Not Invited to Half Sibling's Wedding

[Anonymous]

This is nuts. I had DH’s half siblings in my wedding party.

“I consider them family?!” THEY ARE FAMILY. This is horrible. I’m so sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There has to be a backstory here. This is awful.

OP here. There absolutely is no backstory, I promise. We get along well; this is out of left field. I mean, we all rented a house in Duck last summer. My sister thinks my half brother's fiancée is wrapped up in the idea that she is marrying a 'broken family' and doesn't want it on display. She is very active on social media and quite vain, to be frank.

You and your sister should dress as cinderella and post to all of her wedding posts as the uninvited step siblings

OP, do you think your half brother’s fiancee is aware that you think she is vain? Is it possible you said or did something to suggest she is vain, or to suggest that you don’t approve of her? It sounds like fiancée doesn’t want you there.

[Anonymous]

I would hazard a guess that OP's brother's fiancee does not value the older sisters vibes that she gets from OP and her sister. And I understand this. I've seen this happen in my own family.

OP you have to change the dynamic you have wiht your family members when they become adults and pair off. Whatever it is you do and say to him has clearly rubbed her the wrong way and she wants none of it. You need to be a bit more self-aware and analytical than you've been so far.

I recommend some soul searching and then perhaps an apology from you, to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, I give up. What exactly is a “half-cousin?” Your parent’s half-sibling’s child?

Not OP, but I'm pretty sure it's her half-brother's full first cousins - her stepmom's sibling children. The point being - the half-brother invited his cousins to this wedding, but not the half-sisters he's known and lived with from birth until the time they left home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll.

+1

[Anonymous]

I think your step mom got you disinvited, our "lost" the invite she was supposed to give you. And the reason is money. That she wants to estrange you from the rest of the family as a first step to stealing your inheritance for her real kids. Maybe has something to do with the bay house. Blood is thicker than water op.

You need to get a copy of your father's will and have a lawyer look over it. You may have been distraught at the time and missed something you are owed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess would be that the stepfamily played nice while the dad was alive and now the true colors are coming out.

I second that. They don’t want OP or her sister as part of their family anymore
Don’t know why they agreed to the vacation last summer..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:STOP BLAMING THE STEPMOM IT IS NOT HER WEDDING !!!!
YOU SAME HARPIES BLAMING HER WOULD BE THE SAME ONES COMPLAINING ON DDVUM ANOUT YOUR FUTURE MIL INSISTING ON YOU INVITING SOMEONE UOUBDIDNT WANT TO YOUR WEDDING.
BLAME THE BROTHER!

Looks like OP's stepmom is on dcum

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your step mom got you disinvited, our "lost" the invite she was supposed to give you. And the reason is money. That she wants to estrange you from the rest of the family as a first step to stealing your inheritance for her real kids. Maybe has something to do with the bay house. Blood is thicker than water op.

You need to get a copy of your father's will and have a lawyer look over it. You may have been distraught at the time and missed something you are owed.

This seems plausible and would at least explain the situation, even if still awful. My other thought was maybe stepmom is dating someone who she plans to bring and didn’t want to stir up drama. But still not a reason to exclude you.

Even if the bride doesn’t like OP, you act like and adult and either suck it up or talk it out. You don’t not invite the grooms sister unless it’s a really small wedding. Which does not seem to be the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
That's really quite terrible, OP. I would call my brother (to all intents and purposes he IS your brother!), and tell him you're very jurt: that you considered him family, just like your other siblings, that you looked after him when he was a child, etc... and then figure out what's going on from what he tells you.

You cannot walk away from this without exploring further. Your brother is a young adult, and probably not quite mature enough to call you first and explain. He's probably not comfortable with this situation.

Agree. He should know that you are hurt, and he should feel bad about it. Absent some serious issue (estrangement, addiction, terrible transgression at a past family event), there is absolutely no justification for this. It is a terrible thing to do.

I would also go back to your stepmother and let her know how you are feeling, too.

+1. The "I'm so sorry Lauren" doesn't cut it from your stepmom - this woman literally raised you if your father had full custody. And I'd let your brother know too. Frankly, I'd just be blunt and tell him you don't understand what's going on since you were unaware their was an issue with your relationship. And that the neighbors are invited to this wedding and you are not?

I think sometimes people don't really fully understand or appreciate what they are doing when they make their wedding invitation list. I get that it's the bride's "day," but it's also a family celebration. And not inviting a family member or a friend, or cutting people because they aren't 21 or whatever, causes lasting damage/family rifts. Your stepmom should have put her foot down. And it shouldn't take you letting her know how hurt you are to do it.

I am really sorry. This just sucks.

A conversation with your brother is the right answer. Or perhaps an email to stepmom and bro so they have time to think of their response.

[Anonymous]

If you read Jeff's summary of this thread he mentions that OP sock puppets as a different poster!

Shame on you OP. shame shame shame.

[Anonymous]

Wait, I am sorry. They are inviting their half cousins - meaning YOUR full cousins - but YOU aren't invited??

WTF????

That is just rude. Unless you have been horrible to them, this is inexcusable.

Nothing you can do about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything about this screams “Bridezilla” with both the stepmom and the half-brother acceding to her wishes. If I were OP, I would let the half-brother know now how I feel. If you just write him off with no explanation it will damage the long-time relationship with the stepmom, and OP has implied this is anything but her stepmom’s doing.

+1

I'll also ask if you and your sister happen to be exceptionally pretty? Or at least prettier than she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be relieved. I hate attending weddings.

You sound fun.

I hate weddings too btw and would be over the moon at being excluded.

How can you hate weddings? Are you socially anxious? Struggling with sobriety? Have a hidden eating disorder? Hate to be showered, groomed and dressed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was the distribution of assets when your dad died? I bet it has something to do with that.

I agree.

OP here. Stepmom was left both houses (approx 3M) his retirement, and savings (which were not disclosed but had to be sizable) and all of his kids were given an equal share of money.

I doubt I will see anything from my stepmom when she passes so I did think it was odd that my dad didn't anticipate this and provide more to me and my sister.