My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be so scared for my child. If I wasn’t satisfied with the school’s response and I couldn’t reassign my child I would have DC wear a helmet and full protective gear. Seriously, I’m not risking bodily injury for my child for the sake of not offending a violent classmate.

I’m really curious what protective suit you make them wear when they’re in the car…

They have seatbelts and airbags and a safe driver. I don’t allow object throwers in my vehicle. See, society has devised ways to protect people from bodily harm in their vehicles. Why not in the classroom?

Right, but those monkey bars and slides are death traps. Also amusement park rides, planes, pools, even the car seats have death warnings on them. Hell, paper cuts can sting. So never mind bubble wrap your kid and watch the boy in the bubble episode from Seinfeld!

You're a pretty sick twisted individual. Defending this nonsense makes you seem more insane than empathetic. What is actually wrong with you?

I’m making fun of your anxiety. Catastrophizing (When a person fixates on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not) doesn’t help you make sense of the world, but humor can help. So, Seinfeld to the rescue.

So, you're a troll. That much is obvious.

You really think the most likely scenario when a kid is out of control that in a group of 25 kids, first of all the kid is aiming at other kids with the chair, AND that YOUR kid will be the one most likely hit by a chair AND that your kid won’t duck AND that the chair will seriously (not bruising, not a gash but seriously damage your child) and maim him or her for life? AND that this will happen so often and that so often your kid will be the one always targeted out of 25 kids, that you will need to send your kid to school in a helmet, and Tae Kwon Do level of protection.

This is what you believe? That is catastrophizing, it isn’t born out by any kind of probability. Best of luck to you and your kids.

Are you sure you shouldn't stick to making fun of people for the anxiety you diagnosed them with? That's just icing on the cake coming from someone who is so deeply concerned for children with dysregulation who are stressed and anxious themselves and have difficulty coping. You are truly an amazing hypocrite.

[Anonymous]

If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I have learned a lot from this thread.

I am surprised by the other parents who have posted here who think this is no big deal.

The parents of the violent kids with behavioral problems, especially the one who posted hoping that my kid will get hit with a chair and that I will get divorced, and the other who called my kid a snitch and bragged that her kid "beat the hell out of someone" has convinced me to go all in in terms of contacting the school and documenting this, as well as speaking with the other parents of the normal kids in the class to make sure they contact the school too. It is clear that the parents of these types of kids will be happy to defend them and minimize the effects of their behavior, and make sure they stay in the classroom, no matter what damage they do to the other kids.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am generally able to go about my daily business without worrying that someone will throw a chair at me and I think my 6 year old deserves the same.

OP, as a patent who contacted the school for something similar, contacting the school helps everyone, including the child throwing chairs.

You and the other parents should try to ficus on how this us affe ting your kids. The message gets across more effectively this way.

Hope things improve for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I have learned a lot from this thread.

I am surprised by the other parents who have posted here who think this is no big deal.

The parents of the violent kids with behavioral problems, especially the one who posted hoping that my kid will get hit with a chair and that I will get divorced, and the other who called my kid a snitch and bragged that her kid "beat the hell out of someone" has convinced me to go all in in terms of contacting the school and documenting this, as well as speaking with the other parents of the normal kids in the class to make sure they contact the school too. It is clear that the parents of these types of kids will be happy to defend them and minimize the effects of their behavior, and make sure they stay in the classroom, no matter what damage they do to the other kids.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am generally able to go about my daily business without worrying that someone will throw a chair at me and I think my 6 year old deserves the same.

The apples don't fall far from the tree. So it's not surprising that the families would react this way.

I think that's unduly harsh and unfair to some of the parents of children with behavioural issues who have posted here with all sincerity about their difficulties and shown compassion for the other children. But it sure does apply to a couple of posters here (I hope they are trolls but I suspect not all of them are).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember that one episode of Little House on the Prairie where the older bully kids are picking on Ms Beetle and she couldn’t get him under control, so the “school board” had a meeting and Mrs. Olsen had Ms. Beetle fired?

Yeah. Just a reminder that Mrs Olsen was the Karen of the community.
Don’t be like that.

Support the teacher and send an email to your child’s teacher asking what support the teacher needs. Lead with compassion and express empathy for the young child who is struggling to contain strong emotions and affirm that this may be difficult for the teacher as well and you want to advocate for the teacher and students so that this is a workable situation. Would it be helpful for parents to ask the administration to provide additional supports ?
Start there and see what happens.

This is such smug, prim, fake idiocy that I can’t even believe you’re serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I have learned a lot from this thread.

I am surprised by the other parents who have posted here who think this is no big deal.

The parents of the violent kids with behavioral problems, especially the one who posted hoping that my kid will get hit with a chair and that I will get divorced, and the other who called my kid a snitch and bragged that her kid "beat the hell out of someone" has convinced me to go all in in terms of contacting the school and documenting this, as well as speaking with the other parents of the normal kids in the class to make sure they contact the school too. It is clear that the parents of these types of kids will be happy to defend them and minimize the effects of their behavior, and make sure they stay in the classroom, no matter what damage they do to the other kids.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am generally able to go about my daily business without worrying that someone will throw a chair at me and I think my 6 year old deserves the same.

OP, as a patent who contacted the school for something similar, contacting the school helps everyone, including the child throwing chairs.

You and the other parents should try to ficus on how this us affe ting your kids. The message gets across more effectively this way.

Hope things improve for your child.

As both a parent of a child with significant behavioral challenges, and a poster in this thread defending the rights of children with disabilities, I have absolutely no problem with other parents contacting the principal in those situations. If the behaviors are being managed that poorly, then there’s a good chance the parents of the child have been fighting with the school to bring appropriate supports into the classroom.

I do, however, take issue with the posters that suggest schools shouldn’t have an obligation to teach these kids. And the posters that aren’t able to look past their emotions to see the scope and magnitude of where the real problems are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

If a kid with a chair is terrifying, what are people in Morocco are feeling right now? Like to you, what words convey more fear than terrifying or do you think that is the same level of fear?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I have learned a lot from this thread.

I am surprised by the other parents who have posted here who think this is no big deal.

The parents of the violent kids with behavioral problems, especially the one who posted hoping that my kid will get hit with a chair and that I will get divorced, and the other who called my kid a snitch and bragged that her kid "beat the hell out of someone" has convinced me to go all in in terms of contacting the school and documenting this, as well as speaking with the other parents of the normal kids in the class to make sure they contact the school too. It is clear that the parents of these types of kids will be happy to defend them and minimize the effects of their behavior, and make sure they stay in the classroom, no matter what damage they do to the other kids.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am generally able to go about my daily business without worrying that someone will throw a chair at me and I think my 6 year old deserves the same.

OP, as a patent who contacted the school for something similar, contacting the school helps everyone, including the child throwing chairs.

You and the other parents should try to ficus on how this us affe ting your kids. The message gets across more effectively this way.

Hope things improve for your child.

As both a parent of a child with significant behavioral challenges, and a poster in this thread defending the rights of children with disabilities, I have absolutely no problem with other parents contacting the principal in those situations. If the behaviors are being managed that poorly, then there’s a good chance the parents of the child have been fighting with the school to bring appropriate supports into the classroom.

I do, however, take issue with the posters that suggest schools shouldn’t have an obligation to teach these kids. And the posters that aren’t able to look past their emotions to see the scope and magnitude of where the real problems are.

I am the PP you are responding to.

I am in complete agreement with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

If a kid with a chair is terrifying, what are people in Morocco are feeling right now? Like to you, what words convey more fear than terrifying or do you think that is the same level of fear?

The earthquake was not a preventable tragedy. Innocent children being attacked by a violent classmate IS preventable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

If a kid with a chair is terrifying, what are people in Morocco are feeling right now? Like to you, what words convey more fear than terrifying or do you think that is the same level of fear?

If you lock your door at night you're a p*ssy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

If a kid with a chair is terrifying, what are people in Morocco are feeling right now? Like to you, what words convey more fear than terrifying or do you think that is the same level of fear?

The earthquake was not a preventable tragedy. Innocent children being attacked by a violent classmate IS preventable!

OK I don’t understand why something that is preventable is more terrifying than one that isn’t, but it makes sense to you. It sounds like you are actually mad, not terrified. I hope you convey that your child’s rights are being ignored, but do so in a way that isn’t about your “terror.” Because talking about a 6 year old throwing a chair as if it is a huge tragedy is just drama instead of dealing with the issue maturely. And your kid has a right to stay in the classroom and learn. Express THAT, don’t make it about you and your anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

PP is more clever than any of you nitwits. Please read deeply. She is using the chair and OP's situation as an analogy for how powerless parents can feel over special needs and the lack of support.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. = Special needs child needs supports and the school refuses to do anything.

Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. = Tens of thousands of dollars for therapies.

Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. = Another incident. Still no support.

Then another chair in the face. = See above.

Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. = Surveys show that the rate of divorce in families with a child with disabilities may be as high as 87%.

Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. = Mom is devoted full-time to helping her child.

Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. = Surely you've caught on by this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.