If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you had kids for you. You find meaning in life and control your life.

If your kids don’t want kids that’s none of your business.

That said, I agree with the PP that said if I don’t have grandkids I will spend every penny I earn. My childless kids (if that is their choice) can earn their own way through life. Why should I give them that bit extra help if there is no continuity in the generations, especially since they would be making an adult decision not to have kids. Now if they do manage to reproduce, they will inherit handsomely. And. . . no, I will not tell them this; my money; my business. Now if I look at it as family money then it’s family business, but that requires grandchildren for me.

Just like you are free to do with your money as you wish, your kids can choose what to do with their bodies as they wish. How would you even know if they struggle to have kids?

You are right that my money, my choice! And their body, their choice!

It's really not that simple because there are many ways to have kids that don't involve their bodies.

I would know if they struggle to have kids because we have a close, warm, loving relationship. And yes, I would financially help them to have children by any means they want - IVF, adopting, surrogate, whatever. If I get grandkids (or have potential to) they will get the family support I feel is necessary for healthy child development.

But, but, but...this doesn't perpetuate the bloodline. GASP!

[Anonymous]

We won't be having any grandkids due to a severely SN DD and a gay son who doesn't want kids. DH and I are ok with it since we had kids because we wanted to be parents. We can devote our love, time and money to our two kids and the other people in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

I mean of course your parents told you that. That raising you was the greatest joy. They are your parents- that’s what they say because they are good a parents! They aren’t making you feel guilty for ending their line because they are good parents! Child free adults often lack this sort of self awareness IMO because they have not yet experienced one of the major seasons in life, which is to have a child. If you skip that entire season, your life is stunted. I didn’t get it either until I had kids so I’m sure you will respond with a giant eye roll, but, sorry.

Even if what you say about my parents is true (it isn't), it demonstrates that YOU are not a good parent. Tying inheritance to progeny is some kind of f*cked up reproductive servitude. I hope your kids have kids, and keep them far from you. It will be the worst of both worlds for you.

everyone sees that the hate you spew is actually self-hate

Also, don't curse

There’s no hate in my post, just a viewpoint that you are not a good parent and should not be allowed around vulnerable children. Also, I’ll swear as goddamn much as this site allows me to.

How could you judge others parenting when your not a parent.

Anyone can judge anything, there's no prerequisites.

Nonsense. Sure there are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP, and PS, yes I will help as much as I can I if/when they chose to procreate. But I vowed that I will not be the source of pressure one way or the other. Their bodies, their choices.

Not really their bodies. This ain’t the Barbie movie.

For thousands of years my family had kids and paid it forward. I doubt they expected in 2023 a future descendent would kill off their unborn children and the blood line would stop

So no not your body really,

This is such a creepy view

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only want my children to make the world a better place, in some way or another.

AMEN!!!! (and I'm not religious !)

Oh...and I enjoy any time I get to spend with my adult children, despite the fact that none of them have children yet, and one of them may never have children. I don't actually care what they decide. If they want children, then that is great for them. If they don't....also great. I just want them to be happy, and as said above, make the world a little bit better in some way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

I mean of course your parents told you that. That raising you was the greatest joy. They are your parents- that’s what they say because they are good a parents! They aren’t making you feel guilty for ending their line because they are good parents! Child free adults often lack this sort of self awareness IMO because they have not yet experienced one of the major seasons in life, which is to have a child. If you skip that entire season, your life is stunted. I didn’t get it either until I had kids so I’m sure you will respond with a giant eye roll, but, sorry.

Even if what you say about my parents is true (it isn't), it demonstrates that YOU are not a good parent. Tying inheritance to progeny is some kind of f*cked up reproductive servitude. I hope your kids have kids, and keep them far from you. It will be the worst of both worlds for you.

everyone sees that the hate you spew is actually self-hate

Also, don't curse

There’s no hate in my post, just a viewpoint that you are not a good parent and should not be allowed around vulnerable children. Also, I’ll swear as goddamn much as this site allows me to.

How could you judge others parenting when your not a parent.

Anyone can judge anything, there's no prerequisites.

Nonsense. Sure there are.

Nope. Prove it.

[Anonymous]

This thread is really unhinged, even by DCUM standards.

I only have one child, not by choice. I tried IVF many, many times and could never have another. Being a mother to my daughter has been the best and most meaningful part of my life and always will be. DD does not intend to have kids, and I am really sad about that, but that would never ever make me treat my daughter any differently. And I'm sad because I wanted to enjoy and experience being a grandmother and watching another child/children grow up, not because of any weird need to perpetuate my genes or "bloodline." The idea that i would disinherit my DD for not having kids is, frankly, crazy to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you had kids for you. You find meaning in life and control your life.

If your kids don’t want kids that’s none of your business.

That said, I agree with the PP that said if I don’t have grandkids I will spend every penny I earn. My childless kids (if that is their choice) can earn their own way through life. Why should I give them that bit extra help if there is no continuity in the generations, especially since they would be making an adult decision not to have kids. Now if they do manage to reproduce, they will inherit handsomely. And. . . no, I will not tell them this; my money; my business. Now if I look at it as family money then it’s family business, but that requires grandchildren for me.

Just like you are free to do with your money as you wish, your kids can choose what to do with their bodies as they wish. How would you even know if they struggle to have kids?

You are right that my money, my choice! And their body, their choice!

It's really not that simple because there are many ways to have kids that don't involve their bodies.

I would know if they struggle to have kids because we have a close, warm, loving relationship. And yes, I would financially help them to have children by any means they want - IVF, adopting, surrogate, whatever. If I get grandkids (or have potential to) they will get the family support I feel is necessary for healthy child development.

If you have daughters, offer to pay for her to freeze her eggs. My friend is doing this now for her daughter who is in her early twenties, just as insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband didn't want kids. I wasn't passionate about having them so we didn't, and have a great, fulfilling life. I do feel a little bad for my MIL, as his brother didn't want children either. She used to talk about it all the time, but she knows that ship has sailed. My parents didn't care, as I am from a huge family and then have a ton of grandkids (that they aren't even really into). What is interesting, reading all of your comments, is that I am still clearly my parents favorite child even though I didn't give them grandkids!

Not a point of pride

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband didn't want kids. I wasn't passionate about having them so we didn't, and have a great, fulfilling life. I do feel a little bad for my MIL, as his brother didn't want children either. She used to talk about it all the time, but she knows that ship has sailed. My parents didn't care, as I am from a huge family and then have a ton of grandkids (that they aren't even really into). What is interesting, reading all of your comments, is that I am still clearly my parents favorite child even though I didn't give them grandkids!

Not a point of pride

Says the non-favorite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

I mean of course your parents told you that. That raising you was the greatest joy. They are your parents- that’s what they say because they are good a parents! They aren’t making you feel guilty for ending their line because they are good parents! Child free adults often lack this sort of self awareness IMO because they have not yet experienced one of the major seasons in life, which is to have a child. If you skip that entire season, your life is stunted. I didn’t get it either until I had kids so I’m sure you will respond with a giant eye roll, but, sorry.

Even if what you say about my parents is true (it isn't), it demonstrates that YOU are not a good parent. Tying inheritance to progeny is some kind of f*cked up reproductive servitude. I hope your kids have kids, and keep them far from you. It will be the worst of both worlds for you.

everyone sees that the hate you spew is actually self-hate

Also, don't curse

There’s no hate in my post, just a viewpoint that you are not a good parent and should not be allowed around vulnerable children. Also, I’ll swear as goddamn much as this site allows me to.

How could you judge others parenting when your not a parent.

Anyone can judge anything, there's no prerequisites.

Nonsense. Sure there are.

Nope. Prove it.

Of course there qualified view points and non qualified view points in everything in life. Such a childish stance you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

OMG. So brainwashed.

Brainwashed, huh? To my mind, brainwashed is following the life script of college, marriage, house, kids. Try thinking for yourself for a change, not doing what everyone else has done.

I do! You are merely spouting off democrat talking points fed to you by the media.

And you are a mindless slave to your base instincts, no different than a rutting pig or a fertile cockroach. Life support for a reproductive system.

You do realize how crazy that response is, don’t you? Out of your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband didn't want kids. I wasn't passionate about having them so we didn't, and have a great, fulfilling life. I do feel a little bad for my MIL, as his brother didn't want children either. She used to talk about it all the time, but she knows that ship has sailed. My parents didn't care, as I am from a huge family and then have a ton of grandkids (that they aren't even really into). What is interesting, reading all of your comments, is that I am still clearly my parents favorite child even though I didn't give them grandkids!

Not a point of pride

Says the non-favorite.

Parents should never voice or show favoritism even if they have a favorite. It breaks up families with resentment among siblings and their children. You'd think people would catch on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

OMG. So brainwashed.

Brainwashed, huh? To my mind, brainwashed is following the life script of college, marriage, house, kids. Try thinking for yourself for a change, not doing what everyone else has done.

I do! You are merely spouting off democrat talking points fed to you by the media.

And you are a mindless slave to your base instincts, no different than a rutting pig or a fertile cockroach. Life support for a reproductive system.

You do realize how crazy that response is, don’t you? Out of your mind.

Insane to me is having children while the planet heaves with almost 8 billion people, and expecting everything to be fine. It’s great to mash your genitals together with someone else’s, just use contraception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP, and PS, yes I will help as much as I can I if/when they chose to procreate. But I vowed that I will not be the source of pressure one way or the other. Their bodies, their choices.

Not really their bodies. This ain’t the Barbie movie.

For thousands of years my family had kids and paid it forward. I doubt they expected in 2023 a future descendent would kill off their unborn children and the blood line would stop

So no not your body really,

My sister and I I only had boys, so our bloodline stopped with them. No more mitochondrial DNA from my ancestors.