He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"He said he needs time and needs his doctor’s professional advice on how to proceed."

Totally reasonable. I'd do the same.

I agree that it's reasonable. I don't know much about it and would want to do the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are either of you married ???!

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Op—yeah, this is what makes me feel bad—if I have it, he must have it too. Yet I feel like he’s treating me like a leper.

[Anonymous]

OP here—I also wonder if he’s using this stuff about checking with a doctor as a way of letting me down easy? Like, instead of directly saying he’s done with me he said this and will just fade away?

But then I’m confused about why he would also say he really enjoys being with me, he understands this is a common thing, he hopes I understand and he wants to keep our relationship together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Op—yeah, this is what makes me feel bad—if I have it, he must have it too. Yet I feel like he’s treating me like a leper.

Is there a way he could have asked for time to see a doctor without you feeling badly? It feels like such a loaded sensitive topic that I cannot imagine a situation where it wouldn’t have stung. So I guess the issue is; is it ok that he asked for time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I also wonder if he’s using this stuff about checking with a doctor as a way of letting me down easy? Like, instead of directly saying he’s done with me he said this and will just fade away?

But then I’m confused about why he would also say he really enjoys being with me, he understands this is a common thing, he hopes I understand and he wants to keep our relationship together.

His comments actually sound internally consistent. What would a person who genuinely liked you but thought he really didn’t know enough about HPV do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been dating and why did you tell him that?

Do you keep diseases and viruses from the people you date?

[Anonymous]

Ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Op—yeah, this is what makes me feel bad—if I have it, he must have it too. Yet I feel like he’s treating me like a leper.

Is there a way he could have asked for time to see a doctor without you feeling badly? It feels like such a loaded sensitive topic that I cannot imagine a situation where it wouldn’t have stung. So I guess the issue is; is it ok that he asked for time?

OP here—oh it’s fine and I understand him asking for time and wanting to consult a doc as it’s his body and his choice and all…

But I feel hurt and damaged and diseased when he must have it too if I have it! Why is he treating *me* like a leper and refusing to even see me at all? That’s why I wonder if he’s trying to totally break it off with me and can’t outright say it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a drama queen he is. Like 50% of people have HPV. He probably does too we just don't test men and they don't often show symptoms.

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Let him consult his doctor or whatever. If he reaches out again ignore him and move on.

Op—yeah, this is what makes me feel bad—if I have it, he must have it too. Yet I feel like he’s treating me like a leper.

Is there a way he could have asked for time to see a doctor without you feeling badly? It feels like such a loaded sensitive topic that I cannot imagine a situation where it wouldn’t have stung. So I guess the issue is; is it ok that he asked for time?

OP here—oh it’s fine and I understand him asking for time and wanting to consult a doc as it’s his body and his choice and all…

But I feel hurt and damaged and diseased when he must have it too if I have it! Why is he treating *me* like a leper and refusing to even see me at all? That’s why I wonder if he’s trying to totally break it off with me and can’t outright say it.

But isn’t that what a doctor will tell him? Do you think he knows he has it too?

[Anonymous]

I got dumped by a dermatologist for the same thing. And he should have known better.

[Anonymous]

He is not a keeper. It’s kind of good you found out now, though. My spouse and I have been through miscarriages, infertility, surprise pregnancies, cancer health scares, mental health struggles, kid surgeries. That’s all a part of life. Find someone with more grit.

[Anonymous]

It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got dumped by a dermatologist for the same thing. And he should have known better.

OP—yes, the guy works in healthcare also. I was surprised he was not knowledgeable about this subject but I told him everything I learned and encouraged him to do his own research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

Wow. FYI I did have prior results with negative HPV and he had clean results too.