If you did everything right (by DCUM standards)…. How?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is an unhealthy obsession with wanting to attribute all successes to being born in the right place rather than one's own hard work and accomplishments. It's become fashionable to talk like this in the last few years.

In reality, real life is very different. I could tell you ALL the stories of the kids born on third base and who are effectively flunking out of life. Downward mobility is real. And I could tell you ALL the stories of people from nowhere who ended managing directors, head of companies, law partners, doctors, business owners.

Some people are genuinely born with the drive and discipline to work hard. For some people, this just comes more easily.

If there is a pattern to success, it's hard work and discipline. Then if you combine it with getting your education out of the way earlier, getting married (and doubling your HHI) in your mid-late 20s, and picking the right career paths, the odds of coming out top increases substantially.

But not everyone has the work ethic.

I both agree and disagree. OP’s list is pretty achievable. They didn’t say “no debt” “still married” or have an income over $300k. If you are born into a wealthy family, you can probably sleepwalk into this list. However you can also check these items off from a working class background if you have the right support and these are your priorities.

The key is being born on 1st base and being willing to steal 2nd. I attributed a lot of my success to luck, but I also worked my butt off to get an engineering degree at a top school and I sold my soul for a decade+ to rise through the ranks at a large consulting company.

OP asked for advice - here’s mine.
In HS surround yourself with people who plan to go to selective colleges.
In college surround yourself with ambitious peers with good connections.
Maintain relationships.
Look who is successful in your company and seek their sponsorship- not just mentorship.
Set achievable goals that make you work hard. Live within your means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The secret was being born to UMC/UC parents who funded everything so I could live on easy street my entire life.

Nope. Went to top 10 undergrad (on financial aid with debt)/went to top 5 law school (debt). Got job at top 3 law firm in country.

Repaid loans. Easy. Made partner.

Met spouse at recent grads party for my university when I was 25. We were 3 years apart. Married at 30.

Key is being surrounded by very ambitious, very smart, very driven, and very connected undergrads. Second key is career choice. In big law, that’s still dictated by tier law schools.

Spouse wildly more successful than me.
Net worth - over $30m

I did not come from money. Qualify for financial aid and a Pell grant….

What does spouse do? Background?

Cartel kingpin? Lol.

[Anonymous]

I'm 41, and I have always had a full time job since I graduated college (except when in law school like many others in this thread). I started babysitting at 12, worked summers in high school and college, and after freshman year of college I worked around 10 hours a week in on campus jobs.

My oldest son is 14, and he started working last year too as a little league baseball umpire. OP asked what you would tell an 18 year old - I would say get a job. Do your best. Even if you're doing something you don't like - do it the best they've ever seen. I'm never above doing anything - whatever it takes, I'll get it done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here. I am good looking and have a big d!ck, and it has helped me with almost everything on your list. I worked my a$$ off at the gym in high school, got a sports scholarship. Was able to sleep with a professor or two to get my grades up. Hooked up and married someone who was a trust fund baby and her parents set my business up. She only wanted me bc she had heard of my rep.

#notwinning

Not saying you don't have a great life. Good for you. But nothing there makes me envious, like hearing about some people's lives. You just have a more ornate cage.

I think it was meant to be parody

It wasn’t parody. Like I worked very hard for what I have - the only thing I was blessed with was being well endowed. I used it to my advantage but worked hard too.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or endowments, but it’s likely your achievements are from the working hard part alone. It’s likely I’m better endowed than you and I can assure you that has had zero impact to any of the things OP listed.

[Anonymous]

If you:
- Married or met spouse by 30
Met her at 22, married at 24. DCUM considers that reckless, irresponsible, and trashy.

- Made $150K or more by 30
Engineering degree, plus investment earnings.

- Owned SFH by 35
Bought it late 20s, family-friendly affordable exurb

- Graduated with zero or manageable debt
Service academy, military paid grad school

- Remained thin and healthy throughout
Over 30, it’s two meals a day and work out 4-5 tikes a week, including strength training

- Continued with hobbies or activities or travel to make a fulfilling life
Ehhhh, hobbies include coaching kids’ stuff, church leadership, boating, and Netflix. We take a few vacations annually because we had plenty of time now to pay off the mortgage since we bought late 20s.

If your criteria are
Live in Bethesda or similar prestige zip code
Have $500k in annual (earned) income
Drive luxury brand cars
Send kids to fancy private schools
Have a second home

Then I fail every one.

My advice is be open to meeting the right person early, commit to hi or her, and use your 20s to build your lives as one — professionally, financially, and with your family. Being young newlyweds, and young parents, was awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here. I am good looking and have a big d!ck, and it has helped me with almost everything on your list. I worked my a$$ off at the gym in high school, got a sports scholarship. Was able to sleep with a professor or two to get my grades up. Hooked up and married someone who was a trust fund baby and her parents set my business up. She only wanted me bc she had heard of my rep.

#notwinning

Not saying you don't have a great life. Good for you. But nothing there makes me envious, like hearing about some people's lives. You just have a more ornate cage.

I think it was meant to be parody

It wasn’t parody. Like I worked very hard for what I have - the only thing I was blessed with was being well endowed. I used it to my advantage but worked hard too.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or endowments, but it’s likely your achievements are from the working hard part alone. It’s likely I’m better endowed than you and I can assure you that has had zero impact to any of the things OP listed.

Then you didn’t use it to your advantage. I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here. I am good looking and have a big d!ck, and it has helped me with almost everything on your list. I worked my a$$ off at the gym in high school, got a sports scholarship. Was able to sleep with a professor or two to get my grades up. Hooked up and married someone who was a trust fund baby and her parents set my business up. She only wanted me bc she had heard of my rep.

#notwinning

Not saying you don't have a great life. Good for you. But nothing there makes me envious, like hearing about some people's lives. You just have a more ornate cage.

I think it was meant to be parody

It wasn’t parody. Like I worked very hard for what I have - the only thing I was blessed with was being well endowed. I used it to my advantage but worked hard too.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or endowments, but it’s likely your achievements are from the working hard part alone. It’s likely I’m better endowed than you and I can assure you that has had zero impact to any of the things OP listed.

Then you didn’t use it to your advantage. I did.

That’s correct, and I didn’t achieve what the OP asked. But it’s not because of physical endowment, it’s because I lacked the drive to achieve those things (or to use the approaches you used). I suspect more of your success is from your character or other advantages.

[Anonymous]

I was born with immense privilege. Specifically, I was born in the United States, and to married, loving parents who were committed to raising my sister and me, together, and were willing to work.

[Anonymous]

I achieved all the things that OP described. I did this by mostly by being born on "third base".

I was born to white middle class college-educated parents in the United States. I had no health issues, learning disabilities, or trauma. My parents paid for private school and public university. I worked part time for spending money, and I studied hard and got an advanced degree in a field that pays pretty well. No school debt.

I met a good man who was also college educated with no debt and pretty good earning potential. We got married at 30, bought a SFH, live within our means and make good salaries. We have so far had no major medical events to wreck our finances. We started investing during the largest bull market in the history of the US stock market.

What I'm saying is that it's mostly luck and good timing. Secondary is making the most of the opportunities that we are presented.

[Anonymous]

My spouse did all of this, despite being born into a LMC/poor family and being non-white.

The secret:

1. Worked their tail off in school and career. Excelled at every level.
2. Didn't break the law or get in trouble in any way. Rule follower.
3. Proactively sought opportunity at every stage of life.
4. Worked multiple jobs while in school & college.
5. Did not marry young and chose a stable, reliable partner with UMC career/financial situation.
6. Did not have kids until married and financially stable.
7. Always maintained some work/life balance, allowing for fitness and travel. Goal was not to be rich, but to be secure & comfortable.
8. Got a little lucky. No serious health issues or trauma to derail.

Not very complicated, but also not at all easy to achieve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Simply being white and attractive has gotten me everything I’ve ever wanted.

That’s the 100% truth.

For me too and I'm not even that cute. I'm running and running and I'm outrunning others who I know are faster than I am. Comes out, I have hurricane winds behind me.
The winds and power disappears when I go back home where everyone is white.

[Anonymous]

None of that was hard to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The secret was being born to UMC/UC parents who funded everything so I could live on easy street my entire life.

I wasn’t. Was born to very poor and abusive parents. Made very disciplined, wise choices to create a different life for myself.

[Anonymous]

Don’t buy a stock unless it’s going to rise. Dramatically rise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male here. I am good looking and have a big d!ck, and it has helped me with almost everything on your list. I worked my a$$ off at the gym in high school, got a sports scholarship. Was able to sleep with a professor or two to get my grades up. Hooked up and married someone who was a trust fund baby and her parents set my business up. She only wanted me bc she had heard of my rep.

#notwinning

Not saying you don't have a great life. Good for you. But nothing there makes me envious, like hearing about some people's lives. You just have a more ornate cage.

I think it was meant to be parody

It wasn’t parody. Like I worked very hard for what I have - the only thing I was blessed with was being well endowed. I used it to my advantage but worked hard too.

Not to diminish your accomplishments or endowments, but it’s likely your achievements are from the working hard part alone. It’s likely I’m better endowed than you and I can assure you that has had zero impact to any of the things OP listed.

Then you didn’t use it to your advantage. I did.

That’s correct, and I didn’t achieve what the OP asked. But it’s not because of physical endowment, it’s because I lacked the drive to achieve those things (or to use the approaches you used). I suspect more of your success is from your character or other advantages.

Well, good thing you didn’t spread your genes far and wide.