Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you:
- Married or met spouse by 30
- Made $150K or more by 30
- Owned SFH by 35
- Graduated with zero or manageable debt
- Remained thin and healthy throughout
- Continued with hobbies or activities or travel to make a fulfilling life
How did you manage it? What are your secrets? Did you have your mind set on all of this and what sacrifices did you make that others didn’t? Where do you think others around you went wrong, so to speak? Did you have any adversity in your life? How did you avoid all the societal traps that prevent people from achieving this? Conversely, do you think this life is as “perfect”’as it seems or is there more to it? What advice would you your children, or 18-year-olds today?
- grew up in a family that emphasized marriage, so was seriously looking for a husband since I was about 23-24.
- not quite, but went over $150K at 35. I come from a LMC family with no wealth, so from about middle school it was crystal clear to me that passion jobs and searching for yourself are not an option. I work to live and have plenty of passions, but my brains go to the highest bidder (as long as it's legal). It also helps that I am a numbers person and naturally risk averse, so the path applied math => risk management was a match made in heaven.
- another thing my parents drummed into my head is to never rent, if possible, and get on the property ladder ASAP. I worked through college, got a well paying job after college, but continued living with my parents for a couple of years. Spent zero on going out, traveling and other niceties of being young, but had enough to buy a condo at 24, which appreciated and became a downpayment fora house at 29. It also helped that housing prices were more reasonable relative to a middle class income. But both the condo and the house were in "estate" condition when bought, then gradually renovated, but never got to the granite countertops.
- went to a public commuter school for undergrad, paid with Pell grant, lived at home. My work paid the bulk for the MS degree plus all the licenses and professional memberships.
- a combo of a reasonably healthy lifestyle and genetics. Meaning I'll definitely gain weight if I start eating without looking, but I didn't have to limit myself to 1000 calories/day in order to stay in shape.
- see above - I work to live, my hobbies are essential to me. I do not put kids first when it comes to the various activities, I keep it balanced, and try to incorporate them into what interests me, e.g. going to a family music camp for vacation.
The secret - I guess it was to completely sacrifice my 20s to build what I have. No spending, no travel, getting up at 5:30 every weekend to study for my professional stuff before the kids wake up. I took my first CFA exam when my kids were 1 and 3 and finished when they were 3 and 5, all studying done on the weekend mornings plus the commute to/from work. I took a 6:10 bus to work so I could come home at reasonable time, my husband covered the mornings. Etc, etc.
My life is definitely not perfect, but I am reasonably happy with how it turned out.
Advice for the kids? Chose your partner wisely - the right one will lift you up, the wrong one will sink you. Save money, especially when you are young - you need way less when you are young. Your work is there to pay the bills - no warm and fuzzy feelings, that's for your family and friends. Oh, and invest in friendships. Be a good friend, nurture your relationships with people. Bet your happiness on connections, not paycheck.
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