If adults kids don’t have kids what’s the point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally gave up 22 years of my life between pregnancy and up college.

From kids soccer, back to school nights, SAT tutors, 21 birthday parties, play dates, paying for everything including college.

What was point of any of it without grandkids?

Lonely sad life for me at an empty Thanksgiving table with no one to even leave my stuff too.

What was point of having kids, what was even point of career or big house?

It is not your life.

And currently given the state of the US I would not want my children to bring children into this world.

Dumass repukes

Phone addicted people removing their genes from the pool. Rest of us will be.fine.

Feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Non troll here without kids. Every time I glance thru dcum I realize how great my life is.

👍

[Anonymous]

my friend had 5 kids, only ONE was there every weekend I visited her in the nursing home that year before she passed and all were in driving distance, like 30 minutes....I just assumed the other kids came during the week, well I ran into one of her friends who was there during the week and only ONE was there for her. Having kids to get to ANY end result....having grands, or someone to take care of you as you age is NEVER guaranteed, NEVER.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my friend had 5 kids, only ONE was there every weekend I visited her in the nursing home that year before she passed and all were in driving distance, like 30 minutes....I just assumed the other kids came during the week, well I ran into one of her friends who was there during the week and only ONE was there for her. Having kids to get to ANY end result....having grands, or someone to take care of you as you age is NEVER guaranteed, NEVER.

Not guaranteed, but also this is anecdata so repeating “NEVER” seems a little… defensive.

My oldest DC moved back to the DMV to, as they said themselves, “be near family.” Younger DC is about to graduate college and is weighting opportunities in CA but also, in their words, wants to “be near family.” Not all of us have indifferent kids, pp.

[Anonymous]

Some of these comments are a real punch in the gut. I wanted to have children and devoted a decade of my life to trying to conceive, but it didn't work out. I guess you'd say that my life is therefore pointless? Or, maybe you'd say that your comments don't apply to me, but how are you to know why someone doesn't have kids? Do childless people need to lay out all their heartbreak for you, so that they can have your pity instead of your scorn?

Maybe try to see the value in and be kind to everyone. That's a nice legacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of these comments are a real punch in the gut. I wanted to have children and devoted a decade of my life to trying to conceive, but it didn't work out. I guess you'd say that my life is therefore pointless? Or, maybe you'd say that your comments don't apply to me, but how are you to know why someone doesn't have kids? Do childless people need to lay out all their heartbreak for you, so that they can have your pity instead of your scorn?

Maybe try to see the value in and be kind to everyone. That's a nice legacy.

Nah I think most of those comments are directed at a certain element in our culture. People who are more interested in drinking or being snide on the Internet instead of pursuing anything of substance while trying to pretend any of their self absorbed nonsense means anything.

[Anonymous]

I find all of the posts from people who are against having kids (as opposed to people who wanted kids but couldn't have them for whatever reason) pretty fascinating. I wonder what it is about our culture that makes people so anti-children and why some families seem to "die out" so to speak while other families are seemingly immune and raise kids who want to have their own kids. Religiosity is obviously part of it, but I don't think that tells the whole story.

[Anonymous]

This thread is wild.

Best case scenario, some of our genetic lines carry on for a while longer, then someday the earth gets absorbed into the sun and all of this disappears forever. I suspect there’s no point whatsoever, for any of us, in which case aren’t we so lucky to be here now, experiencing all this beauty together? It’s all so random and amazing.

Agree that nobody wants the china set.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I literally gave up 22 years of my life between pregnancy and up college.

From kids soccer, back to school nights, SAT tutors, 21 birthday parties, play dates, paying for everything including college.

What was point of any of it without grandkids?

Lonely sad life for me at an empty Thanksgiving table with no one to even leave my stuff too.

What was point of having kids, what was even point of career or big house?

Did you have kids sokely because you wanted grandchildren?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my friend had 5 kids, only ONE was there every weekend I visited her in the nursing home that year before she passed and all were in driving distance, like 30 minutes....I just assumed the other kids came during the week, well I ran into one of her friends who was there during the week and only ONE was there for her. Having kids to get to ANY end result....having grands, or someone to take care of you as you age is NEVER guaranteed, NEVER.

You don't know what kind of parents they were. My mom could talk a good game but deep down was a narcissist and nothing could make her happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally gave up 22 years of my life between pregnancy and up college.

From kids soccer, back to school nights, SAT tutors, 21 birthday parties, play dates, paying for everything including college.

What was point of any of it without grandkids?

Lonely sad life for me at an empty Thanksgiving table with no one to even leave my stuff too.

What was point of having kids, what was even point of career or big house?

Did you have kids sokely because you wanted grandchildren?

Of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find all of the posts from people who are against having kids (as opposed to people who wanted kids but couldn't have them for whatever reason) pretty fascinating. I wonder what it is about our culture that makes people so anti-children and why some families seem to "die out" so to speak while other families are seemingly immune and raise kids who want to have their own kids. Religiosity is obviously part of it, but I don't think that tells the whole story.

My mom is a evangelical christian fundie, had 6 kids, of her 6 kids, #1 had 3, #2 had 3, #3-6 zero each. #2 might have one more (embryos on ice so she has options), #3-6 don't look like they will be having kids, one of them is a woman already wrong side of 35, another is a woman approaching it. MIL had 4 kids, #1 had 3 kids, #2 1 kid, #3-4 zero kids (one has a vasectomy)

Honestly, it is pretty scary, I look around and see that repeated over and over in families I know. It's one thing for birth rates to settle around 1.5, but is seems like <1 is in the near future. Forget about paying for elderly pensions, there may be a struggle to find people to pick up garbage and keep the electricity on. It's happening even in places like Afghanistan. Alot of Muslim gulf states are already below replacement. South Korea is especially scary and there is no reason to think that is not the future everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Sad day tomorrow for the childless couples

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sad day tomorrow for the childless couples

Now why would it be sad for the childless couples, and not the many unhappy child-having couples who dislike each other? For examples, you need merely to scroll through any of many DCUM threads, including the one about Father's Day when you dislike your husband. Or you could look to your own marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find all of the posts from people who are against having kids (as opposed to people who wanted kids but couldn't have them for whatever reason) pretty fascinating. I wonder what it is about our culture that makes people so anti-children and why some families seem to "die out" so to speak while other families are seemingly immune and raise kids who want to have their own kids. Religiosity is obviously part of it, but I don't think that tells the whole story.

My mom is a evangelical christian fundie, had 6 kids, of her 6 kids, #1 had 3, #2 had 3, #3-6 zero each. #2 might have one more (embryos on ice so she has options), #3-6 don't look like they will be having kids, one of them is a woman already wrong side of 35, another is a woman approaching it. MIL had 4 kids, #1 had 3 kids, #2 1 kid, #3-4 zero kids (one has a vasectomy)

Honestly, it is pretty scary, I look around and see that repeated over and over in families I know. It's one thing for birth rates to settle around 1.5, but is seems like <1 is in the near future. Forget about paying for elderly pensions, there may be a struggle to find people to pick up garbage and keep the electricity on. It's happening even in places like Afghanistan. Alot of Muslim gulf states are already below replacement. South Korea is especially scary and there is no reason to think that is not the future everywhere.

We live in a society that is hostile to children. We have garbage parental
leave, astronomical healthcare costs, childcare is becoming more and more expensive (but you also can't raise a family on one middle class income anymore), etc etc.

We're heading towards a point where the majority of kids are going to be from wealthier families who can afford it, and low SES "oops" babies. Educated middle class people who can do basic math on the cost of raising kids aren't going to have them by choice in this economic climate.