How does your redshirted kid feel now that she/he is older?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless your boy is tall and exceptionally mature, red-shirt him.

Ok, should I redshirt my 11/1 bday kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

Yes, they do care and talk about it.

Not in my experience. My son is a redshirted summer birthday, like so many of his friends. It's their normal.

But are you in DCPS, which OP is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

I’m the poster with the redshirted son with ADHD and absolutely agree with this. Middle school is when I’ve noticed the biggest issue with ADHD in terms of completing assignments, turning them in, organizing papers, planning for the week ahead. Having that extra year to develop those skills is super helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With issues, red-shirt
Without issues, don't red shirt

Op, that means you red shirt

I think I agree with this. As a no-issues, bright and somewhat precocious girl who wasn't red-shirted but who was born 2 days after the cutoff, I absolutely hated it.

The ADHD makes me think it would be different for this girl though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My pediatrician aunt red-shirted both her sons. They both are going to Ivies now. Besides typical boy immaturity reasons, the boys were small (short parents). Even being a year older during their school years they were small. Both only grew to 5'6". However they had confidence and excelled in sports.

This makes no sense as they'd be small regardless of what grade they were in. Boys are not immature. Parents and schools are having unrealistic expectations for 5 year olds because they expect them to act and behave as 6-7 year olds so I have to question anyone who says hold back on maturity as a 5 year old should not be mature and if they are that mature, maybe something else is going on.

I would trust the poster's pediatrician aunt over some random poster who forgot to red-shirt her son. We are red-shriting our son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your boy is tall and exceptionally mature, red-shirt him.

Ok, should I redshirt my 11/1 bday kid?

No because 11/1 is after the cutoff anyway and he’d be one of the older kids naturally … unless you are the deliberately obtuse poster from the NYC region to refuses to understand that the rest of the country has a school cutoff between 7/31 and 9/30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

Yes, they do care and talk about it.

Not in my experience. My son is a redshirted summer birthday, like so many of his friends. It's their normal.

But are you in DCPS, which OP is?

I have an older child who was redshirted, do you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was "redshirted" by 4 days. She's in high school now and it's a total non-issue. She has executive function delays and she's doing much better than she would be if she was a grade ahead.

She might have been just fine if she was a grade ahead.

I doubt it. She's autistic (which we didn't know when we decided to hold her back) and her academic, executive function, and social skills have always been delayed. She learned to read in 2nd grade -- I'm glad it wasn't 3rd grade!

[Anonymous]

My husband was red shirted 30 years ago and he thinks it gave him a leg up.

A friend taught kindergarten for years and said she would always recommend red shirt-ing boys with birthdays close to the cut off. Said girls were usually fine, but more of a case by case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter was "redshirted" by 4 days. She's in high school now and it's a total non-issue. She has executive function delays and she's doing much better than she would be if she was a grade ahead.

She might have been just fine if she was a grade ahead.

I doubt it. She's autistic (which we didn't know when we decided to hold her back) and her academic, executive function, and social skills have always been delayed. She learned to read in 2nd grade -- I'm glad it wasn't 3rd grade!

This makes no sense and why didn't you get her help? In that year you delayed her, she could have been getting the help she needed from the school vs. having you just ignore things for a year, which probably made it worse vs. better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband was red shirted 30 years ago and he thinks it gave him a leg up.

A friend taught kindergarten for years and said she would always recommend red shirt-ing boys with birthdays close to the cut off. Said girls were usually fine, but more of a case by case.

It makes him older not smarter. You cannot change your IQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your boy is tall and exceptionally mature, red-shirt him.

Ok, should I redshirt my 11/1 bday kid?

No because 11/1 is after the cutoff anyway and he’d be one of the older kids naturally … unless you are the deliberately obtuse poster from the NYC region to refuses to understand that the rest of the country has a school cutoff between 7/31 and 9/30.

MCPS allows for flexibility up till 10/15 with test in. Some privates will allow 10/15 as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was red shirted 30 years ago and he thinks it gave him a leg up.

A friend taught kindergarten for years and said she would always recommend red shirt-ing boys with birthdays close to the cut off. Said girls were usually fine, but more of a case by case.

It makes him older not smarter. You cannot change your IQ.

Good thing there is so much more to being successful than IQ.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my DD's friend group (9th grade) there are 4 girls who are redshirted. No one cares.

My observation as a parent of a teenager with ADHD - redshirting your kid will help. After about 3rd grade, my son was 6 - 18 months behind in the executive functioning elements. Middle school through the beginning of 11th grade was really hard as all the conversations were about completing homework and things that were not done in class. Now at the end of 11th grade I have a kid who has survived a lot of challenges - and I wish it did not need to be that hard for him. He is really smart - but our school is not about being smart - it is about delivering assignments the way the teachers want them.

Kids care and talk. Don't kid yourself.

DP - not at all. I have 4 kids - Redshirting is so common these days. Kids don’t care. If a student repeats 4th grade or something, it will be noticed

It's common in families like yours where you have too many kids to meet their individual needs so you take the easy road vs. the best for the child road. Maybe you young kids don't care but it gets pretty obvious when a senior is 19 all of senior year. Or, a 16 year old freshman is driving.

Huh. My redshirted summer boy will be 18 all senior year just like his non redshirted sister with a September birthday. Same thing.

So, he turns 19 prior to going to college. He should be 18 going to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was red shirted 30 years ago and he thinks it gave him a leg up.

A friend taught kindergarten for years and said she would always recommend red shirt-ing boys with birthdays close to the cut off. Said girls were usually fine, but more of a case by case.

It makes him older not smarter. You cannot change your IQ.

Good thing there is so much more to being successful than IQ.

IQ generally plays a good part in it.