How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

If the bold were true (its not) it would affect my winter birthday kids too. It hasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i redshirted my son. he is pissed about it. did everything he could to “graduate on time” and not be a year “behind”.

I know of boys and girls who feel the same way, one a close family member. The pro-redshirt fanatics don't understand that some kids will not be happy about it down the line and it's not a decision to make by following the crowd "oh, everyone around here does it!" which is what a lot of people say and how they all justify doing it. The ones who are wired to excel at language and mathematics are at risk of getting bored if the work is too easy. If you're going to redshirt, at least have a plan for providing enrichment when the school won't provide it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

If the bold were true (its not) it would affect my winter birthday kids too. It hasn't.

I think PP meant the cusp birthday kids that were sent in time. This whole conversation is moot for the majority of kids in the middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

If the bold were true (its not) it would affect my winter birthday kids too. It hasn't.

I think PP meant the cusp birthday kids that were sent in time. This whole conversation is moot for the majority of kids in the middle.

Its moot anyway. Its perfectly allowed and the "on-time" parents can pound sand.

[Anonymous]

I was redshirted, loved it, graduated valedictorian, and will redshirt both my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was redshirted, loved it, graduated valedictorian, and will redshirt both my kids.

You think you could not have done that and gone on time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

If the bold were true (its not) it would affect my winter birthday kids too. It hasn't.

I think PP meant the cusp birthday kids that were sent in time. This whole conversation is moot for the majority of kids in the middle.

Its moot anyway. Its perfectly allowed and the "on-time" parents can pound sand.

Why would you do it to your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i redshirted my son. he is pissed about it. did everything he could to “graduate on time” and not be a year “behind”.

I know of boys and girls who feel the same way, one a close family member. The pro-redshirt fanatics don't understand that some kids will not be happy about it down the line and it's not a decision to make by following the crowd "oh, everyone around here does it!" which is what a lot of people say and how they all justify doing it. The ones who are wired to excel at language and mathematics are at risk of getting bored if the work is too easy. If you're going to redshirt, at least have a plan for providing enrichment when the school won't provide it.

Most don’t want to be bothered with academics so holding back makes it easier so they will complain about lack of enrichment vs providing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

As a parent of a child with ADHD, such a statement makes zero sense. ADHD is a delay in the development and maturation of certain brain structures - of course having more time helps, in terms of coming up with a support strategy and finding the proper medication protocol (which changes over time and especially when puberty hits). The challenges of ADHD change can change over time, from the hyperactivity of a young child to the emotional dysregulation of a preteen.

It’s not a delay. It’s a neurological issue. A delay means they can catch up and outgrow it. They will always have adhd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

How is holding back a child who is doing fine going to help? Please explain.

The youngest kids in the grade- particularly boys- are more likely to be diagnosed with adhd in the first place. Which makes a very compelling argument for redshirting kids with borderline birthdays. The problem is the establishment not the parents or the kids.

Strange as mine has never shown any signs of ADHD. Often its parents and teachers with unrealistic expectations for kids and expecting them to act older based off older kids. You cannot compare a 5 year old K with an August birthday to a 6 year old K with an August birthday. Of course the 5 year old will seem less mature, but reality is the 6 year old is less mature as they are not with equal peers and acting a year younger as that is the track they are on.

And that 5 year old will be with kids turning 6 in September. He will be less mature and a year younger no matter what. Some 5 year olds can hang with the 6 year olds and some can't. Parents should determine what's best for their own kid.

They will find friends. Someone should not hold their kids back based off others doing it. And, it’s not just about when kids are five. My kid as a freshman is in classes with sophomores to seniors. They figure it out.

[Anonymous]

I was a day or two before the cutoff and my parents sent me. I was the youngest in my grade. I always said that I was good until I was in my 30s. Now as a parent, I look back on issues I had in school and realize that maybe I wasn’t so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

They may have experience. It's very much something to consider when your younger peers are out performing you. Its very much an issue in high school and kids lose friendships over the competition.

You are INSANE.

- parent of HS senior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was redshirted, loved it, graduated valedictorian, and will redshirt both my kids.

Lol. You are going to give some of these posters apoplexy. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

Yes, they do care and talk about it.

Not in my experience. My son is a redshirted summer birthday, like so many of his friends. It's their normal.

But are you in DCPS, which OP is?

I have an older child who was redshirted, do you?

I have kids going through the school system that OP’s daughter will be in. I have not seen one child redshirted in all of my children’s classes so far, and that’s hundreds of kids. DCPS does not do redshirting like all of the suburban school districts. Kids WILL assume she’s one of the younger summer birthdays, like every other child in the grade with the same birthday month will be. I’m not saying that will be a problem socially, but it’s something for OP to be aware of. All of the replies saying it’s totally normal and common just don’t apply to OP as long as she’s in DC schools.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/996642.page

And my kids have winter birthdays thankfully. I have zero dog in this fight, so no need to get defensive. i replied just to point out to OP what the norm is where she’s moving.

You’ve literally gone and somehow checked the birthdays/years of these random (by your admission) HUNDREDS of kids? That’s weird AF and you need to get a life…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. My child was not intentionally redshirted but ended up so after a move (and then was un-redshirted when we moved again). He is now a senior and is happy it worked out the way it did. He said he is glad he didn’t go to college last year at 17 and is looking forward to going next year at 18.

PP here. I forgot you asked about negative social consequences. That is only a thing in the heads of DCUM posters. My son said it was never socially an issue, not once.

Parent of a redshirted girl here and, ditto. Not a thing