If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of us can't have kids due to infertility, and don't want invasive IVF. It's a lot of money for something with no guarantee.

I've figured out how to give my life meaning even without being able to have kids. I'm sure, with some therapy like me, you can figure that out without grandkids.

To clarify, I love my kids and will always love them no matter what they do, whether it's their choice or not. I will also always support them emotionally. But financially only if I benefit also.

Does that sound cold, or are you grown adults expecting to still be babied by your parents? Especially the PP who's crying about how her mother didn't give her attention until she had her own kid. Some of you still have some maturing to do.

That's fine. Use your money how you want.

But if you want grandkids, you might want to let your kids know that you will loan them or give them money if they need it for IVF and infertility treatments and/or adoption.

Lots of people are having infertility issues, as our food and water supply gets more and more messed up.

Also remember that the younger your kids have sex, the more likely it is you will be a grandparent earlier. So if you want to be grandparents, encourage your kids to date etc...

Wait, what? Encourage promiscuity to ensure grandchildren? Odd.

Well, sex is how you get grandchildren. And "encouraging kids to date" is not promiscuity.

My parents activity stopped me from dating and I left home as soon as I could. Same with my siblings. We weren't supposed to date until we graduated from college and got a job, and absolutely not have sex or get pregnant before marriage.

I was so terrified my parents would pull me out of college if I got pregnant that I waited until after I graduated
and was employed, and out of their house before I had sex.

And guess what? Didn't find anyone to marry until I was in my thirties and already unable to have kids.

And then, guess what? My parents only had one grandchild they were too old to enjoy. Didn't live to see him grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, if you are not a troll.
I have kids. Always felt the pressure to do so. Only child myself.
I will tell my kids that they should only have kids if they REALLY want to and can afford it financially. No pressure from me. I DGAF if they do/don't have kids.

Obvious your kids DGAF if they knew how to F you have a grandkid

ha yeah no my kids are in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

I mean of course your parents told you that. That raising you was the greatest joy. They are your parents- that’s what they say because they are good a parents! They aren’t making you feel guilty for ending their line because they are good parents! Child free adults often lack this sort of self awareness IMO because they have not yet experienced one of the major seasons in life, which is to have a child. If you skip that entire season, your life is stunted. I didn’t get it either until I had kids so I’m sure you will respond with a giant eye roll, but, sorry.

Even if what you say about my parents is true (it isn't), it demonstrates that YOU are not a good parent. Tying inheritance to progeny is some kind of f*cked up reproductive servitude. I hope your kids have kids, and keep them far from you. It will be the worst of both worlds for you.

everyone sees that the hate you spew is actually self-hate

Also, don't curse

There’s no hate in my post, just a viewpoint that you are not a good parent and should not be allowed around vulnerable children. Also, I’ll swear as goddamn much as this site allows me to.

How could you judge others parenting when your not a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.

What a strange thing to say "every life has value". I suppose that could be true is negative value is also "valuable" to you. I mean, Hitler, child rapists, mass murderers - I think their collective value is better if they never had life. I don't think every life has value and I'm sure many who commit suicide or have been victrm of someone evil would agree with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think exactly like you, OP, except that I love parenting and do not regret prioritizing my children.

However, I agree with your greater point. What's the point if my line ends?

I don't know how old you are, but my uncle became a grandfather at 80+ years old. He had his daughter later in life, and she had a daughter at 36. It was probably the happiest day of his life.

The point is that you got to experience life. That’s it. You aren’t going to know anything about your “line” so why do you care? The world could blow up tomorrow. Would you think your life was pointless then?

PP you replied to. I come from a line of aristocrats and the point is to have kids and transmit one's family culture and wealth. We've been doing that for a thousand years. But it's OK you don't understand. I did not create the thread. I hope my kids have kids. I would be so happy to babysit.

I see. I came from a line of people whose culture and wealth were looted by colonial aristocrats. The sooner your line dies the happier I will be.

Wtf is wrong with you? You need therapy. Wishing death to people online isn’t stable.

Excuse my pedantry but the PP didn't wish anyone dead. They simply wished that certain people would not have children so that when they died natural, hopefully timely deaths (we all die) their line of looting colonists would die with them.

I understand that when your brain is limited by years of aristocratic inbreeding, reading comprehension can be a challenge, so I hope this explanation is helpful.

I know it’s sometimes hard to admit mental Illness. But wishing someone’s line to die out is mentally unstable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.

What a strange thing to say "every life has value". I suppose that could be true is negative value is also "valuable" to you. I mean, Hitler, child rapists, mass murderers - I think their collective value is better if they never had life. I don't think every life has value and I'm sure many who commit suicide or have been victrm of someone evil would agree with me.

Perhaps you got me on the hitler thing but your reasoning of those that commit suicide stops me flat. That is mental Illness. Are you saying everyone that has mental health issues should just go die? I’m sure the families of suicide victims would thoroughly disagree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you had kids for you. You find meaning in life and control your life.

If your kids don’t want kids that’s none of your business.

That said, I agree with the PP that said if I don’t have grandkids I will spend every penny I earn. My childless kids (if that is their choice) can earn their own way through life. Why should I give them that bit extra help if there is no continuity in the generations, especially since they would be making an adult decision not to have kids. Now if they do manage to reproduce, they will inherit handsomely. And. . . no, I will not tell them this; my money; my business. Now if I look at it as family money then it’s family business, but that requires grandchildren for me.

Just like you are free to do with your money as you wish, your kids can choose what to do with their bodies as they wish. How would you even know if they struggle to have kids?

You are right that my money, my choice! And their body, their choice!

It's really not that simple because there are many ways to have kids that don't involve their bodies.

I would know if they struggle to have kids because we have a close, warm, loving relationship. And yes, I would financially help them to have children by any means they want - IVF, adopting, surrogate, whatever. If I get grandkids (or have potential to) they will get the family support I feel is necessary for healthy child development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I think exactly like you, OP, except that I love parenting and do not regret prioritizing my children.

However, I agree with your greater point. What's the point if my line ends?

I don't know how old you are, but my uncle became a grandfather at 80+ years old. He had his daughter later in life, and she had a daughter at 36. It was probably the happiest day of his life.

The point is that you got to experience life. That’s it. You aren’t going to know anything about your “line” so why do you care? The world could blow up tomorrow. Would you think your life was pointless then?

PP you replied to. I come from a line of aristocrats and the point is to have kids and transmit one's family culture and wealth. We've been doing that for a thousand years. But it's OK you don't understand. I did not create the thread. I hope my kids have kids. I would be so happy to babysit.

Who knew Aristocrats babysat? Thought for sure a nanny would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you had kids for you. You find meaning in life and control your life.

If your kids don’t want kids that’s none of your business.

That said, I agree with the PP that said if I don’t have grandkids I will spend every penny I earn. My childless kids (if that is their choice) can earn their own way through life. Why should I give them that bit extra help if there is no continuity in the generations, especially since they would be making an adult decision not to have kids. Now if they do manage to reproduce, they will inherit handsomely. And. . . no, I will not tell them this; my money; my business. Now if I look at it as family money then it’s family business, but that requires grandchildren for me.

Just like you are free to do with your money as you wish, your kids can choose what to do with their bodies as they wish. How would you even know if they struggle to have kids?

You are right that my money, my choice! And their body, their choice!

It's really not that simple because there are many ways to have kids that don't involve their bodies.

I would know if they struggle to have kids because we have a close, warm, loving relationship. And yes, I would financially help them to have children by any means they want - IVF, adopting, surrogate, whatever. If I get grandkids (or have potential to) they will get the family support I feel is necessary for healthy child development.

You have a close, warm, loving relationship, and your kids know that your approval is dependent upon their personal reproductive choices. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.

Some would say that Hitler, child rapists, and mass murderers also have mental illness....

What a strange thing to say "every life has value". I suppose that could be true is negative value is also "valuable" to you. I mean, Hitler, child rapists, mass murderers - I think their collective value is better if they never had life. I don't think every life has value and I'm sure many who commit suicide or have been victrm of someone evil would agree with me.

Perhaps you got me on the hitler thing but your reasoning of those that commit suicide stops me flat. That is mental Illness. Are you saying everyone that has mental health issues should just go die? I’m sure the families of suicide victims would thoroughly disagree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been an interesting thread for me as a SAHM of five kids. It’s been good to reflect on that. I definitely didn’t have them just to have grandchildren although I do want grandkids and absolutely expect to help my adult children any way I can. But if kids are not in their future, so be it. I think it would upset me if they decided against kids because they didn’t want to pass on a possible mental illness or something. Every life, even a troubled one, has worth. What a lack of hope in that perspective.

Half the world is on fire, the other half is flooded. Deciding not to bring a child into this world is a kindness.

no it's not

You clearly haven't been paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP, and PS, yes I will help as much as I can I if/when they chose to procreate. But I vowed that I will not be the source of pressure one way or the other. Their bodies, their choices.

Not really their bodies. This ain’t the Barbie movie.

For thousands of years my family had kids and paid it forward. I doubt they expected in 2023 a future descendent would kill off their unborn children and the blood line would stop

So no not your body really,

Of course people's bodies are their own. Trust me, there is nothing special about your blood line that needs carrying on. You are simply an ant crawling on the face of the planet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

OMG. So brainwashed.

Brainwashed, huh? To my mind, brainwashed is following the life script of college, marriage, house, kids. Try thinking for yourself for a change, not doing what everyone else has done.

[Anonymous]

My husband didn't want kids. I wasn't passionate about having them so we didn't, and have a great, fulfilling life. I do feel a little bad for my MIL, as his brother didn't want children either. She used to talk about it all the time, but she knows that ship has sailed. My parents didn't care, as I am from a huge family and then have a ton of grandkids (that they aren't even really into). What is interesting, reading all of your comments, is that I am still clearly my parents favorite child even though I didn't give them grandkids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, I am childfree and so glad that my parents don't feel the way you do. They wanted to have a child to have the experience of raising a child, and that was their decision, not mine, obviously. I do not want this experience, and they understand and accept my decision. Frankly, more and more parents should expect to not have grandchildren, as younger generations come to terms with the devastation that climate change is wreaking on the earth.

I mean of course your parents told you that. That raising you was the greatest joy. They are your parents- that’s what they say because they are good a parents! They aren’t making you feel guilty for ending their line because they are good parents! Child free adults often lack this sort of self awareness IMO because they have not yet experienced one of the major seasons in life, which is to have a child. If you skip that entire season, your life is stunted. I didn’t get it either until I had kids so I’m sure you will respond with a giant eye roll, but, sorry.

Even if what you say about my parents is true (it isn't), it demonstrates that YOU are not a good parent. Tying inheritance to progeny is some kind of f*cked up reproductive servitude. I hope your kids have kids, and keep them far from you. It will be the worst of both worlds for you.

everyone sees that the hate you spew is actually self-hate

Also, don't curse

There’s no hate in my post, just a viewpoint that you are not a good parent and should not be allowed around vulnerable children. Also, I’ll swear as goddamn much as this site allows me to.

How could you judge others parenting when your not a parent.

Anyone can judge anything, there's no prerequisites.