He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

I kinda agree. If you know your partner has been sexually active with multiple partners, I'd want an STD result before I sleep with him. I did this with DH before we had sex for the first time.

It was a thing not that long ago for people to get AIDS testing before they had sex with a new partner.

A friend of my has an STD. She got it from a guy who had been sleeping around. She disclosed this to her then BF before they started having sex. They are now married with two kids.

The incidence of STD is pretty high, and a lot of people probably don't even know they have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

I kinda agree. If you know your partner has been sexually active with multiple partners, I'd want an STD result before I sleep with him. I did this with DH before we had sex for the first time.

It was a thing not that long ago for people to get AIDS testing before they had sex with a new partner.

A friend of my has an STD. She got it from a guy who had been sleeping around. She disclosed this to her then BF before they started having sex. They are now married with two kids.

The incidence of STD is pretty high, and a lot of people probably don't even know they have it.

Aside from that other poster’s rudeness and shaming, there is no test for male HPV so what are women supposed to do? Condoms aren’t 100% against HPV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you are so mad at him. Wouldn’t you do the same thing? It seems reasonable. He is probably wondering if you have been sleeping around.

He is well within his rights to ask for time, consult a doctor, etc. He could continue to see me if he wanted to but he’s choosing instead to cut off contact, which is very rejecting and hurtful.

Good point. Why can’t he even go to dinner or watch a movie with you while he figures this out. He could just put a pause on intimacy.

DP. I don't think I appreciated this initially. Yes, this stinks. He should still hang out with you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you are so mad at him. Wouldn’t you do the same thing? It seems reasonable. He is probably wondering if you have been sleeping around.

He is well within his rights to ask for time, consult a doctor, etc. He could continue to see me if he wanted to but he’s choosing instead to cut off contact, which is very rejecting and hurtful.

Good point. Why can’t he even go to dinner or watch a movie with you while he figures this out. He could just put a pause on intimacy.

DP. I don't think I appreciated this initially. Yes, this stinks. He should still hang out with you!

The guy is being an idiot all around. He is almost certainly carrier for some strains of HPV if he’s in his 20s or 30s and has been sexually active with multiple partners. There’s around an 80% chance, maybe higher.

That goes for all the scandalized on this thread that think HPV+ is disease ridden (or even treatable).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why you are so mad at him. Wouldn’t you do the same thing? It seems reasonable. He is probably wondering if you have been sleeping around.

He is well within his rights to ask for time, consult a doctor, etc. He could continue to see me if he wanted to but he’s choosing instead to cut off contact, which is very rejecting and hurtful.

Good point. Why can’t he even go to dinner or watch a movie with you while he figures this out. He could just put a pause on intimacy.

DP. I don't think I appreciated this initially. Yes, this stinks. He should still hang out with you!

The guy is being an idiot all around. He is almost certainly carrier for some strains of HPV if he’s in his 20s or 30s and has been sexually active with multiple partners. There’s around an 80% chance, maybe higher.

That goes for all the scandalized on this thread that think HPV+ is disease ridden (or even treatable).

What PP said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Lmao so this guy's is a drama queen because he doesn't want to catch hpv. Do you hear yourself. He doesn't have an STI and doesn't want one so he's a drama queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Lmao so this guy's is a drama queen because he doesn't want to catch hpv. Do you hear yourself. He doesn't have an STI and doesn't want one so he's a drama queen.

What’s your source that he doesn’t have HPV? You and he are both drama queens. And excruciatingly uninformed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:maybe you got it from him

This. Men don't have symptoms, so it's not unlikely he gave it to you.

But any man that freaks out over HPV is trash. Women are the only ones who get tested for it, but PLENTY of men spread it around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Lmao so this guy's is a drama queen because he doesn't want to catch hpv. Do you hear yourself. He doesn't have an STI and doesn't want one so he's a drama queen.

HPV is extremely contagious, spread by skin-to-skin contact. OP has it and was intimate with the guy so he almost definitely has it too.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Don't we all have HPV vaccine?

[Anonymous]

It's totally OK to be uninformed and seek medical advice. It's not OK to be a dink about it like OP is a leper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. Don't we all have HPV vaccine?

Not all of us, especially mid 40s and up.

[Anonymous]

FYI the HPV vaccine offers protection against cancer causing strains, not the ones that cause genital warts. You can be vaccinated for HPV and still get infected with a low risk strain of HPV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

I kinda agree. If you know your partner has been sexually active with multiple partners, I'd want an STD result before I sleep with him. I did this with DH before we had sex for the first time.

It was a thing not that long ago for people to get AIDS testing before they had sex with a new partner.

A friend of my has an STD. She got it from a guy who had been sleeping around. She disclosed this to her then BF before they started having sex. They are now married with two kids.

The incidence of STD is pretty high, and a lot of people probably don't even know they have it.

Aside from that other poster’s rudeness and shaming, there is no test for male HPV so what are women supposed to do? Condoms aren’t 100% against HPV.

I understand. My point is that because you don't know, you should at least test for what you can.

Condoms aren't foolproof for STDs or pregnancy, and adults should know this, which is why it's even more important to get tested for STDs regularly unless you are in a serious monogamous relationship, and you know neither of you have STDs that you know of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

I kinda agree. If you know your partner has been sexually active with multiple partners, I'd want an STD result before I sleep with him. I did this with DH before we had sex for the first time.

It was a thing not that long ago for people to get AIDS testing before they had sex with a new partner.

A friend of my has an STD. She got it from a guy who had been sleeping around. She disclosed this to her then BF before they started having sex. They are now married with two kids.

The incidence of STD is pretty high, and a lot of people probably don't even know they have it.

Aside from that other poster’s rudeness and shaming, there is no test for male HPV so what are women supposed to do? Condoms aren’t 100% against HPV.

I understand. My point is that because you don't know, you should at least test for what you can.

Condoms aren't foolproof for STDs or pregnancy, and adults should know this, which is why it's even more important to get tested for STDs regularly unless you are in a serious monogamous relationship, and you know neither of you have STDs that you know of.

TESTING FOR MEN IS NOT STANDARD OF CARE.