How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

+1 Redshirting won't fix the underlying issue and is not even guaranteed to make it less noticeable. Much better to send to the correct grade and get supports for the actual issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

How is holding back a child who is doing fine going to help? Please explain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

+1 Redshirting won't fix the underlying issue and is not even guaranteed to make it less noticeable. Much better to send to the correct grade and get supports for the actual issue.

If the issue is ADHD what difference does it make if the a redshirted kid gets "the supports" a year later? There will be a huge benefit to the additional year of maturity on top of the "supports" which you don't seem to realize. The supports are things like preferential seating, organizational help, reminders to stay on task, etc in my experience. Why the rush to get those supports in the "correct" grade? This advice doesn't make sense to me as a parent of a child with ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

How is holding back a child who is doing fine going to help? Please explain.

My kid with ADHD was doing "fine" in preschool and kindergarten. The shit hit the fan in 3rd grade. She's old for her grade with a birthday just after the cut off and the maturity gap is so apparent. She was doing find until school got real. Holding back wasn't an option, so I can't imagine how much worse it would be if she was young for her grade. Does that help? Let's hear your experience with your ADHD child now for a counterpoint if you have one.

[Anonymous]

i redshirted my son. he is pissed about it. did everything he could to “graduate on time” and not be a year “behind”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

How is holding back a child who is doing fine going to help? Please explain.

The youngest kids in the grade- particularly boys- are more likely to be diagnosed with adhd in the first place. Which makes a very compelling argument for redshirting kids with borderline birthdays. The problem is the establishment not the parents or the kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

They may have experience. It's very much something to consider when your younger peers are out performing you. Its very much an issue in high school and kids lose friendships over the competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was "redshirted" by 4 days. She's in high school now and it's a total non-issue. She has executive function delays and she's doing much better than she would be if she was a grade ahead.

She might have been just fine if she was a grade ahead.

I doubt it. She's autistic (which we didn't know when we decided to hold her back) and her academic, executive function, and social skills have always been delayed. She learned to read in 2nd grade -- I'm glad it wasn't 3rd grade!

This makes no sense and why didn't you get her help? In that year you delayed her, she could have been getting the help she needed from the school vs. having you just ignore things for a year, which probably made it worse vs. better.

Did I say I didn't get her help? Why would you assume I was ignoring anything? In the year that she repeated PK, she was diagnosed and connected to an amazing SN school where she thrived in kindergarten -- she started K as a 5 year old, just like everyone else (turning 6 a few weeks after school started).

She would have been better off in K at that SN school vs. another year of PK without that support.

But she wouldn't have give to K at that SN school if she hadn't repeated pre-k. She would have been enrolled in some non-SN school for K, and diagnosed there (instead of during the repeated pre-k year) and then she would have had to switch schools for 1st.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

How is holding back a child who is doing fine going to help? Please explain.

The youngest kids in the grade- particularly boys- are more likely to be diagnosed with adhd in the first place. Which makes a very compelling argument for redshirting kids with borderline birthdays. The problem is the establishment not the parents or the kids.

Strange as mine has never shown any signs of ADHD. Often its parents and teachers with unrealistic expectations for kids and expecting them to act older based off older kids. You cannot compare a 5 year old K with an August birthday to a 6 year old K with an August birthday. Of course the 5 year old will seem less mature, but reality is the 6 year old is less mature as they are not with equal peers and acting a year younger as that is the track they are on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a dog in this fight (my kids have winter birthdays) but its pretty obvious that the anti-redshirt parents have some weird axe to grind. Obviously they think it negatively affects their own child somehow.

With a winter birthday it's a non-issue for you so why are you posting on it. People holding back impact the kids not being held back.

Ah, there it is. You care because you think it hurts your kid. You don't care what helps the other kid. It's all about you and yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was "redshirted" by 4 days. She's in high school now and it's a total non-issue. She has executive function delays and she's doing much better than she would be if she was a grade ahead.

She might have been just fine if she was a grade ahead.

I doubt it. She's autistic (which we didn't know when we decided to hold her back) and her academic, executive function, and social skills have always been delayed. She learned to read in 2nd grade -- I'm glad it wasn't 3rd grade!

This makes no sense and why didn't you get her help? In that year you delayed her, she could have been getting the help she needed from the school vs. having you just ignore things for a year, which probably made it worse vs. better.

Did I say I didn't get her help? Why would you assume I was ignoring anything? In the year that she repeated PK, she was diagnosed and connected to an amazing SN school where she thrived in kindergarten -- she started K as a 5 year old, just like everyone else (turning 6 a few weeks after school started).

She would have been better off in K at that SN school vs. another year of PK without that support.

But she wouldn't have give to K at that SN school if she hadn't repeated pre-k. She would have been enrolled in some non-SN school for K, and diagnosed there (instead of during the repeated pre-k year) and then she would have had to switch schools for 1st.

Or, as parents, if you saw concerns, you either get a private evaluation and therapies or go through PEP or child find or whatever your county calls it to get your child early interventions. You don't wait till age 5 or 6, hold them back because its easier than spending the many hours in therapies as a preschooler the rest of us ended up doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

So you're just talking out your ass and don't have much experience with what you're talking about. That much is clear.

How is holding back a child who is doing fine going to help? Please explain.

The youngest kids in the grade- particularly boys- are more likely to be diagnosed with adhd in the first place. Which makes a very compelling argument for redshirting kids with borderline birthdays. The problem is the establishment not the parents or the kids.

Strange as mine has never shown any signs of ADHD. Often its parents and teachers with unrealistic expectations for kids and expecting them to act older based off older kids. You cannot compare a 5 year old K with an August birthday to a 6 year old K with an August birthday. Of course the 5 year old will seem less mature, but reality is the 6 year old is less mature as they are not with equal peers and acting a year younger as that is the track they are on.

And that 5 year old will be with kids turning 6 in September. He will be less mature and a year younger no matter what. Some 5 year olds can hang with the 6 year olds and some can't. Parents should determine what's best for their own kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it would be more damaging to be an older kid and have a lot of struggles compared to much younger classmates than struggles with same aged peers. The fact is your child will always have struggles (ADHD), holding her back isn't going to change anything in any way that would make a huge difference, especially if academically she's fine moving forward.

As a parent of a child with ADHD, such a statement makes zero sense. ADHD is a delay in the development and maturation of certain brain structures - of course having more time helps, in terms of coming up with a support strategy and finding the proper medication protocol (which changes over time and especially when puberty hits). The challenges of ADHD change can change over time, from the hyperactivity of a young child to the emotional dysregulation of a preteen.