How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

I was held back for every single grade, K-12. Everyone in 5th was so jealous when I got my license and could drive myself to elementary school. Made every varsity team first day of freshman year. Graduated HS at 31 top of my class.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

Yes, they do care and talk about it.

Not in my experience. My son is a redshirted summer birthday, like so many of his friends. It's their normal.

But are you in DCPS, which OP is?

I have an older child who was redshirted, do you?

I have kids going through the school system that OP’s daughter will be in. I have not seen one child redshirted in all of my children’s classes so far, and that’s hundreds of kids. DCPS does not do redshirting like all of the suburban school districts. Kids WILL assume she’s one of the younger summer birthdays, like every other child in the grade with the same birthday month will be. I’m not saying that will be a problem socially, but it’s something for OP to be aware of. All of the replies saying it’s totally normal and common just don’t apply to OP as long as she’s in DC schools.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/996642.page

And my kids have winter birthdays thankfully. I have zero dog in this fight, so no need to get defensive. i replied just to point out to OP what the norm is where she’s moving.

You’ve literally gone and somehow checked the birthdays/years of these random (by your admission) HUNDREDS of kids? That’s weird AF and you need to get a life…

Small schools where kids know each other. Not that hard. They post the birthdays on the wall in early elementary, and kids talk. Plus the constant barrage of birthday party invites.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I was redshirted, loved it, graduated valedictorian, and will redshirt both my kids.

Lol. You are going to give some of these posters apoplexy. Good for you.

Ha! Same!! My DH and I, both Sept birthdays, both redshirted. We graduated at the top of our classes, went on to amazing grad schools, and no one really cared or said anything when we were going through school. And no, I didn’t notice at the age of 4 that I spent an extra year of preschool. My preschool was awesome and I loved it and didn’t (in my memory) notice.

I have an ASD daughter who presents mostly with social communication delays and if we don’t redshirt would start K at 4. We will likely redshirt her and send her to a junior k class with other kids with late summer early fall bdays.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

As a parent of a child with ADHD, such a statement makes zero sense. ADHD is a delay in the development and maturation of certain brain structures - of course having more time helps, in terms of coming up with a support strategy and finding the proper medication protocol (which changes over time and especially when puberty hits). The challenges of ADHD change can change over time, from the hyperactivity of a young child to the emotional dysregulation of a preteen.

It’s not a delay. It’s a neurological issue. A delay means they can catch up and outgrow it. They will always have adhd.

You need to do more research on ADHD including the 2/3 of kids who will not meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD as adults.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:i redshirted my son. he is pissed about it. did everything he could to “graduate on time” and not be a year “behind”.

I know of boys and girls who feel the same way, one a close family member. The pro-redshirt fanatics don't understand that some kids will not be happy about it down the line and it's not a decision to make by following the crowd "oh, everyone around here does it!" which is what a lot of people say and how they all justify doing it. The ones who are wired to excel at language and mathematics are at risk of getting bored if the work is too easy. If you're going to redshirt, at least have a plan for providing enrichment when the school won't provide it.

Most don’t want to be bothered with academics so holding back makes it easier so they will complain about lack of enrichment vs providing it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

If the bold were true (its not) it would affect my winter birthday kids too. It hasn't.

I think PP meant the cusp birthday kids that were sent in time. This whole conversation is moot for the majority of kids in the middle.

Its moot anyway. Its perfectly allowed and the "on-time" parents can pound sand.

Why would you do it to your kids?

I know you desperately want it to harm the kids but it just…doesn’t.

[Anonymous]

I was held back due to a summer birthday. It wasted a year where I learned absolutely nothing. It did not help socially or otherwise, but I never cared about sports (and I still don’t care about sports; being held back did not help me any with sports).

For a sporty kid, especially one who was not strong academically, then maybe - just maybe - an extra year might make some slight difference, but even that would seem pretty uncertain.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

Says who? That's not a real rule.

Ignore. This PP chimes in for all these threads to take about “19 yr old seniors”

Her kids are adults, and weren’t red shirted. She needs to go away

[Anonymous]

This is almost as batty as a circumcision thread. Who knew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is almost as batty as a circumcision thread. Who knew.

Anti-redshirters on DCUM are consistently and reliably crazy. Wait until natural law anti-redshirter chimes in. Yes, easily as nuts as a circumcision threads. Good entertainment, though. I love these threads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Loves it. Probably one of the best decisions we ever made for her (August 18th birthday with September 1st cutoff). I was sent on time (October 22nd- cutoff was Dec 31 where I grew up) and HATED it. So that made our decision easier.

Seriously? How did you all caps HATE this? Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

No regrets redshirting DS. He just finished his freshman year and is doing great!

[Anonymous]

The only people I know with regrets are those who DIDN’T redshirt their September birthday kids (our cutoff is 9/30.)

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a huge deal (particularly with an August birthday) but kids do notice. MY DD is a late July birthday that we sent on time. She's turning 8 this summer, just finished 2nd grade. We got yet another 9th birthday invitation just this week (there are kids in her grade that started turning 9 in March) and she does notice and does ask. I'm not sure she thinks much of it at this age.

As a parent, I think holding July or August birthdays is one thing, but March, April, May babies is weird (short of special needs). June is pushing it. I don't know why there's such apprehension around being the youngest. My DD is an amazing reader, just average at math. She has to work harder at math and personally I think that's doing more for her than just having the easiest path possible.

And yes, I know MULTIPLE spring kids that have been held back. I know a family with a 12 year old in 5th grade and a 14 year old in 7th grade as well (turned these ages before the end of the school year).

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a huge deal (particularly with an August birthday) but kids do notice. MY DD is a late July birthday that we sent on time. She's turning 8 this summer, just finished 2nd grade. We got yet another 9th birthday invitation just this week (there are kids in her grade that started turning 9 in March) and she does notice and does ask. I'm not sure she thinks much of it at this age.

As a parent, I think holding July or August birthdays is one thing, but March, April, May babies is weird (short of special needs). June is pushing it. I don't know why there's such apprehension around being the youngest. My DD is an amazing reader, just average at math. She has to work harder at math and personally I think that's doing more for her than just having the easiest path possible.

And yes, I know MULTIPLE spring kids that have been held back. I know a family with a 12 year old in 5th grade and a 14 year old in 7th grade as well (turned these ages before the end of the school year).