My kid is in a class with a chair thrower

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

This isn’t about the parents. We don’t need more empathy here, frankly we need less. We need schools with rules where kids come prepared to learn and teachers are able to teach. Kids who throw chairs when they’re upset do not belong in a regular classroom, period. They need a contained environment.

The pendulum has swung too far the wrong way. I’m sorry for their troubles, but we cannot sacrifice the many for the sake of the violent few. Teachers and students have a right to feel safe in their classrooms.

In-person school should be a privilege for behaved children. If kids cannot function in a classroom, online school should be the default.

Luckily that’s illegal under several federal and state laws. And that’s probably why you were drummed out of MCPS, if you are who I think you are based on your other posts.

Is there a problem? Sure. It’s due to schools fighting parents of special needs who want proper support in the classroom. As demonstrated by the challenges discussed in this thread, everyone benefits when the necessary support is in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

So does that mean that NT parents need to fight for more services?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

So does that mean that NT parents need to fight for more services?

Lol - you can try! Good luck! That’s the reason why so many parents are gunning for elementary school AAP, because the “behaviors” are a lot less in an all-advanced classroom.

[Anonymous]

What happens if every parent demands their child be placed in another homeroom because their child isn’t safe?

How do you mainstream a child who is that disturbed when no families are willing to put their child at risk?

My heart goes out to parents and families dealing with their child’s issues, but fundamentally the classroom’s right to be free from harm should trump that single child’s right to be in a classroom. We have failed as a society if we are at this point. I can have empathy for that family and still call the police if my child is at risk or is harmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Violent kid should be moved into a virtual classroom ASAP.

Yes I think this is the solution. The violent kids I’ve seen personally are this way due to poor parenting. I don’t see why they should get a 1-1 aide when every kid could benefit from such attention.

Agree. Violent kids should be removed immediately and not able to return to regular classroom until they have had a consultation from professionals (medical and psychological), treatment plan in place, and clearance from a behavioural specialist to return. Why is it the schools burden to medically treat someone’s child? The school’s sole job is to teach. If a kid is being violent, then it is the parent’s responsibility to either find a special school that can accommodate their behaviour or get them the appropriate treatments

Actually it’s the school district’s responsibility to find a special school if the mainstream public cannot accommodate a kid.

And the districts are failing big time on this so we all suffer as a result.

I agree with you that things aren’t working but I think it’s more complicated than just the schools failing. You can’t just remove a kid and place them elsewhere or give them a 1:1. You have to go through the whole IEP process. Having done this multiple times and secured a nonmainstream placement for my kid (who had different issues so no need to attack me for having a violent kid), I can tell you that the process takes at least four months. And when it comes to alternate placement, the period can be longer because of the application process.

So while it might seem like schools and parents aren’t doing anything, you really don’t know because change, if any, will be months away. It’s not good but that’s what the law requires.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

So does that mean that NT parents need to fight for more services?

Lol - you can try! Good luck! That’s the reason why so many parents are gunning for elementary school AAP, because the “behaviors” are a lot less in an all-advanced classroom.

NP here. That is not necessarily true, unfortunately. Wait until the chair thrower gets to high school. Good times. Agree with other PP that all parents need to be advocating for their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

So does that mean that NT parents need to fight for more services?

Lol - you can try! Good luck! That’s the reason why so many parents are gunning for elementary school AAP, because the “behaviors” are a lot less in an all-advanced classroom.

YES! It's the #1 reason we want AAP, academics second. It's sad that regular kids have been left behind in the funding pie. They get less share of the pie than anyone and special needs get the most.

I don't believe that chair throwers are special needs kids though. A lot of them are violent and disturbed due to family circumstances and trauma. They need counseling and loving parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask to be changed to another class. IF your kid get's hurt, file a police report for assault.

A police report against a 6 year old? Is this real advice or a way to gin up an online brouhaha?

Dp, but when it’s common enough of an issue that it happens in multiple classrooms and the school admin won’t remove the child from the classroom, I can understand why someone would want a police report filed. The presence of a chair-throwing child in a classroom is a clear and present danger to the other children. It shouldn’t be tolerated.

Won’t remove is highly unlikely. The issue is probably that they cannot legally remove. You can’t blame teachers and school administrators for following federal law.

And Federal law is that the school provide a child with an appropriate IEP - including supports.
The School is not following federal law if this child has a known disability and the school is not supporting the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a chair thrower in 1st grade. He is now top of his class in 4th grade and one of the better behaved kids. It took a lot of therapy, meds, and the right type of school support. It's exhausting and horrible. My kid will now tell me things like "in 1st grade my teacher thought I was so bad, she never let me play at recess and I always had to sit alone". I don't have much advice for the other parents, because all of my energy was tied up in trying to help my own kid. Maybe if it makes you feel better you can try to be grateful that your child doesn't struggle this way? Not trying to he snarky, just offering another viewpoint. I also think it's totally fine to keep asking the principal to be moved to another classroom if your child is truly bothered or having trouble learning.

This makes me so mad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

Some do, particularly for more profound disabilities. But setting aside private placement, given that’s nearly impossible to get, most parents that I know with kids learning at grade level want their kids to stay in the home school. They don’t want a more restrictive placement— they want more supports in the general education classroom.

But the schools also fight that. Sometimes the schools and principals don’t want to fight for the money. And there are some, like the disgraced former MCPS principal that’s been bashing kids with disabilities in these threads, that simply don’t want to deal with these kids and try to inappropriately ship them off to self-contained programs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

This isn’t about the parents. We don’t need more empathy here, frankly we need less. We need schools with rules where kids come prepared to learn and teachers are able to teach. Kids who throw chairs when they’re upset do not belong in a regular classroom, period. They need a contained environment.

The pendulum has swung too far the wrong way. I’m sorry for their troubles, but we cannot sacrifice the many for the sake of the violent few. Teachers and students have a right to feel safe in their classrooms.

In-person school should be a privilege for behaved children. If kids cannot function in a classroom, online school should be the default.

Luckily that’s illegal under several federal and state laws. And that’s probably why you were drummed out of MCPS, if you are who I think you are based on your other posts.

Is there a problem? Sure. It’s due to schools fighting parents of special needs who want proper support in the classroom. As demonstrated by the challenges discussed in this thread, everyone benefits when the necessary support is in the classroom.

Let the voters decide. This is the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

So does that mean that NT parents need to fight for more services?

Lol - you can try! Good luck! That’s the reason why so many parents are gunning for elementary school AAP, because the “behaviors” are a lot less in an all-advanced classroom.

YES! It's the #1 reason we want AAP, academics second. It's sad that regular kids have been left behind in the funding pie. They get less share of the pie than anyone and special needs get the most.

I don't believe that chair throwers are special needs kids though. A lot of them are violent and disturbed due to family circumstances and trauma. They need counseling and loving parents.

That’s your brain trying to justify what your conscience tells you is wrong. Whether you want to believe it or not, many of the kids with significant behavioral challenges have developmental and social/emotional disabilities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I have a special needs kid like this

They offered to place him in a Nonverbal autistic class because of his intense behaviors

Or a regular class with no support. My son is at grade level academically. In other to get him the 1:1 support he needs, he needs to fail out of the regular class.

Blame the administration for making this insane system.

And yes, you should press charges if they do something life threatening. The school will be forced to deal with it.

Not sure what district you are in, but FCPS has an emotional disabilities program with self-contained classes for this type of child. It's pretty hard to get into though, and also not necessarily a good place to be. But they have it.

These posts just make it clear the parents of normal kids need to advocate for them. We can be sure the parents of the chair throwers will be advocating for their kids to stay in the class room no matter how bad their behavior is. Like one of the pps said, less empathy is needed here not more.

I’ve never heard of a parent fighting for a LESS restrictive placement. Everyone wants more services, not less. The problem comes in when the schools aren’t forthcoming about the options. Because most parents have no idea what even to ask for or how to go about asking for it in an effective manner. And the schools LOVE to fight about this stuff and will absolutely hire outside counsel to not have to pay to send a kid to an outside placement for kids with behavioral difficulties. It’s extremely daunting to go up against a large school district especially when you’re pretty sure you’re not going to win and the end outcome is going to be you wasted time and $$$ only for them to place your kid right back at the neighborhood school.

So does that mean that NT parents need to fight for more services?

Lol - you can try! Good luck! That’s the reason why so many parents are gunning for elementary school AAP, because the “behaviors” are a lot less in an all-advanced classroom.

YES! It's the #1 reason we want AAP, academics second. It's sad that regular kids have been left behind in the funding pie. They get less share of the pie than anyone and special needs get the most.

I don't believe that chair throwers are special needs kids though. A lot of them are violent and disturbed due to family circumstances and trauma. They need counseling and loving parents.

My nephew was a quasi chair thrower. He has very loving and very lax parents. At 6 he would punch his sibling and my SIL would rush to him and speak in a gentle voice, minimizing the injuries to her other child. There was no intervention until he turned violent in school. Then the parents felt ashamed, then angry, then the actual very intense and hard parenting began. He has matured so much.

A portion of chair throwers are like him. The school simply can’t do this work, it is unfortunately the burden of a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you need to go and read the Special Needs forum. Don’t post, just read. See what the parents are going through. Listen to their anguish as they post about struggles getting help for their kids both in school and through private therapies. See the emotional and monetary cost that they are living through.

Most parents are trying to help their kids and are frustrated with the system and how it is failing their kids. They don’t want their kid melting down in your kids class. They don’t want to be judged. They want the best for their kid. They want your kid to be safe.

It sucks having a kid melting down and throwing things and all of that. It sucks for the Teacher, it sucks for the students, it sucks for that kid. No one wants this. But solving it is hard and the families who are working to find a solution know it is expensive, there are not enough providers, and there are not enough Teachers.

Just read what those parents are living through. Hopefully it will reset the issue in your mind. You will still be upset about your kids experience and angry that your kid is in danger but maybe a bit less likely to use words like monster and ashamed and horrible parents. While there are some parents who are horrible, the vast majority os SN parents are working their butts off trying to help their kids. It isn’t easy for them or for the kid. But they are trying and not these absentee parents you think they are.

This isn’t about the parents. We don’t need more empathy here, frankly we need less. We need schools with rules where kids come prepared to learn and teachers are able to teach. Kids who throw chairs when they’re upset do not belong in a regular classroom, period. They need a contained environment.

The pendulum has swung too far the wrong way. I’m sorry for their troubles, but we cannot sacrifice the many for the sake of the violent few. Teachers and students have a right to feel safe in their classrooms.

In-person school should be a privilege for behaved children. If kids cannot function in a classroom, online school should be the default.

Luckily that’s illegal under several federal and state laws. And that’s probably why you were drummed out of MCPS, if you are who I think you are based on your other posts.

Is there a problem? Sure. It’s due to schools fighting parents of special needs who want proper support in the classroom. As demonstrated by the challenges discussed in this thread, everyone benefits when the necessary support is in the classroom.

Let the voters decide. This is the future.

They did. And they elected leaders that passed the 14th amendment, the ADA, IDEA, and a variety of state laws that protect the rights of students with disabilities.