My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the funding public schools is what really will help this issue.... Am I right?

Public school funding is so poorly managed that it is a money pit with no accountability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to be changed to another class. IF your kid get's hurt, file a police report for assault.

A police report against a 6 year old? Is this real advice or a way to gin up an online brouhaha?

Sorry you won’t stand up for your kid, but if my kid gets assaulted with a chair, I’m filing a police report. My kids are older and the chair throwers we knew in K are now 12. They are still disasters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the funding public schools is what really will help this issue.... Am I right?

If by funding, you mean setting up dedicated schools where all the chair throwers can attend together, then yes. That is the answer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

Yes I think this is the solution. The violent kids I’ve seen personally are this way due to poor parenting. I don’t see why they should get a 1-1 aide when every kid could benefit from such attention.

Agree. Violent kids should be removed immediately and not able to return to regular classroom until they have had a consultation from professionals (medical and psychological), treatment plan in place, and clearance from a behavioural specialist to return. Why is it the schools burden to medically treat someone’s child? The school’s sole job is to teach. If a kid is being violent, then it is the parent’s responsibility to either find a special school that can accommodate their behaviour or get them the appropriate treatments

Actually it’s the school district’s responsibility to find a special school if the mainstream public cannot accommodate a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to be changed to another class. IF your kid get's hurt, file a police report for assault.

A police report against a 6 year old? Is this real advice or a way to gin up an online brouhaha?

Sorry you won’t stand up for your kid, but if my kid gets assaulted with a chair, I’m filing a police report. My kids are older and the chair throwers we knew in K are now 12. They are still disasters.

They graduate to throwing entire desks and then even worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

This isn’t about the parents. We don’t need more empathy here, frankly we need less. We need schools with rules where kids come prepared to learn and teachers are able to teach. Kids who throw chairs when they’re upset do not belong in a regular classroom, period. They need a contained environment.

The pendulum has swung too far the wrong way. I’m sorry for their troubles, but we cannot sacrifice the many for the sake of the violent few. Teachers and students have a right to feel safe in their classrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

Yes I think this is the solution. The violent kids I’ve seen personally are this way due to poor parenting. I don’t see why they should get a 1-1 aide when every kid could benefit from such attention.

Agree. Violent kids should be removed immediately and not able to return to regular classroom until they have had a consultation from professionals (medical and psychological), treatment plan in place, and clearance from a behavioural specialist to return. Why is it the schools burden to medically treat someone’s child? The school’s sole job is to teach. If a kid is being violent, then it is the parent’s responsibility to either find a special school that can accommodate their behaviour or get them the appropriate treatments

Actually it’s the school district’s responsibility to find a special school if the mainstream public cannot accommodate a kid.

And the districts are failing big time on this so we all suffer as a result.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

This isn’t about the parents. We don’t need more empathy here, frankly we need less. We need schools with rules where kids come prepared to learn and teachers are able to teach. Kids who throw chairs when they’re upset do not belong in a regular classroom, period. They need a contained environment.

The pendulum has swung too far the wrong way. I’m sorry for their troubles, but we cannot sacrifice the many for the sake of the violent few. Teachers and students have a right to feel safe in their classrooms.

In-person school should be a privilege for behaved children. If kids cannot function in a classroom, online school should be the default.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD’s classmate and friend was the 1st grade chair thrower. And hitter and eloper. It was hard because she targeted my DD who was also her safe person. It’s hard to explain the dynamic unless you’ve experienced it.

The school was very active about documenting the situation and describing it to me in writing as part of their effort to work with the parents. This was at a private school, and eventually the friend was counseled out and put in a special program in our zoned elementary.

My DD was given a safety plan by the teacher since she was really the only student who seemed to bear the brunt of her friend’s behaviors. She would go across the hall to the other 1st grade classroom or the other teacher would come and get her if she could hear a fuss starting up. The worst of it only lasted 3-4 weeks just after winter break, and by February break the girl had been counseled out.

I hope this reassures the parents of chair throwers on here: with medication changes and a lot of help, the girl is doing great now! We have had her over for playdates and meet her all summer to hang out and play at the pool. Here’s the crazy part: we have an insane and anxious rescue dog who basically can only be comfortably around ~10 people in the world. Usually he is crated or goes on a car ride for playdates. When this girl is over, he is a calm mellow sweetheart and will sit quietly next to her to do crafts. You never know what’s below all of people’s layers!

Thank you for this. The world needs more kind, lovely people like you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

Yes I think this is the solution. The violent kids I’ve seen personally are this way due to poor parenting. I don’t see why they should get a 1-1 aide when every kid could benefit from such attention.

No child is going to get a 1:1 aide without suffering from a disability. You don’t think we should provide accommodations for kids with disabilities? Maybe we should rip out elevators, ramps, and accessible parking, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

This isn’t about the parents. We don’t need more empathy here, frankly we need less. We need schools with rules where kids come prepared to learn and teachers are able to teach. Kids who throw chairs when they’re upset do not belong in a regular classroom, period. They need a contained environment.

The pendulum has swung too far the wrong way. I’m sorry for their troubles, but we cannot sacrifice the many for the sake of the violent few. Teachers and students have a right to feel safe in their classrooms.

I'm a teacher, and I agree. Especially knowing that this situation doesn't exist because admin are just too empathetic. It's because the self-contained programs are expensive and admins get dinged for sending kids there or reporting any kind of discipline issue. So the incentive is there to keep any kind of nonsense quiet and just let the teachers and kids suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

I don’t care. About any of that. The thing I care about is my sweet, normal, smart child being able to go to school and learn, and not have to worry about getting hurt by someone’s out of control child.

How nice for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

I am very sorry you’re dealing with this. It must be scary to think about the future. For those that think school resources are bad, they look like a horn of plenty when you face the world of mental illness with an adult child who is larger, stronger and smarter and has the capacity for a whole lot more harm. PP I hope you find something that works before you reach that point.