Would you leave if your wife cheated?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

And if he does leave, it will not be for you. Men have the entire world as their oyster at that point. They can do much better when looking for a girlfriend as a single man than when looking just for a married AP who won’t blow up their marriage. They don’t need a fellow liar or someone with kids or somebody else’s stay-at-home wife without a job or her own retirement that they will now have to support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doubt it, if we’re only sleeping together 2x a week but she’s got energy for another guy I’m out- Id be hurt that she was being lazy for me.

I had the other situation : 3-4 times a week with me and only 1-2 times a month with AP.

Guess what, that still sucks too. Still out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

And if he does leave, it will not be for you. Men have the entire world as their oyster at that point. They can do much better when looking for a girlfriend as a single man than when looking just for a married AP who won’t blow up their marriage. They don’t need a fellow liar or someone with kids or somebody else’s stay-at-home wife without a job or her own retirement that they will now have to support.

LMAO. You're a wronged wife, aren't you? So obvious. Cheating husbands don't leave their families so they can sit around, alone and drinking, scrolling through the dating apps. Nine times out of 10, they leave for an AP. They leave because they found someone else that they'd rather be with, someone who is worth the hassle of divorce, someone who they think is worth blowing up the home life for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I wouldn’t be able to hit that ever again, knowing some other guy had been in there. My kids are almost out of the house so easier choice now.

The theory is- women are a receptacle. Things linger. Men pull it out and wash it off. It’s harder for a man to psychologically go in there again.

That's ... not how any of this works.

He’s saying he doesn’t want sloppy seconds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

And if he does leave, it will not be for you. Men have the entire world as their oyster at that point. They can do much better when looking for a girlfriend as a single man than when looking just for a married AP who won’t blow up their marriage. They don’t need a fellow liar or someone with kids or somebody else’s stay-at-home wife without a job or her own retirement that they will now have to support.

Perhaps. Although I am financially better off than AP or my husband on my own. I stick around for full access to my kids, according to AP so does he. I fantasize about life with AP but I know it’s a fantasy.

[Anonymous]

Something I noticed in the workplace when extramarital affair involving two employees became known about:

Men looked at the cheating man either with head-shaking resignation as in "well, he's headed for trouble" or a little of "some like it hot" as in "he's a wild guy, but it's up to him."

But women looked at the cheating woman with actual anger. They were disgusted by it, sort of angry, and if they had been friends with her, that usually ended.

[Anonymous]

You m the poster with 4 friends who got caught cheating.

I’d like to point out none of the 3 men that divorced left.

All 3 stayed in the house, got primary custody of the children and the women ended up living in apartments.

The rich one eventually bought a house but also paid alimony and child support.

One still lives in an apartment 10 years later and sees her kids occasionally. She got 1/2 the equity in the home.

One remarried someone who doesn’t want kids, she was a SAHM who lost custody and got visitation. This was the most surprising that she never sought custody and saw her kids a couple times a week. Lol the house they lived in was in his moms name. Shell get some of his pension when he retires but that’s years away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something I noticed in the workplace when extramarital affair involving two employees became known about:

Men looked at the cheating man either with head-shaking resignation as in "well, he's headed for trouble" or a little of "some like it hot" as in "he's a wild guy, but it's up to him."

But women looked at the cheating woman with actual anger. They were disgusted by it, sort of angry, and if they had been friends with her, that usually ended.

I think a lot of women infantilize men and assume, subconsciously or not, that women have all the power to seduce innocent men away from their wives. This was definitely something that was expressed when a relative cheated on his wife- that the woman he cheated with somehow “tricked” him like he wasn’t a grown ass man.

So of course these super powered harlots get a lot of ire from women as threats to their marriages and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. I wouldn’t be able to hit that ever again, knowing some other guy had been in there. My kids are almost out of the house so easier choice now.

The theory is- women are a receptacle. Things linger. Men pull it out and wash it off. It’s harder for a man to psychologically go in there again.

That's ... not how any of this works.

He’s saying he doesn’t want sloppy seconds.

Yeah, but he has wildly incorrect notions about how long things stay sloppy. Live women work differently than his sex dolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something I noticed in the workplace when extramarital affair involving two employees became known about:

Men looked at the cheating man either with head-shaking resignation as in "well, he's headed for trouble" or a little of "some like it hot" as in "he's a wild guy, but it's up to him."

But women looked at the cheating woman with actual anger. They were disgusted by it, sort of angry, and if they had been friends with her, that usually ended.

Social norms shaped by centuries of patriarchal dynamics, I think. Historically, for men, it's just a messy situation. For women, because their husbands controlled all the property and non-virgins were damaged goods, a homewrecker was a more existential threat.

[Anonymous]

No it was a one off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

And if he does leave, it will not be for you. Men have the entire world as their oyster at that point. They can do much better when looking for a girlfriend as a single man than when looking just for a married AP who won’t blow up their marriage. They don’t need a fellow liar or someone with kids or somebody else’s stay-at-home wife without a job or her own retirement that they will now have to support.

LMAO. You're a wronged wife, aren't you? So obvious. Cheating husbands don't leave their families so they can sit around, alone and drinking, scrolling through the dating apps. Nine times out of 10, they leave for an AP. They leave because they found someone else that they'd rather be with, someone who is worth the hassle of divorce, someone who they think is worth blowing up the home life for.

Every buddy I had that got divorced after getting discovered in an affair, went on a 2-5 year spree of crazy sex Tinder hook ups and dates and living like college boys after 10-20 years of marriage. None of them left for the woman they had the affair with. I asked one guy and he laughed and said “I’d never trust her if I went out of town or left for work.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

And if he does leave, it will not be for you. Men have the entire world as their oyster at that point. They can do much better when looking for a girlfriend as a single man than when looking just for a married AP who won’t blow up their marriage. They don’t need a fellow liar or someone with kids or somebody else’s stay-at-home wife without a job or her own retirement that they will now have to support.

LMAO. You're a wronged wife, aren't you? So obvious. Cheating husbands don't leave their families so they can sit around, alone and drinking, scrolling through the dating apps. Nine times out of 10, they leave for an AP. They leave because they found someone else that they'd rather be with, someone who is worth the hassle of divorce, someone who they think is worth blowing up the home life for.

Every buddy I had that got divorced after getting discovered in an affair, went on a 2-5 year spree of crazy sex Tinder hook ups and dates and living like college boys after 10-20 years of marriage. None of them left for the woman they had the affair with. I asked one guy and he laughed and said “I’d never trust her if I went out of town or left for work.”

Yep. And they left their families unwillingly after the wife filed for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No it was a one off.

A one night stand or a complete affair (of multiple hook ups)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are plenty of beta males who would stay and try to work things out. However, I tend to agree with the person who posted that when a wife cheats, it's because she's already checked out. The only reason she would stay after her affair was discovered would be if her affair partner wasn't available to her. If the AP *is* available, she's leaving FOR him.

I think this is true. I am staying in my marriage, but only because AP is staying in his. If AP left his wife, I would be out of here.

And if he does leave, it will not be for you. Men have the entire world as their oyster at that point. They can do much better when looking for a girlfriend as a single man than when looking just for a married AP who won’t blow up their marriage. They don’t need a fellow liar or someone with kids or somebody else’s stay-at-home wife without a job or her own retirement that they will now have to support.

LMAO. You're a wronged wife, aren't you? So obvious. Cheating husbands don't leave their families so they can sit around, alone and drinking, scrolling through the dating apps. Nine times out of 10, they leave for an AP. They leave because they found someone else that they'd rather be with, someone who is worth the hassle of divorce, someone who they think is worth blowing up the home life for.

You know how often a man leaves for an AP?

Only 2% of the time.