My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

Perhaps not, but you are oblivious to what can and should be done about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

Taking your kid out of school for a few months costs hundreds of thousands of dollars? What did you do during COVID?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

Perhaps not, but you are oblivious to what can and should be done about it.

Not all all. I am just a responsible parent and would protect everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

PP is more clever than any of you nitwits. Please read deeply. She is using the chair and OP's situation as an analogy for how powerless parents can feel over special needs and the lack of support.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. = Special needs child needs supports and the school refuses to do anything.

Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. = Tens of thousands of dollars for therapies.

Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. = Another incident. Still no support.

Then another chair in the face. = See above.

Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. = Surveys show that the rate of divorce in families with a child with disabilities may be as high as 87%.

Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. = Mom is devoted full-time to helping her child.

Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. = Surely you've caught on by this one.

Finally, someone who can read! I’ve been stunned at all the posters taking this literally… some really dim bulbs around here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

Taking your kid out of school for a few months costs hundreds of thousands of dollars? What did you do during COVID?

They kept going to daycare and a full-day therapy program, except for the first couple weeks when everything was shut down.

I’m not sure what job you have, but we certainly don’t have jobs that would let us take a few months off with a moment's notice. So you’re effectively telling people to quit their jobs.

You also don’t seem to understand the process for homeschooling or virtual school, which doesn’t happen overnight. You also don’t seem to understand the availability, cost, and typical insurance benefits for habilitative therapies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

Taking your kid out of school for a few months costs hundreds of thousands of dollars? What did you do during COVID?

They kept going to daycare and a full-day therapy program, except for the first couple weeks when everything was shut down.

I’m not sure what job you have, but we certainly don’t have jobs that would let us take a few months off with a moment's notice. So you’re effectively telling people to quit their jobs.

You also don’t seem to understand the process for homeschooling or virtual school, which doesn’t happen overnight. You also don’t seem to understand the availability, cost, and typical insurance benefits for habilitative therapies.

This is exactly what a leave of absence is designed for. And you don’t seem to understand that some people are actually effective and don’t make excuses for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

Ignore the anti-homeschool witch. Homeschooling is very effective for kids with ASD, ADHD, and other impairments. You don't need to be rich to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

But you are oblivious to the kids with unmet needs in an educational setting. Kicking them out of school isn’t the answer, appropriate supports are always the answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

Ignore the anti-homeschool witch. Homeschooling is very effective for kids with ASD, ADHD, and other impairments. You don't need to be rich to do it.

Er… do you know any asd kids that aren’t level 1?
Didn’t think so…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

But you are oblivious to the kids with unmet needs in an educational setting. Kicking them out of school isn’t the answer, appropriate supports are always the answer.

Much of this thread is about public schools failing to provide those supports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (complete non-angelic) kid and his classmates were traumatized by a kid like this last year in 2nd grade. The kid finally was placed elsewhere in the winter. I don’t know what the answer is other than very expensive solutions like skilled 1:1 aides. I felt badly for the poor little guy who couldn’t control himself, the teacher, and the students who were terrified of what was going to happen every day.

And the poor parents who are typically rejected by the community.

They deserve to be. Trust I will be keeping my eyes open to figure who the parents of this kid are at back to school night.

I am that parent. My child has been challenged with regulation since the day he was born. I have another child with the same parenting who is popular everywhere and praised for good behavior. I spend hours each month on parent coaching, psychiatrists for my dysregulated child, and lots of money on IEP advocates to get my child a 1-1 aide. Honestly the aide is as much for your child because they deserve to be safe and the school does t provide that with a child like mine in your class, as for mine. I send my child to special, highly regarded therapeutic camps in the summer that take up hours of driving and cost three times what any camp for my daughter could cost. My dysregulated child is, honestly, on the ASD spectrum and struggles, and is not diagnosed because he has a very high iq and can answer standings test questions whether he knows the answers or not. I would give a better environment if there was one but no private school will take him and he is three grade levels ahead in academics. So I work tirelessly to get him an aide who can keep him calm and stop him from being aggressive to others. It does work. But it is incredibly hard work and only possible because I have a lot of extra money and am a type A person who plans for this. Most parents in this situation would fail and it has come at the cost of a god marriage as it requires so much risk and out of the box thinking to manage that we often disagree.

I am worried more for your chi,d than you have having a son like this. It is a special hell I could not wish on anyone. I am scared for his future too. I try any medication that migh t work. But if it helps you to think about me as a demon who created my son, please go ahead. But the world is not so simple,

I am so sad to hear of children who were injured by other kids and the school thinks it’s ok. It is not. And I am so so sad that our schools have become places where we not only are children not safe, we are telling them it is ok to not feel safe.

That is all. Wish I had something better.

Amazing post. And you’re a special person to have the patience, perspective and empathy to even try to reason with OP.

We have a strikingly similar story. And I’m just so utterly exhausted and sick and tired of the cruel, snotty, thoughtless crap from people like OP that we’re now in pure defense/self-preservation mode. I don’t have the capacity right now to try and find common ground or understand her plight. Maybe one day.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. Then another chair in the face. Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. That’s what I hope.

There is NOTHING SNOTTY about parents terrified of their kids being injured by a goddamned chair or desk throwing child in their class, you pathetic bullshit artist!

PP is more clever than any of you nitwits. Please read deeply. She is using the chair and OP's situation as an analogy for how powerless parents can feel over special needs and the lack of support.

For now I hope her kid catches a chair in the face, and the school refuses to do anything. = Special needs child needs supports and the school refuses to do anything.

Then she spend hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars trying to figure out a solution. = Tens of thousands of dollars for therapies.

Then the kid catches another chair in the face. More effort, no results, no one can help. = Another incident. Still no support.

Then another chair in the face. = See above.

Then she and her husband fight every day about what to do about their kid being beaten with chairs every day and they can’t fix it. = Surveys show that the rate of divorce in families with a child with disabilities may be as high as 87%.

Then she quits her job to deal full time with this chair thing. = Mom is devoted full-time to helping her child.

Then their other kid is crying every day alone in their bedroom because there’s literally no time or space or capacity for ANYTHING but trying so Fking desperately to solve this chair thing. = Surely you've caught on by this one.

I don’t give a good goddamn about her suggestions, and there was nothing metaphorical in what she wrote. She had a pissy little rage-stroke because the consensus in this thread is that FAPE and least-restrictive requirements have put kids and teachers who could thrive in a standard public classroom in untenable and dangerous positions. I have an elementary aged kid in an excellent public school, and there are some dangerous kids who are but should not have been mainstreamed. My child is doing well, so you and Mommy of Damian can cram those pathetic fantasies of educable kids being hurt by hers. I’m glad if she feels shamed and shunned: she should. It’s earned. I’d love it if parents at her school saw her little sh!tiff here and knew exactly what they’re dealing with. If you think they’d say oh jeez look at her suffering you’re crazier than she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

You are legally required to send your child to school. If you have a kid throwing chairs, likely public is your only option. There aren’t going to be privates that accept your child.

You can homeschool or virtual school for a brief time to try to address the underlying issue. Then re-enter in-person school. There are always more options than you realize.

That’s right. I mean, obviously, anyone responsible made sure they saved up a couple hundred thousand dollars before they had kids so that they wouldn’t have to work. And it’s not like young kids with behavioral and attention difficulties would have any problem learning from a computer screen for hours at a time. And schools are well-known for being very accommodating for quickly changing student placements.

Some people in this thread are so oblivious.

I’m not oblivious to the harm that classroom violence inflicts on everyone.

But you are oblivious to the kids with unmet needs in an educational setting. Kicking them out of school isn’t the answer, appropriate supports are always the answer.

Much of this thread is about public schools failing to provide those supports.

Exactly! That’s the problem we should all be focused on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my child was throwing chairs, I would pull them out of school myself. Parents do have responsibility.

Not when they’re enraged that they didn’t get - or bother to raise - a kid who faces appropriate boundaries and limits to dangerous behavior, with an engaged family that limits their goddamned self-pity. Instead, these loser moms assume all other parents are on easy street, where the kids are naturally behaviorally perfect with zero interventions from their families. It’s all pure luck. There are no kids with SNs subjected to their sh!tbeasts outbursts in their worlds, of course.