in OP’s scenario, she’s not even really part of the outing. This is what I call a “drive-by drink” with the group. She just stopped in for a glass and then leaves. It wouldn’t bother me if OP just paid for her own drink in this scenario because she wasn’t even there for the rest! But I don’t think I’d keep inviting her if she did the drive by twice in a row. Because she is signaling she doesn’t really want to be there. |
Anonymous
? Mostly fed attorneys, non-profit types, and admin staff. Not wealthy but some disposable income. We don’t go to places where the lowest paid among us can’t afford to partake equally with us. That would be incredibly rude and poor friendship. |
Anonymous
Also, I’m in one group where it evens out over time, as we generally spend about the same. We just split. In another, I try to be more aware. There’s a vegetarian and another person who doesn’t drink. If we just split all the time, the same two people would always get screwed. That’s not fair and whether I can afford it or not, I wouldn’t want to take advantage of my friends like that. |
Anonymous
Wow. Are you easily triggered? 
Don't go out with them if you can't afford it. |