Bill Splitting Etiquette (Happy Hour)

[Anonymous]

OP here with an update. When I arrived, 4 of the 7 were already there and had just gotten their initial drinks at the the bar before being seated - so I greeted everyone and headed to the bar to do the same. Shortly thereafter more drinks were ordered at the table, followed by a 3 bottles of wine. I was actually hungry so ordered an $18 salad, asked the server to give me a seperate check. Thankfully three of the other women who were also "one and done drinkers" did the exact same thing so I didn't feel out of place. Thanks again for the suggestions - it worked out perfectly!

[Anonymous]

If you know you're only staying for one drink just bring a $20 and plop it down on the table when you leave - "this should be plenty to cover my drink and tip - see ya!"

Then if the organizer forgets or "forgets" that you paid for yourself and sends a venmo for $40 you can remind her you paid at the table or just ignore it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. When I arrived, 4 of the 7 were already there and had just gotten their initial drinks at the the bar before being seated - so I greeted everyone and headed to the bar to do the same. Shortly thereafter more drinks were ordered at the table, followed by a 3 bottles of wine. I was actually hungry so ordered an $18 salad, asked the server to give me a seperate check. Thankfully three of the other women who were also "one and done drinkers" did the exact same thing so I didn't feel out of place. Thanks again for the suggestions - it worked out perfectly!

replied before seeing your update - glad it worked out. It usually takes one person to "break the seal" by asking for their own check, and then others feel comfortable to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you know you're only staying for one drink just bring a $20 and plop it down on the table when you leave - "this should be plenty to cover my drink and tip - see ya!"

Then if the organizer forgets or "forgets" that you paid for yourself and sends a venmo for $40 you can remind her you paid at the table or just ignore it.

Just curious, would $20 cover one drink where you are? I am in NYC, and a cocktail these days costs $18 on average, I'd say. A glass of wine is maybe a dollar less. $20 would definitely pay for a beer, but I never order this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you know you're only staying for one drink just bring a $20 and plop it down on the table when you leave - "this should be plenty to cover my drink and tip - see ya!"

Then if the organizer forgets or "forgets" that you paid for yourself and sends a venmo for $40 you can remind her you paid at the table or just ignore it.

Just curious, would $20 cover one drink where you are? I am in NYC, and a cocktail these days costs $18 on average, I'd say. A glass of wine is maybe a dollar less. $20 would definitely pay for a beer, but I never order this.

OP here - this was Happy Hour so drinks were a lot less. Mine was actually only $8 (margarita). I'm in SoCal so drinks outside of the HA window are in the $12-$18 range.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you know you're only staying for one drink just bring a $20 and plop it down on the table when you leave - "this should be plenty to cover my drink and tip - see ya!"

Then if the organizer forgets or "forgets" that you paid for yourself and sends a venmo for $40 you can remind her you paid at the table or just ignore it.

Just curious, would $20 cover one drink where you are? I am in NYC, and a cocktail these days costs $18 on average, I'd say. A glass of wine is maybe a dollar less. $20 would definitely pay for a beer, but I never order this.

I was basing the amount on her OP which said her drink plus tip was $15. I rounded up so there's no question she's skipping out on her fair share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM unanimous! hardly ever happens!

Just pay get your own tab and pay for yours before you leave. If anybody has a problem with this, I wouldn't care.

I also wouldn't have paid the original $40 request. I would say I had one drink, here's my $15.

+1

Here is your dissenting voice. I don't hang out with people like you. I am grown and so are my friends. If you are still crying over a $15 drink and not paying for others, I have no time for you. That's ridiculous. I pick up the tab all the time. I don't care. It's not that big of a deal. If I can only afford to buy my drink, I don't go out.

I'm surprised that people still invite you.

I was wondering when the moocher would show up.

I am the moocher. I am a grown a$$ woman. This is not an issue in my friend set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM unanimous! hardly ever happens!

Just pay get your own tab and pay for yours before you leave. If anybody has a problem with this, I wouldn't care.

I also wouldn't have paid the original $40 request. I would say I had one drink, here's my $15.

+1

Here is your dissenting voice. I don't hang out with people like you. I am grown and so are my friends. If you are still crying over a $15 drink and not paying for others, I have no time for you. That's ridiculous. I pick up the tab all the time. I don't care. It's not that big of a deal. If I can only afford to buy my drink, I don't go out.

I'm surprised that people still invite you.

I was wondering when the moocher would show up.

I am the moocher. I am a grown a$$ woman. This is not an issue in my friend set.

Am "not" the moocher. My friends just throw down their cards. This is literally never a conversation. If you only had one drink, chances are that we won't let you pay at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This question will probably get me some negative comments but I'm okay with it because I truly want to know the correct etiquette for this scenario.

I'm heading out for happy hour tonight with a group of 7 friends, all are women. I am a lightweight, one and done and I like to get out of there early because I have two small children at home. The others in the group have more like 3-4 drinks, and linger for a while. No judgement there just trying to provide detail for my question. The last time we got together I had one drink (no food), and and left early. The rest of the group as I mentioned lingered for another hour or so, had appetizers + more drinks. As I was leaving I offered to pay the organizer of the group for my (1) drink + tip ($15), she said not to worry she would just get it from me later via Venmo. The next day I get a text from her that I owed her $40. I was a little surprised but didn't say anything as I didn't want to seem cheap or ungenerous. That said this really bothered me afterwards as clearly I had paid for a portion of everyone else's drinks and appetizers for the entire evening while I was home with my kids, and they were still at happy hour. My question is how do I handle this tonight. Do I insist on paying my portion before I leave, or let it go and just expect another $40 venmo request.

Go ahead, flame away I can take it.

Yeah, I have no issues saying to the server "can I have a separate check please? I"m just going to have XXX. Thanks."

If you're not going to speak up after the fact and say, no I"m not paying $40 for one drink, then you handle it on the front end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold on....
I hear it!
Do you hear it?......
(Cheap...Cheap...Cheap...Cheap).
The little birdies all are calling out your names! 😂

Wow. Are you 12?

And actually, the “cheap” people here are the ones trying to get OP to subsidize what THEY chose to eat and drink.

Wow. Are you easily triggered?
Don't go out with them if you can't afford it.

Ew. I'm glad I'm not friends with you. You sound like a total a$$h@le

Wow 6th grader (Ew.?!). Trust me, the feeling is mutual.

This is such an idiotic thread. Just inform the person requesting $40 that you only owe $15 or $20.
Politely, its not that hard.
That you are making a huge issue out of it and are so defensive indicates your cheapness. Period.

[Anonymous]

OP is from Southern California and on a DC website about Happy Hours???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is from Southern California and on a DC website about Happy Hours???

OP here - I live in SoCal NOW, by way of Bethesda where I was born and raised. Whitman/UMD.

[Anonymous]

When you order your drink just say "I'll have xyz and can you please bring me the bill for it too?" Then you can just pay right away and are free to leave anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pay the server directly for your drink (and tip!) before you leave. Tell the group you cashed out already.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hold on....
I hear it!
Do you hear it?......
(Cheap...Cheap...Cheap...Cheap).
The little birdies all are calling out your names! 😂

Oh here's the DB who orders a ton of drinks and doesn't want to pay their own bill. Who's the cheap one? It's you. Pay for your own food and drink, why is it cheap of that other person to not want to fund your addiction?

Meh, NP and I tend to agree (and I’m not cheap! I’m the one who usually just picks up the check to avoid discomfort for the party and trouble for the server when I sense this kind of situation is brewing, and I like treating my friends when I can)

Like, I get that OP and everyone is well within their right to order a Diet Coke and a salad and pay only for that. I’m not going to talk crap or anything or insist you cough up more money. But causing complications at the end of the evening is a buzzkill and makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s gauche to me. Maybe it’s just that I come from a family/culture where it’s not polite to talk about money like this and people perform ridiculous stunts fighting to pick up the check. It’s also strange and frankly somewhat rude to sip water or a soda when everyone else came to have drinks and apps. If I wasn’t going to partake in a social event involving food and drinks like happy hour or couldn’t afford it I would decline the invitation, and if for some reason I ended up not eating or drinking much like OP I wouldn’t balk at paying more than my share. It’s just part of being out with friends. This seems to be a very unpopular opinion though.

In any case, the best way to handle this is ahead of time; either let the server know you’ll be on a separate check or pay for your drinks at the bar. Or stop caring what people think of you and decline the venmo request and send only what you owe. Throwing down just enough cash or venmoing the host doesn’t work if everyone else decided to split it, and then everyone will be annoyed at you for causing a headache.

I agree with this. If you were only planning to sip water why did you agree to come to a happy hour / drink situation? Did you think you were there to workout?

Because she wanted to see her friends?

They don’t sound like friends.