My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

If this child is new to school, it takes a lot of documentation before the ball gets rolling on an evaluation. The fastest I've ever had it happen with a new student in a new placement was in January/February. So from the end of August until that time, I just had to document the behavior and involve the school psych, guidance/social worker, admin, parent, etc. This particular child was placed in a classroom with other autistic children at another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

Where’s the compassion for the other children in the class? Allowing this to continue does no good for anyone. Not the teachers, not the other students, not the chair thrower. Your compassion is misplaced and misguided. Tolerating this behaviour does not benefit the chair-thrower.

This. The poster who says your recourse is to pull your child and enroll them in private school is an A$$. My kid has a right to go to public school and not be subjected to repeated violent behavior by another child in the room and never addressed. Ridiculous on a level that I can't even fathom.

Yes, of course your kid is entitled to that, but it doesn’t exist. So?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

No.

[Anonymous]

Complain to the principal every time. The teacher probably does quite frequently and is probably ignored or lectured about classroom management.

The teacher has a choice here. She can either follow this student around the classroom all day to the detriment of the other students or keep a reasonable eye on the student while also trying to teach the other kids. During the latter is when things like chair throwing occur. So, her options aren’t great and she is receiving no support from admin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

No.

Why wouldn’t online school be a reasonable solution when the child is too violent for in-person learning? It is a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Remember that one episode of Little House on the Prairie where the older bully kids are picking on Ms Beetle and she couldn’t get him under control, so the “school board” had a meeting and Mrs. Olsen had Ms. Beetle fired?

Yeah. Just a reminder that Mrs Olsen was the Karen of the community.
Don’t be like that.

Support the teacher and send an email to your child’s teacher asking what support the teacher needs. Lead with compassion and express empathy for the young child who is struggling to contain strong emotions and affirm that this may be difficult for the teacher as well and you want to advocate for the teacher and students so that this is a workable situation. Would it be helpful for parents to ask the administration to provide additional supports ?
Start there and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to be changed to another class. IF your kid get's hurt, file a police report for assault.

A police report against a 6 year old? Is this real advice or a way to gin up an online brouhaha?

Dp, but when it’s common enough of an issue that it happens in multiple classrooms and the school admin won’t remove the child from the classroom, I can understand why someone would want a police report filed. The presence of a chair-throwing child in a classroom is a clear and present danger to the other children. It shouldn’t be tolerated.

Won’t remove is highly unlikely. The issue is probably that they cannot legally remove. You can’t blame teachers and school administrators for following federal law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid got home from first grade today and started telling me there is a kid in his class who is mean to other kids and get SO MAD. Today he got SO MAD he threw a chair. So, what is my recourse here?

Be thankful that your child has the ability to self-regulate - this child does not want to be "bad"
Have compassion and teach your child compassion
Have your child ask the student if there is any thing that helps calm them down that they can help with

If your are looking for other "recourse" - maybe pull your child and enroll them in private school?

No. This bullshit of caring more for the perpetrators of violence than the victims is how we got to the WJ/BCC assault.
If your kid can’t behave in public school, they don’t belong there.
And the pp is correct, call the police and file a report. Document everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

[Anonymous]

My cousin teaches 4th grade and she has a desk thrower in her class and the administration refuses to do anything. The kid started out in K as a chair thrower and became a desk thrower as he got bigger and stronger.

[Anonymous]

I am a very experienced special education teacher. We have no way to know if the child has an IEP, therapy, meds, supportive family, or what. The parents may be refusing to permit special education. There are a whole host of things that could going on.

If it continues, you need to make a lot of noise up the chain of command. The teacher is likely doing all she can. Express your support to her. Then, call and follow up with an email the principal. If it happens again, contact the principal’s supervisor. Go up the line to the superintendent. Also, contact your school board member.

The child who is acting out needs help, the teacher needs help, and the other kids who are either hurt, or experiencing secondary trauma by watching people be hurt, need help.

I work with the troubled kids. It takes so long for them to get to my room. It’s insane. We have programs that can help.

Every parent needs to speak up to get the funding, training, and help needed.

If your child is hurt, you should absolutely press charges. The court will then fund intervention for the kid.

Teachers, if you are hurt by a student, press charges to get help moving. It’s the fastest way. I’ve been doing this work for years, and I know.

[Anonymous]

If you nag the principal long enough, they will move your child to another class.

When resources are limited, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

[Anonymous]

We had a hitter in my kid’s class last year (third grade). He would punch people for perceived slights (cutting in line, “looking” at him). Occasionally he was shove kids. I asked my kid what the consequences are for the hitter and they said “the teachers tell us not to bother him”. It was the most bizarre form of dealing with this angry child, he learned nothing except that he could punch children as long as he felt “bothered” by them.

[Anonymous]

We have a extreme tantrum kid in my son's 1st grade this year. The family was well-liked and quite popular in social circles last year. I don't know what changed, but the kid's had several incidents this year already and the community has turned against them so fast. I feel bad for them but I also worry my kid is going to be injured.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Administrators have planned this insanity.