How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Public school Guidance counselors would not provide data or summarize it.

Try just said canned responses, like, everyone is fine we can handle it.

Meanwhile 35% of the current 3rd grade started K as a 6yo.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

Why are people making up issues and pretending they bother anyone? Put up some data that backs any of this up and stop talking out your butt. Do you really think older seniors are having some existential crisis about being a few months older than some of their peers? Someone is always going to be the oldest and someone is the youngest. Redshirted kids aren't failing in life despite all the hand wringing in here about the made up issues.

I’m pretty sure that is one of the crazy anti-redshirters. Your logic won’t work on her.

There is data on both sides. However you are looking at it only from holding kids back and needing to justify it and cannot stay on topic which is how do kids feel about it? I could put data up but that is not the topic. You can always google.

Go away weirdo.

Also you are unlikely to come out ahead in a data analysis discussion, because you can’t do even basic math.

So, instead of a discussion the best you can do is name call? There is data on both sides and you can google it if you are interested. I very much can do math and a child held back from January to June would turn 19 in high school.

The discussion is not about data but about how the kids feel about it? Start your own thread to name call, bully and discuss, although you are not capable of discussion, data.

You still can’t do math. Lol. Poor thing.

If you hold back a year they are 18 going in as seniors and turn 19. How is that hard to get? Funny how you cannot have a civil discussion. They turn 18 in spring of junior year.

Typically redshirted kids the youngest in their grade to begin with, so they are less than a few months from the cutoff. Let’s say the cutoff is Sept 1st and it is an August birthday. Summer birthdays are the norm.

So in their last year of high school, they do not turn 19 until after graduation and before college. They are no more than a few months older than the kids following the regular cutoffs. It is actually pretty trivial.

Except in NY and a few other areas fall kids miss the cutoff. That is not redshirting. Redshirting is generally February to August birthdays with the primary being March to July. So, March to June would turn 19. It’s not pretty trivial. Then they start college at 19 instead of 18.

Redshirted kids normally are no more than a few months older than the kids following the regular cutoffs. Most commonly less than 2 months. Please explain why this is not trivial?

My DD that was sent on time is up to 15 months younger than some kids in her grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

What does this have to do with OPs question?

Why should anyone care what causes you to sideeye someone?

[Anonymous]

Late August bday kids who are redshirted are in the middle range of ages at our elementary school.
Half the kids are older than her, half are younger — that implies 50% redshirting rate. We’ve seen the bday chart, directory which includes bdays, and five years of parties now.

If we hadn’t have redshirted she would have been the youngest BY FAR given the volume of spring and summer redshirted kids. We were warned by many parents about this when we moved in.

[Anonymous]

We came close to red shirting our son who had a summer birthday. As it turns out, we ended up sending him on time which was the absolute right decision for him.

Yes, he was among the younger kids in class, however, he zoomed through school and would have been eligible to graduate his junior year of HS at the age of 16. We wound up convincing him to go his senior year and he graduated at 17, instead, which he was very ready to do. He had another year of socialization at school, another year of driving experience, another year of PT job experience...

Had we redshirted him in K, he either would have missed out on his senior year or he would have graduated when he was months away from turning 19. That may not sound like a big deal but for a kid that was ready to tackle college level work at 15/16, I think it would have been a rough and boring year for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late August bday kids who are redshirted are in the middle range of ages at our elementary school.
Half the kids are older than her, half are younger — that implies 50% redshirting rate. We’ve seen the bday chart, directory which includes bdays, and five years of parties now.

If we hadn’t have redshirted she would have been the youngest BY FAR given the volume of spring and summer redshirted kids. We were warned by many parents about this when we moved in.

The redshirt rate at the private my kids will likely attend is 60% according to admissions. They were upfront about it when my 4yo son went through the admissions process this year. Anecdotally I know two fall birthday kids from his preschool who are going on time, but the school said 60%, the decision is up to the parents, and nobody every regrets doing it.

Also anecdotally I know of three guys with summer and fall birthdays who went on time. Two are now successful adults but wish they’d been redshirted because they struggled socially and maturity wise as kids. The other is a teenager and does okay, but constantly feels behind his peers being the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

Just because there is absolutely no reason you’re aware of, doesn’t mean there’s absolutely no reason. There may be very valid reasons that you don’t know, because it’s not your business.

[Anonymous]

My non-redshirted kids had friends throughout school and made many friends outside of hs and in college. He’s an independent cuss and I think he would have hated having an additional year in hs. Not only did we not redshirt him, he also managed to graduate college early, got a professional position and his own place shortly after graduation. It’s not a one size fits all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

This particular person I’m referring to openly admits she thinks ALL summer birthdays should be held whether or not there’s any reason to hold back.

That’s what I’m referring to.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

Just because there is absolutely no reason you’re aware of, doesn’t mean there’s absolutely no reason. There may be very valid reasons that you don’t know, because it’s not your business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

Just because there is absolutely no reason you’re aware of, doesn’t mean there’s absolutely no reason. There may be very valid reasons that you don’t know, because it’s not your business.

This particular person I’m referring to openly admits she thinks ALL summer birthdays should be held whether or not there’s any reason to hold back.

That’s what I’m referring to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

Just because there is absolutely no reason you’re aware of, doesn’t mean there’s absolutely no reason. There may be very valid reasons that you don’t know, because it’s not your business.

This particular person I’m referring to openly admits she thinks ALL summer birthdays should be held whether or not there’s any reason to hold back.

That’s what I’m referring to.

I’m not the PP but I would never in a million years trust you with sensitive information about my kid. I can read the nastiness and judgment rolling off a mile away. You learn to protect your kids from people like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a July birthday and October birthday girl both sent on time. It’s definitely better to be older but I’ll tell you it’s not totally straight forward.

1. Unless significantly older, kids don’t really think it’s a big deal that a kid was redshirted when close to the cut off date. People telling you otherwise here that it’s some sort of social stigma are stupid and just pushing their agenda. An august birthday held back bc of a couple weeks isn’t going to invite more than transient commentary from peers.

2. Being older does build confidence, but these are also the kids who tend to be the bullies and Queen bees at school. Without fail, the queen bee girl is always one of the oldest, maybe not redshirted but the fall birthdays. In middle school and high school these are the kids who are more mature in bad ways too. The younger kids seem to escape the pitfalls of teenage trouble more often being a little less mature than peers. This is just what I’ve noticed as a general pattern. Social maturity comes with costs.

3. Being older as a girl can have puberty related pitfalls - but for a smaller girl this probably won’t be a huge issue unless early puberty runs in the family. The trauma of being the girl with boobs and a developing body in 3rd/4th grade cannot be overstated - this is much worse for a girls self esteem in the long haul. For boys it’s very different and their issues are the opposite (being small and underdeveloped being an issue) so redshirted benefits them much more in that way.

These are all good points. It’s very hard to guess this as a five year old but usually holding back is for leadership or sports so the ultra competitive parents. It’s impossible to guess a boys growth patterns. Mine was slow and steady and come 8th started to catch up. Kids do notice age and classes come high school when you can have a 9th grader taking algebra or precalculus. It’s not as simple as size and they self segregate based on classes and activities. Many math, pe, music, art, foreign language classes are mixed in terms of grades in public schools. So, they may not get all the advantages in public of being the oldest given if they are older they should in theory be on the higher tracks and then their classes will be mixed grades. So, how would your senior who is 18 turning 19 feel about being in a class with a 14-15 year old?

Why are people making up issues and pretending they bother anyone? Put up some data that backs any of this up and stop talking out your butt. Do you really think older seniors are having some existential crisis about being a few months older than some of their peers? Someone is always going to be the oldest and someone is the youngest. Redshirted kids aren't failing in life despite all the hand wringing in here about the made up issues.

I’m pretty sure that is one of the crazy anti-redshirters. Your logic won’t work on her.

There is data on both sides. However you are looking at it only from holding kids back and needing to justify it and cannot stay on topic which is how do kids feel about it? I could put data up but that is not the topic. You can always google.

Go away weirdo.

Also you are unlikely to come out ahead in a data analysis discussion, because you can’t do even basic math.

So, instead of a discussion the best you can do is name call? There is data on both sides and you can google it if you are interested. I very much can do math and a child held back from January to June would turn 19 in high school.

The discussion is not about data but about how the kids feel about it? Start your own thread to name call, bully and discuss, although you are not capable of discussion, data.

You still can’t do math. Lol. Poor thing.

If you hold back a year they are 18 going in as seniors and turn 19. How is that hard to get? Funny how you cannot have a civil discussion. They turn 18 in spring of junior year.

Typically redshirted kids the youngest in their grade to begin with, so they are less than a few months from the cutoff. Let’s say the cutoff is Sept 1st and it is an August birthday. Summer birthdays are the norm.

So in their last year of high school, they do not turn 19 until after graduation and before college. They are no more than a few months older than the kids following the regular cutoffs. It is actually pretty trivial.

Except in NY and a few other areas fall kids miss the cutoff. That is not redshirting. Redshirting is generally February to August birthdays with the primary being March to July. So, March to June would turn 19. It’s not pretty trivial. Then they start college at 19 instead of 18.

Redshirted kids normally are no more than a few months older than the kids following the regular cutoffs. Most commonly less than 2 months. Please explain why this is not trivial?

Our primer k and k pulls forward March-august kids for redshirting. It is way beyond July and august. Which makes it such that the kids spring and summer “starting on time” are like 1 or 2 total per room. Usually transplants who moved to the area and get blindsided later by the age groupings.

The schools often have limited space and taking older kids is easier on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

Just because there is absolutely no reason you’re aware of, doesn’t mean there’s absolutely no reason. There may be very valid reasons that you don’t know, because it’s not your business.

This particular person I’m referring to openly admits she thinks ALL summer birthdays should be held whether or not there’s any reason to hold back.

That’s what I’m referring to.

I’m not the PP but I would never in a million years trust you with sensitive information about my kid. I can read the nastiness and judgment rolling off a mile away. You learn to protect your kids from people like you.

What are they saying that you think it wrong? They are saying one woman on Facebook pushes for all families to redshirt. Often people do it to justify their decision rather than what is best for the kids.

If people sent their kids on time with no exception the social part would resolve itself. And there will always be kids without friends or struggle especially if the nice kids don’t make and effort and the mean kids and parents dominate to the social scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do it if you want, but remember that they are older and try to not brag to everyone you know who didn’t redshirt their kids that your kid is a genius. It’s really annoying when a kid a few weeks younger than yours is “excelling so much for their grade” and this person is literally throwing it in your face and giving you advice about your kid when they forget that their child is a year behind in curriculum.

Yes, I’m obviously thinking if particular people.

YES.I know one parent like this. Brags about how advanced and gifted her daughter is and how boring school is for her blah blah… she should be in the grade above. She also vigorously argues with moms in a Facebook group that ALL summer birthday kids should be redshirted and loves to throw in phrases like “you’re giving them the gift of time”.

I didn’t redshirt my own kid, but I wouldn’t say I’m ANTI redshirt. But there’s a time and a place and parents redshirting for absolutely no reason kind of get a side eye from me.

Just because there is absolutely no reason you’re aware of, doesn’t mean there’s absolutely no reason. There may be very valid reasons that you don’t know, because it’s not your business.

This particular person I’m referring to openly admits she thinks ALL summer birthdays should be held whether or not there’s any reason to hold back.

That’s what I’m referring to.

You cannot gift time. You give them one more year at home but you take away a year of being and adult.